Beth's Contradictory Brain

Burned Out

One of the most frustrating aspects of any job, particularly one you're new to and therefore still at least a little happy to go to every day, is working with people who are burned out.

I'd say out of 6 people who work in our little outpatient lab every day, one other lady was in the phleb. class I was, so she's still happy to be at work (although there are other complications for her that I hope get resolved this week). One lady is having her baby tomorrow, but is one of the hardest working people I've seen - even very, very pregnant. The other three are pretty burned out. One of the worst parts of that is that they have tons and tons of knowledge I don't have, but sometimes getting it out of them takes way too much effort. The least burnt out of the three is looking to relocate to a different hospital, so that will make things suck even more.

I've already told Nerdstar that when I start to get that burned out feeling, tell me to find something new to do. That's one of the big reasons I went into this line of work - because there are plenty of different types of jobs in a hospital/lab setting. When the day comes I no longer enjoy dealing with patients, it'll be time to move to a job where I don't have to.

Deadwood

I've never loved a cast of a tv show like I love the characters of Deadwood. Yes, love. Every time I watch an episode, new or old, I worry and fret and laugh and hope and root for the ones I love and can't wait to see dead those who deserve to be dead. I'm sad there's not a fourth season. If shows like The Wire - which I admire for entirely different reasons - and Six Feet Under can have four, five or six seasons, then hell, Deadwood should have more!

I'm almost already grieving that Doc is probably going to die. (My only hope is that he makes it through the end of the season and they were planning on him dying early next season, although I'm probably wrong!) I thought it was only appropriate that Steve was killed by a kick from a horse. I wish with all my heart Joanie would get happy and Jane would get sober. I wish Al could read me bedtime stories. I'm so glad Bullock's wife is strong enough for him, and can't wait for Star and Trixie's wedding - which was probably also scheduled for the not to be fourth season - damnit! I love that Merrick just might grow bigger balls yet. I love the little Russian and that he's already standing up for the community. There will never be another tv character as fun to watch as Farnum.

Sigh.

Don't even get me started on the themes of Deadwood, how community civilizes us all eventually and so on and so forth.

Anyway. Here are two much better posts than mine about the show. Alan's and Matt's.

Scoop

I caught an early showing of Scoop this afternoon. I must admit the main reason for me even bothering is because Ian McShane is in it, and I love him! I've never been a Woody Allen fan, far from it, but I must say this was probably the most amusing movie I've seen in quite a while. There were serveral jokes that made me laugh out loud.

Allen is great at subtly (or not so subtly) making himself the butt of the joke. But he missed one great opportunity. He and Scarlett were eating dinner and he has a line about her being the daughter he never had - then he says no, he actually never wanted children and starts to list why. He starts a sentence, "When children grow up they just..." And there was enough of a pause that my brain automatically filled in "go and marry their step fathers".

Now that would have been priceless!!

Anyway. I had a good time watching it. But I certainly didn't read all the same stuff Althouse did into it.

Heh

This is one of the funniest things I've read in quite a while.

Pacman is not the man, but a slave to his own urges!

Lack of Diversity

I really do like my new line of work. Some days it's a little more stressful than I'd like - but that's as much because of moody co-workers as it is my abilities.

I've only been doing this since mid-March, but it seems a lot longer. I didn't realize how much I'd progressed until we had the current class of students and I got to see just how slow they are, and then also being able to "re-direct" when they've missed the vein.

If you offered me $1000 I couldn't begin to guess where Nerdstar's next job will be. Part of me had really hoped she could do another short tour at Leavenworth so I could get at least close to a year of experience before having to find a job in a new city. I also felt like it was just so nice to have a job I like going to every day.

But...

While I'm not getting bored with being a phlebotimist, I'm getting bored with our patient demographics! On a busy day we draw over 90 patients, on a slow day it's between 50 and 70. On a good day there are at least four of us there at any given time. Out of those patients, at least 70% are white people over 60, maybe 65. Another 15% are pregnant minority women - most under 22 or so.

It's not that I don't like either set, I'd just like to see a lot more diversity! That would require moving to a different part of the country!

Life

I know my blogging has been kinda lame lately.

In some ways there really isn't much going on. Nerdstar heads back to Japan tomorrow after laying her grandma to rest. I can only hope that from a distance I've been at least a little comfort to her.

That said, in some ways I'll be glad when she's back in Japan because we'll actually be able to talk more. She hasn't had a cell phone with her in Houston, and, of course, it's been a hectic, hectic week for her. (Yes, I can be that selfish.)

Work is work. Most days go pretty well. Yesterday was a total Monday, every one in the office was just a little on edge. There are rumors of changes here and there in the office, but I'm learning to take things in stride. It's hard, but I'm trying to get better about not letting things that haven't happened yet frustrate me. I'm also working hard at not getting mad/frustrated about things I have no control over. Yes, that includes traffic. Ugh. Yesterday on the drive home I discovered the route I take home has a nifty little detour going. No warning, no idea how long that part of the highway will be closed. It's little consolation that I have two alternate routes - both add about five or six miles to an already long drive home.

On top of it all, it's the long, dog days of summer, and I hate hot weather. And with the sun shining all the damn time, it just makes the days seem way too long.

Looks vs Voice

Apparently, on Supernova, they're not looking for a "lead singer" so much as a "front man" - so it's a lot more about acting all energetic on stage than it is about vocal abilities. Which is fine, if that's what they want. But I think the competition would look completely different if they all had to sing acapella one week.

Good for her

Buffalo's leading lady of rock music, Ani DiFranco, was given the National Organization of Women's Woman of Courage award Friday afternoon at the group's 40th annual convention in the Albany Crowe Plaza Hotel ballroom.

Upon accepting the award, DiFranco surprised the crowd by announcing that she is 12 weeks pregnant, due in February. The father, New Orleans native Mike Napolitano, produced her upcoming album "Reprieve."

Maybe she'll make some happier music soon.

Two

Two good things today. Motorcycle riding and Deadwood. The rest, well, it's just life I guess.

Bleh

Nerdstar made it to Houston today. Tomorrow they'll spend getting everything ready for the funeral on Saturday. Then she'll have a few days to spend with Grandpa before heading back to Japan on Wednesday.

It's frustrating not being there with her. But her family just really wouldn't want me there. And this just isn't one of those situations where you make waves and make points about things. It just seems wrong that she's going through such an important event in her life, and I feel like I'm only peripherally involved.

Not much else going on other than that. I'm ready for her to be home. Mostly because it sucks having to do everything by myself. As I've said before, I could never be a single mother. It almost takes more energy than I have these days to come home from work at feed the pets and walk the dog and cook some dinner. The only good thing is that at least there's no time table to deal with. I do it all whenever I get my butt up to do it.

Well, ok, and I really miss snuggle time!

Patrice Pike

I've kinda been watching Supernova, but after the first "kick off" and them having the wrong guy leave, I wasn't too impressed.

Tonight I finally caught Patrice Pike perform - interesting. She's a local Austin chick I saw perform at least 10 years ago when she was still with Sister 7. In fact, I still have a couple of their songs on my iPod. (I think at least 40% of the songs on my iPod are from Austin musicians!)

Anyway. I can't say Patrice was ever my favorite Austin singer chick. When I listen to enough of her music, after a while her voice just always seemed kinda monotone.

That said, if someone with her extensive performance and recording background doesn't win - hmmmmm.

Here's the best in-depth interview (from 2002) I've found with her. I'd always assumed she was gay, in this article she says she's bi...

Anyway, guess I'll have to watch the show and see how long she lasts. I'm not sure the boys in the band really want a woman fronting them, but you never know.

Go

You can read Nerdstar's entry about her grandmother's passing here, and leave comments of support.

Update

Well, Nerdstar's Grandma died about 1:30 in the morning. The only consolation was that it was not slow and painful. Nerdstar's been talking with her sister and aunt about everything, trying to cope. She's going to be able to catch a plane out in the next day or two and head to Houston. Her and her chain of command are trying to figure out the best way to take leave, and it may end up just being that they cancel her orders all together and she doesn't have to go back to Japan. We'll know more in the next 24 hours.

She's dreaded this day for a long, long time. It's frustating to be so far apart while she's so sad.

Sad

My poor Nerdstar just called. Her grandma had what they think was a stroke a couple of days ago, and now the prognosis is looking bleak. It's hard for Nerdstar to really know the particulars, getting info third and fourth hand. And of course, it's all complicated for her being all the way in Japan right now. The Army has emergency leave, but it's not clear yet if she will be granted it or for how long. And for all kinds of reasons (having to do with my work and her family), I won't be able to meet up with her down in Houston.

Her sister had just had her last day at her job and was in the process of starting her move down to Houston, so at least she'll be able to be there with/for grandpa if the worst should happen.

So please keep Nerdstar and her family in your thoughts and prayers. She's incredibly sad. Grandma has come through several tough illnesses in the past eight or nine years, but...

Any Takers?

One thing about the current situation in the Middle East - you can bet your last dollar that Kim Jong Il is PISSED that Israel and company have stolen his limelight!!

Slowly but Surely

I'm slowly getting back into the groove of things. Although, I woke up about 3 a.m. then at 4:15 or so after still not getting back to sleep, got up and surfed around the net some. Come 6 a.m. I tried to sleep until the alarm was going to go off at 7:30, no such luck. So about 6:30 I was making pancakes and finally bringing the dog food up from the car.

On top of all that lack of sleep, I went in an hour early today, so it was a 9 hour day. On top of that, we've got a new class of phlebotomy students that my coworkers and I help train. I try very hard to be patient and helpful, you know, since it was a few short months ago I was in their position, but it is really rather nerve-wracking watching a newbie draw someone's blood. Thankfully the patients who agree to let a student draw their blood are usually very patient as well.

I'm pretty ready for Nerdstar to come home. She's going to take a couple of weeks off and catch up on sleep and pet the fur kids and clean and cook when she does come back. The only downside of working until 6 p.m. is getting home at 7 and not feeling like cooking dinner - but there aren't any decent restaurants around here to stop at on the way home either. It'll be nice to have a cook around!

Nerdstar would be blogging, but now that she's been switched from one set of bosses and jobs to a different set of bosses and jobs (trust me, it's all a mess!) she doesn't even have a computer 90% of the time. Instead she's getting to do things like equipment inspections, room inspections, guard duty, and I think Friday they have to go climb Mt. Fuji. Fun Fun Fun!!

In the world

After having flown internationally, and while in Japan spending countless amounts of time taking subways all over Tokyo, I am so sad to have heard about the plane crash on a runway in Russia on the same day I arrived home, and today of the terrible, terrible bombings of the subways in India. That these events took place in countries far from home doesn't lessen the sadness.

On a brighter note, Pundita posts an entry about how cell phones are changing life in the Congo. It relates to posts made about a year and a half ago about how cell phones were helping people in North Korea. (I'm too lazy today to find the relevant links in my archives.)

My hope for North Korea is that someday soon it's horrible, evil leader will be dead and gone and it's poor, brainwashed people will begin the process of learning freedom. I don't know how a country full of such totally cut off people will begin or go through that process, but I pray they can and do.

Room

Room

Home

It's always so nice to be home again!! The cats survived. I worry about them the whole long drive home. The neighbor guy was really sweet and had the litter boxes clean before I got home - that's way above and beyond the call of duty!

Well, the trek home only took a couple of days... the 3 hour bus ride from Camp Zama to the airport. Tokyo's Narita airport is really nice. Of course, I had us get there way too early, so we had time to hang out before I had to head to the plane. The flight home was only 11 hours, instead of the 13 to get there. They took a more direct flight over the ocean. I was thankful! It seems it's pretty impossible for me to sleep on flights. If I ever had a 10+ hour flight again, it's tylenol pm for me. So, I was awake for 24 hours for the second time in a week. I went to bed about 6:30 last night and woke up at 11:30, 1:30 and then for good this morning at 8:30. Then it was time for the 9 hour drive. I was happy it was a cloudy slightly rainy day to drive instead of unrelenting sunshine.

The cats are going to be clingy for a few days, but that's ok with me.

Now I start the countdown until Nerdstar gets her butt back home - 45 more days.

I think I got comments working again - feel free to leave some.

Last Day

I'm sad to be ending this trip. Today is my last full day here at Camp Zama with Nerdstar, tomorrow I begin the long trek home. There's the 3 hour bus ride to the airport, then the 13 hour flight to Dallas, then I'm hoping to make the 9 hour drive back to KC on Sunday. I don't have to be back at work until Tuesday, so I need to be back home Monday to get things like taking the mail off hold and some grocery shopping done before then.

I'm also sad to leave Nerdstar here. She should be coming home with me!

This has to have been my best vacation ever, though it's hard to pin point exactly why. Somehow over the past several weeks I've found a new patience in life, a new state of zen for lack of a better term. I have no idea why or how, but I'm very, very thankful for it. It's made me a much better traveler - as only Nerdstar can testify!

And while it's extremely unlikely we'll ever make our way back to Japan and Tokyo, I've truly enjoyed being here. I decided it doesn't matter to me if the politness is false (and I wouldn't say I'm convinced it is), it's still better than rudeness as a way of dealing with strangers.

I'm sorry I haven't found a way to get comments allowed. It seems to be all or nothing - either I turn part of MT blacklist off and get tons of spam emails, or I leave it on and it doesn't allow any. I'll try to look into it more when I'm back home. Always feel free to email any comments!

Days 5 and 6

Tuesday was our last day in Tokyo and we were both sad to leave. We spent the morning trying to see the Imperial Palace, but weren't successful. I think if we'd done a little research on tours of it before heading over we might have had luck, but oh well.

It took us quite a while to travel back to Camp Zama. Our subway train was delayed about 25 or so minutes, apparently there was an accident in the subway system, but we never did read or hear anything about it in the news.

It's so hard to really describe Tokyo. I know we barely scratched the surface of such a big city. The obvious comparisons are between New York City and Tokyo, but there are many differences as well. Tokyo doesn't have the frantic feel to it, even though it's probably more densly populated.

I do know one thing, if I were to live here for a year without a car, I'd lose tons of weight! We walked miles and miles around various parts of the city. Not to mention all the steps up and down getting into and out of subway stations.

I think it was actually more relaxing not speaking the language. I didn't have to tune out news or conversations and such. But we both love watching Japanese tv! Even without understanding a word it's very entertaining.

Nerdstar had to be back at work yesterday, so I'm spending a couple more days here at Zama with her before heading back home. I always worry about the cats when I'm gone for this long.

It's been interesting being here the past 24-48 hours with all the North Korea missle mess going on. It certainly puts it in a different perspective being where the missles could actually reach!

It's also interesting being 14 hours ahead of the US.

Days 3 and 4

Two more very long, humid days here in Tokyo. We have mastered the subway system, thankfully.

Yesterday was a nice breakfast, laundry, then we headed to this seven floor megastore for everything possible. Prices here are the same or maybe a little higher, the big difference is all the millions of choices. If there were 20 digital cameras for sale, there were 200! There is no shame in crass commercialism here!

From there we ended up at the huge intersection in Shibuya, the one shown on various travel shows. It really was something to see. We sat there for quite a while and watched it all mesmerized!

This morning we had an adventure trying to get more cash. We are both a little surprised at how many places are cash only here. I have gotten so used to never carrying cash. Because our bank in the US is just a credit union in Austin, our pulse atm card just will not work anywhere. Thankfully, there was a bank in a different part of town that we could get a cash advance from Nerdstar's credit card.

That taken care of, we found ourselves in a Roppongi, a cool part of town. It had this tall tower that had a museum at the top and a Pixar artwork exhibition that was really neat. Then we had a Chinese lunch.

Our biggest adventure of the day was finding a public bath house and going. It's just what it sounds like - a public bath. Yep, we got naked around a bunch of other women and sat in the hottest water ever! It was oddly refreshing. It was in an apparently ritzy neighborhood. I have never seen so many really expensive cars drive by in such a short amount of time.

One of the coolest things about Tokyo is that it just seems endless. If you never tired of walking, there would still be too many streets with too many wonderful little shops to look in.

Other than that, it's the land of skinny, skinny people and very impractical footware!

More to come from Camp Zama!

Day Two

It's been another good, long day here. I woke up about 6:30, Nerdstar about 7:30. Japan's oldest zoo is in the park a few blocks from our hotel, so that is where we headed today. It was a lovely zoo. And instead of seeing lions having sex, today it was the tigers! Then we wandered over to these streets that have all kinds of little vendors.

So far it has been easy enough getting around everywhere. Most signs and such are in English as well as Japanese, but good map reading skills come in very handy!

I'm glad to be at least a little used to humidy, although this rivals even Houston! It rains a little most days, but it's not too bad.

I keep thinking I should find it more strange being the only white person around most of the time, but I don't. I guess that's because of the weekends spent in China town in Houston with Nerdstar and her family.

We got back to our room about 5:30 and fell asleep, thinking it would be a short nap before dinner. Uh, dinner ended up being at midnight!

Not sure where we will head to tomorrow. I always like just wandering around places, seeing whatever there is to see.