Beth's Contradictory Brain

Weekend Getaway

Some friends of ours have had a tradition of heading up to Skyland Resort in the Shenandoah Mountains for their last night of the season, and they invited us to tag along.

We met up with them yesterday afternoon and went hiking for about an hour or so. They have a dog, Daisy, that looks something like Ramen and they get along really well. For the first time, we let Ramen off his leash during the hike and he was just wonderful! Poor dog, he's 9 years old and finally having some fun in his life!

We drove up to the resort from there in the dark, so we didn't really get to enjoy all the views. They have a decent restaurant up there, although, it being their last night before closing until April, they were out of some stuff. Then there were local bluegrass (sorta/mostly) musicians.

We knew it was supposed to be rainy today, and at that elevation I was hoping for snow. Instead we woke up to ice everywhere and the roads within, and up to, the resort were closed. Uh oh.

Thankfully, after a decent breakfast, they said it looked like things would clear enough for us to all get out of there around noon. It did and we did and it was even a nice drive home considering I'm sure there is going to be a lot more traffic in our neck of the woods and the night goes on.

We'll probably head back up there in the early summer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is no rational explanation for it, but I am more at peace and optimistic and thankful this year than I remember feeling in the past.

I'm even trying to download some decent versions of traditional Christmas carols. Ugh. This from someone who generally believes Halloween and Thanksgiving are a one day holidays, and there should be no hint of Christmas at all until after Thanksgiving. Even then, maybe we should only have them every other year. They just seem to lose their meaning when "the holidays" last for three months every year.

Anyway. Can't say that life is significantly different this Thanksgiving than last. Once again, though, I'm hopeful this time next year will be different. That same old dream of a house and a baby.

I know things are hard for a lot of people at this time. I hate that.

So I pray you enjoy this Thanksgiving with loved ones. And that you truly have a list of things to be thankful for.

Enjoy the turkey and the football and the naps and the friends and family at your table.

Men and Thanksgiving

As I wrote about the other day, I spend a good five or more minutes talking with each patient. Naturally, the topic this week is Thanksgiving. A lot of our patients are older and are going out to eat somewhere.

What's fun is that all of the women are up on the plans.

Then I ask the men:
"Are you ready for Thanksgiving?"
"Sure."
"Are you going to cook?"
"Uh, no. My wife is."
Are you going to help by cleaning the house?"
"Um, no."
"So your job is basically to stay out of the way?"
"Pretty much."
And some of them seem nervous about even that part.

To be fair, I think I had two who said they were at least going to cook the turkey.

Another Good Weekend

Now that I'm working again, I really, really appreciate weekends again!

Yesterday we did our part for the economy and spent about $100 on a couple of pounds of coffee, four pair of socks, and some new insoles for my tennis shoes I work in. Yes, we're coffee and sock snobs!

We had a good lunch at a place we hadn't been to in a while.

Then we had the maintenance man turn our pilot light for the fireplace back on and show us how to get it to heat the room - it really does! I turned the whole thing off when we first moved in because I didn't want to pay for the gas to use it. We'll see how much it costs us this month, and if it's too much I know how to turn it back off. When we eventually buy a house, one of the "musts" is that it have a wood burning fireplace.

Ramen dog thinks that any day we're both home means it's dog park day. So today was his day. We took him to the park and then to get a bath - he's so shiny and fluffy!!

We still gotta get some groceries, including a turkey for Thanksgiving. Yummy!

Hope Deferred

President-elect Barack Obama will not move for months, and perhaps not until 2010, to ask Congress to end the military's decades-old ban on open homosexuals in the ranks, two people who have advised the Obama transition team on this issue say.

I imagine if Obama makes this change cleanly at any time in his term, he'll be fondly remembered. Still, his apparent unwillingness to be bold on something he considers a matter of both justice and wise policy--and that he has clear political support on--should be disconcerting to his fans.

Phlebotomy Advice

More than ever, I've realized that one of my most important skills in my job is that of making small talk, chit-chatting with patients.

Yes, being good with the needle is THE most important skill, but I think that might be easier to learn.

Making small talk is important because it takes the patient's mind off of the needle. Even when they know I'm trying to distract them, once the needle is out and I'm bandaging their arm, they saw, wow, I didn't know you were already done.

Now, you know how little patience I sometimes have with whiney or rude patients, so sucking it up and talking to them about their day, or the weather, or the weekend past, or the weekend upcoming, or the book they have with them, or an upcoming event, etc, etc, etc, really can be an art form.

I haven't been at this new job long, and already they had the "obnoxious" folks over to me too often. But I'm getting better at it. And you know what, they usually leave in a little better mood.

Because how hard is it when you're verifying their info to next ask, "How's your day been?" And then listening to the answer. Trust me, sick people will always have an answer.

I think

this video pretty much speaks for itself. Sad, sad, sad. I know this would probably hold true in my current job as well. There are three Republicans and six Democrats. Us three Republicans know a LOT more about Obama/Biden.

Dude, Roll Over

I'm not the lightest of sleepers, but I do wake up a couple of times a night. Nerdstar could sleep through a tornado followed by an earthquake.

Last night I was actually woken up by our boy cat, Little Man, SNORING!!

His favorite place is in between us. Failing that - or getting his big butt shoved out from between us - he'll snuggle the outer edge side of one of us. Last night he must have been super warm and snuggly up against Nerdstar and fell deep asleep. It's not the first time he's snored, but it was certainly the loudest!

Nerdstar didn't hear a thing until I woke her up to make sure it wasn't her before waking up the cat.

Quiet Weekend

When I left work Friday, I had every intention of doing absolutely nothing all weekend - and I reached my goal.

Well, ok, there was a trip to the grocery store so we could cook dinner Saturday night. And I did have to return an overdue library book. But that was it.

Very nice!!

Before Change Changes Again

I wanted to look up some info on the inauguration, because everyone I work with is trying to figure out how to go...

I saw that The Agenda is back on Change.gov. But even just under civil rights there are a lot of changes, specifically - thankfully - regarding gay rights. Here's what's new:

Expand Hate Crimes Statutes: In 2004, crimes against LGBT Americans constituted the third-highest category of hate crime reported and made up more than 15 percent of such crimes. Barack Obama cosponsored legislation that would expand federal jurisdiction to include violent hate crimes perpetrated because of race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, or physical disability. As a state senator, Obama passed tough legislation that made hate crimes and conspiracy to commit them against the law.

Fight Workplace Discrimination: Barack Obama supports the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and believes that our anti-discrimination employment laws should be expanded to include sexual orientation and gender identity. While an increasing number of employers have extended benefits to their employees' domestic partners, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace occurs with no federal legal remedy. Obama also sponsored legislation in the Illinois State Senate that would ban employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples: Barack Obama supports full civil unions that give same-sex couples legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples. Obama also believes we need to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and enact legislation that would ensure that the 1,100+ federal legal rights and benefits currently provided on the basis of marital status are extended to same-sex couples in civil unions and other legally-recognized unions. These rights and benefits include the right to assist a loved one in times of emergency, the right to equal health insurance and other employment benefits, and property rights.

Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage: Barack Obama voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2006 which would have defined marriage as between a man and a woman and prevented judicial extension of marriage-like rights to same-sex or other unmarried couples.
Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell: Barack Obama agrees with former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili and other military experts that we need to repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. The key test for military service should be patriotism, a sense of duty, and a willingness to serve. Discrimination should be prohibited. The U.S. government has spent millions of dollars replacing troops kicked out of the military because of their sexual orientation. Additionally, more than 300 language experts have been fired under this policy, including more than 50 who are fluent in Arabic. Obama will work with military leaders to repeal the current policy and ensure it helps accomplish our national defense goals.

Expand Adoption Rights: Barack Obama believes that we must ensure adoption rights for all couples and individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation. He thinks that a child will benefit from a healthy and loving home, whether the parents are gay or not.

Promote AIDS Prevention: In the first year of his presidency, Barack Obama will develop and begin to implement a comprehensive national HIV/AIDS strategy that includes all federal agencies. The strategy will be designed to reduce HIV infections, increase access to care and reduce HIV-related health disparities. Obama will support common sense approaches including age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception, combating infection within our prison population through education and contraception, and distributing contraceptives through our public health system. Obama also supports lifting the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. Obama has also been willing to confront the stigma -- too often tied to homophobia -- that continues to surround HIV/AIDS. He will continue to speak out on this issue as president.

Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS: In the United States, the percentage of women diagnosed with AIDS has quadrupled over the last 20 years. Today, women account for more than one quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses. Barack Obama introduced the Microbicide Development Act, which will accelerate the development of products that empower women in the battle against AIDS. Microbicides are a class of products currently under development that women apply topically to prevent transmission of HIV and other infections.

The Forsaken

Over the past months, maybe almost a year now, I've ended up reading several books related to WWII.

It's taken me a few weeks, but I've finally finished reading The Forsaken: An American Tragedy in Stalin's Russia by Tim Tzoulidis.

It's something I had never heard anything about. During the Depression, Russia was just starting it's Five Year Plan and there were thousands of Americans who believed the propaganda and immigrated to Russia to find jobs. Almost none of them survived The Terror.

The world knows so much about Hitler and the millions he killed. Stalin was so much worse. The Terror and gulag systems lasted from the 30s to at least the late 50s.

But the saddest part of this story to read was how the media and our own government were so complicit in abandoning up to hundreds of thousands of Americans over in Russia.

I've got two more books about the Gulag system to read.

I can't explain my interest in these topics. My whole adult life I've pondered if such things could happen in this country. And even now my answer is while it's technically possible - I don't believe it ever will.

Fun

It's always fun when I'm trying to get ahold of Nerdstar and I call her cell phone only to hear it ringing in the house.

Work is Work

Damn I'm tired. Unfortunately, this job does not go well when performed tired. Being tired generally means making little mistakes. But a little mistake like drawing one tube instead of two can be a big problem later. The upside is that I know when I'm tired and I check and double check everything all day. But that also makes me more tired. Also, being grumpy does not go over well with patients. Hell, they're really sick people, who am I to be grumpy??

Being on my feet 7 or so hours a day has been draining physically, leading to aches that lead to poor sleep, leading to more tiredness.

My body is adjusting slowly. Having a very down weekend coming up will also help tremendously.

All that said, I do like this job. There are cliques and personality conflicts I'm trying to navigate, but everyone does their fair share - and that's good enough for me.

What Happened?

To Obama's whole Agenda section on Change.gov?

There used to be 61 or so pages and twenty five or so different categories. Now there's simply this:

The Agenda

The Obama Administration has a comprehensive and detailed agenda to carry out its policies. The principal priorities of the Obama Administration include: a plan to revive the economy, to fix our health care, education, and social security systems, to define a clear path to energy independence, to end the war in Iraq responsibly and finish our mission in Afghanistan, and to work with our allies to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, among many other domestic and foreign policy objectives.

Good and Bad Luck

We had a really nice time this getaway weekend.

Traffic getting out of DC at 2 on Friday afternoon was crazy, but we made it to hear Kevin Smith in Red Bank, NJ just about on time. He did a Q&A for over four hours. It was cool to watch and hear him in person after listening to his podcasts for a while now. The theater was hot though, and that sucked. What sucked even more was that grown ass people were not able to sit in their damn seats and kept getting up to go pee, drink, jack off, whatever. It was annoying.

Then it was off to Atlantic City

We left home with $440 (the $40 for tolls and such while driving) and we came home with $430 or so. So the only thing this trip cost was the price of the hotel room, which was paid online a month ago, so doesn't feel like lost money.

We had terrible luck to start yesterday at the craps table. Then I spent two hours playing poker and ended up $10 ahead. I started with $200, was up to maybe $350, down to about $75, so was very happy to end up with $210!

Then we played some more craps and I got extremely lucky. Nerdstar started it off by hitting an 11 when I needed her to. Then, there's a bet called high/low which is the two and twelve. It pays 30 to 1. I put five dollars on each a couple of times and HIT twice in 3 rolls. That's $145 for essentially a $10 bet - twice. Crazy!!

I went from $100 to over $500. Cool. So we went to the buffet!

Unfortunately, over dinner I realized that they had only paid me $75 for each of those hits instead of $145. Fuck. We went back over to the tables and talked to the pit boss. He ended up giving me a $100 comp voucher. I figured that was fair enough since I was partly responsible. I should have been paying more attention to the payouts. He said that although it said it was valid for 24 hours, whenever we came back they'd issue a current one.

Overnight, when I couldn't sleep on the board stiff bed, I got to thinking about the voucher and such.

None of the restaurants we could drop $100 on dinner and be happy with would even be open before we wanted to start driving back. Uh oh. And I wasn't convinced they'd honor a 24 hour voucher months from now.

Because we were even on $, we had the $400 we started with, I figured what the hell. We'll go get some breakfast, see what's up with the voucher, and gamble a little more.

Good thing. The casino restaurant said that whatever portion of the comp not used was "lost". No change given. Ugh. So we went back to talk with a different pit boss. We ended up with $50 comp for today, and one in the system for next time we're there. That worked out ok.

Then we had shit luck at blackjack and roulette. At first we didn't have good luck at craps either. Then, I got totally lucky and hit that same $145 bet TWICE again! Unbelievable.

That's how we broke even.

I'm very happy to be home and about to sleep in our nice, comfy bed!!

Weekend Getaway

Many moons ago Nerdstar bought us tickets to see Kevin Smith up in New Jersey. So that's where we're headed today. Should be a nice drive seeing the last few leaves on all the trees.

From there we head over to Atlantic City for a little gambling and buffet action tomorrow.

Then back home Sunday.

Should be a lovely weekend!!

Nothing Gay on Change.gov

We found 0 results for “dadt” on Change.gov

While there are a lot of good things in Obama's section on defense on his website - there is nothing about DADT.

There's also nothing about DOMA or repealing it or anything else about gays/gay rights on this website.

We found 0 results for “gay”

These information sections seem pretty well thought out and lengthy, so if he had any intention of tackling DADT, or gay marriage or any other related issues, I believe it would have been mentioned.

Oh, but he did manage to write something about... Sportsmen

Barack Obama did not grow up hunting and fishing, but he recognizes the great conservation legacy of America's hunters and anglers and has great respect for the passion that hunters and anglers have for their sport. America's hunters and anglers are a key constituency that must take an active role and have a powerful voice in this coalition.

Biggest Government Ever?

This is all straight from Change.gov the Homeland Security section. This doesn't even look at his ideas for education or health care.

Is that what you voted for?

Barack Obama will establish a $2 billion Global Education Fund to work to eliminate the global education deficit and offer an alternative to extremist schools.

He will expand our foreign service, and develop the capacity of our civilian aid workers to work alongside the military. Who are civilian aid workers?

Barack Obama will appoint a deputy national security advisor to be in charge of coordinating all U.S. programs aimed at reducing the risk of nuclear terrorism and weapons proliferation.

Barack Obama will declare the cyber infrastructure a strategic asset and will establish the position of national cyber advisor who will report directly to the president and will be responsible for coordinating federal agency efforts and development of national cyber policy.

Barack Obama will improve our intelligence system by creating a senior position to coordinate domestic intelligence gathering; establishing a grant program to support thousands more state and local level intelligence analysts and increasing our capacity to share intelligence across all levels of government. I thought that's what the FBI/CIA were for.

the Privacy and Civil Liberties Board needs to be substantially reformed and empowered to safeguard against an erosion in American civil liberties. As president, Barack Obama will support efforts to strengthen the Board with subpoena powers and reporting responsibilities, will give the Board a robust mandate designed to protect American civil liberties and will demand transparency from the Board to ensure accountability. WTF?

Overseas, Barack Obama will establish a Shared Security Partnership Program to invest $5 billion over three years to improve cooperation between U.S. and foreign intelligence and law enforcement agencies. again - WTF?

create a National Family Locator System to help families locate loved ones after a disaster. As president, Obama will further improve coordination between all levels of government, create better evacuation plan guidelines, ensure prompt federal assistance to emergency zones, and increase medical surge capacity.

He will appoint a National Chief Technology Officer who will have the responsibility to ensure that the current non-interoperable plans at the federal, state, and local levels are combined, funded, implemented and effective.

Barack Obama will support the virtual and physical infrastructure and manpower necessary to secure our borders and keep our nation safe. He's going to build a fence along the border?

Barack Obama will address the infrastructure challenge by creating a National Infrastructure Reinvestment Bank to expand and enhance, not supplant, existing federal transportation investments. The Bank will receive an infusion of federal money, $60 billion over 10 years, to provide financing to transportation infrastructure projects across the nation.

Obama will establish a Grid Modernization Commission to facilitate adoption of Smart Grid practices to improve efficiency and security of our electricity grid. He will also build on his work in the U.S. Senate to ensure that the federal government prioritizes strengthening our critical infrastructure.

Change.Gov

The Obama team has set up a pretty decent website with lots of information about their plans. Change.gov

I'm not sure who wrote all of this or when, but there are a lot of very detailed plans - some of which sound good to me, some of which I have questions about. If you scroll to the bottom of the home page, there is a list under "The Agenda" where these plans are. Mostly I wonder where he'll get the money for most of it. Especially when I read the segment on education.

Anyway.

Only because of my faith in God am I suspending my anger and disappointment and am trying very hard to at least "wait and see" what really transpires.

Prop 8

Did not fail because of white, conservative voters, it appears it lost because of black and Latino Obama voters:

In California, it looks like Prop 8 has a good chance of passing. With 92 percent of precincts reporting, the gay marriage ban is winning 52 percent to 48 percent. And if it does pass, it will be because of black and, to a lesser extent, Latino voters.

According to exit polls, whites opposed the amendment 53-47. But blacks supported it 70-30, and Latinos supported it 51-49. The polls have blacks at 10 percent of the electorate for this issue, with Latinos at 19 percent and whites at 63 percent. (Asians, at six percent, opposed the proposition 53-47.)

Exhausted Thoughts

I am completely exhausted. I got up at 4 a.m. as planned. Got to the polling place at 4:50 as planned. Got home at 11:45 p.m. - not as planned. Our voting machine temporarily crashed and it took a long time to get it back and get all the vote tallies - all our numbers added up at the end of the night.

I am not happy with the outcome of this election - BUT...

For several days now as the election neared, I realized just how important Obama's election would be to so many of the people in this country. Decent, honest, hard working people, who have nothing to do with the media, or what I believe is Obama's desire for socialism in this country. And I realized how sad I would be - for them - if he lost.

And so in some way, there is a part of me that is truly happy for those supporters of his. (Supporters like Oprah can kiss my ass.)

I believe none of us know who Obama really is, or how he will be as president. I have to maintain faith in God and this country. Which tonight is admittedly hard to do. But in another four years is another election. And as long as those elections, and changes of power in this country continue to be peaceful - I can deal with it.

24 Hours

24 hours from now the polls will be closing here on the east coast.

I will probably be up for 24 hours starting at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning.

I have to be at the polling place before 5 a.m. so we can take our oath as election officials AT 5 a.m. Then we have an hour to get the place ready for the first voter at 6 a.m.

The polls here in Virginia close at 7 p.m. and I hope and pray a judge somewhere doesn't decide to extend the hours.

As long as someone is in line at 7 p.m. they will get to vote. I have no idea how many people will be in line at that time, or how long it will take to process them all. Our election chief dude says it then takes at least an hour and a half to close up everything, make sure all the numbers match, and sign all the necessary paperwork.

I do not get to leave the building until everything is finished tomorrow night. I'm packing lunch and dinner!

I'm nervous and excited about it all. Mostly I can't wait for it all to be over. But I'm also cautiously optimistic about McCain's chances tomorrow.

I'm also aware of just how upset, sad and disappointed Obama supporters will be if he loses. And I'll feel bad about that. But I truly pray he does.

Another Good Weekend

We had a really nice weekend. The weather has been nearly perfect.

Friday night we went to dinner and then to see Zack and Miri Make A Porno. Nerdstar's a fan of Kevin Smith, has read a couple of his books and we've both listened to his podcasts for a while now. We'd been looking forward to the movie. It was pretty good. Some parts were just sort of ho-hum and others had us really laughing. What makes it all more fun for us to watch is that Nerdstar's lifelong dream has been to make pornos. Seriously. Not necessarily to be IN them, but to make them.

Saturday was home cooked breakfast day, then off to the dog park with Ramen dog. Last weekend was supposed to be the Halloween party at the dog park, but it rained all day last Saturday, so we found out when we got there they had moved it to yesterday. There were a ton of dogs there. A few were in costumes and such. We've often joked about how Ramen used to be homeless, using drugs, and ending up in porn (yes there's a theme there) before we found him at the shelter. But it would be pretty hard to turn any of those things into a suitable costume. We joked we could put him in ratty clothes and give him one of those kid-sized grocery carts. But I don't think anyone would really get it.

Then we took the motorcycle out for a spin. That's always nice. We ended the day with a decent dinner out.

Today was lazy day. Laundry, a trip to the library, a trip to the grocery store.

We just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was ok. Decent but not the best we've seen.