Beth's Contradictory Brain

Hard Choices

Well, we met with our real estate dude, he's cool, kind of a doofus. As long as he gets things done that's cool. We spent over an hour looking at listings and then we took those, weeded them out, and spent 3 hours driving around looking at the neighborhoods and exteriors. We're narrowing it down to three or four to go see interiors with him Thurs. evening.

Now, there were 3 about five miles from where we live now. They were all cool outside, but pretty shabby inside when we looked through the windows. Ugh.

There was a list of about 12 in an ultra suburban town 25 minutes south of here. South is not in the direction of Nerdstar's work :-( We looked at four and would be happy with any of them if the interiors live up to the photos.

But, I have a feeling the commute would end sucking after, oh, a month.

So, I looked at a bunch of listings for a city up in Maryland that we've heard is decent. There seem to be nicer, bigger houses for maybe $10K to $25K less. We're going to get up tomorrow and go check out the neighborhoods. Unfortunately, our real estate man doesn't do Maryland, but I'll call him Monday and get a name of someone who does from him.

It's kinda hard to prioritize things - most house for the money, location, commute.

We're only one day into this, but really, I feel pretty optimistic. All we need is one house that's right for us.

More Updates

Woohoo!! We got our pre-approval letter, for the amount we wanted, to take to the realtor tomorrow. What's good is that it's an amount we're capable of affording at our current income levels and this letter will help the realtor to hopefully not pressure us into more. In fact, I'd be very, very happy to spend at least $50K less.

Now, this amount in this area will probably get is a decent fixer upper. Not that we know how to do any fixing uping. But I'm setting very low expectations.

One potential irony right now is that if Nerdstar's medical stuff doesn't disqualify her from OBC - she'll be buying a house she won't get to live in for the first six months of ownership. Which also means it hopefully would look a lot better by the time she got to settle into it.

She did send off her medical info to hopefully the right people today. Not sure how long it'll take to get an update from them.

To really avoid all that - pray I knock her up soon!

Progress

Just over year after we bought my parents a computer and got them to at least venture onto the slow lane of the internets - I've finally received a couple of emails from my Dad/The Kid. Wonders never cease.

Nada

No updates on anything. Did the whole world really freeze out there?? No word from mortgage man about our pre-approval letter he was supposed to email yesterday. I'll give him until noon tomorrow and then follow up. Called and emailed my manager lady today - nada. Nerdstar is a lot closer to having orders for OBC in early April - she can't get any answers from anyone on her medical status. This isn't fun.

Watching White House Press Briefings

Yes, I'm that bored, but I'm also that interested in what the hell the O administration is up to.

So here's a little update about the stimulus package:

A reporter today asked why the bill wasn't available on the White House website in spite of O's promise of transparency - namely this that I quoted the other day: "As president, Obama will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days." (Unfortunately the reporter didn't seem to know that the bill can be found online - just not on the White House site.) What this means according to the Press Secretary is that a bill can pass the House and Senate before the O administration will put it online. The problem with that is - well - at that point a bill is already passed and ready for signature, it's not like O's going to start vetoing things because us little citizens have concerns during those 5 days any bill might be available online.

I keep thinking that O is a much better legal mind that I would have given him credit for. He's certainly good at writing and using loopholes.

A different reporter tried to ask about the real cost of the stimulus packing - saying that the total cost must include the billions in interest that will have to be paid in the future. Mr. Press Secretary tried to wiggle out of it, but ended up using buying a house as an analogy saying "what is the cost of a house you buy?" implying it's the amount of the mortgage, NOT the total cost you end up paying over the total time of the loan. Bad math, misleading math.

I feel like this stimulus package is like an earthquake out in the middle of the ocean that's going to produce a tsunami across this country that will have terrible results of a much, much bigger government resulting in a huge loss of personal freedom, and a national debt that will cripple us.

Updates

Interesting developments this evening.

We had to take Ramen dog to get his wound checked out at our regular vet. We've seen this vet lady three or four times before, she's nice. I had on a Baylor University sweatshirt that she noticed - she went to Baylor, too! We overlapped, but I never really knew that many people there. Nerdstar went there, but at a totally different time. So we all got to talking about living in TX vs living here. She really likes it here, but has family in Austin and gets to go there more often than we do. (She misses breakfast tacos, too!)

Anyway. Come to find out she's just started the process of applying for a mortgage and looking for a house in the same areas and price range we are. So she gave us the name of her realtor! That's cool because we were just praying last night that God would provide people to help us with all this. Once we get the pre-approval letter, which should happen tomorrow, we'll make an appointment with the realtor dude.

BUT...

Nerdstar also got a phone call from a company who's been wanting to hire her for a while now, but couldn't get it all together. The job is located up in the north east corner of MD, between Baltimore and Wilmington, DE. We looked online at houses in that area and they seem nicer and cheaper than here, and they seem to have really big yards - which we would love.

The problem - well, although they're willing to pay relocation costs, which would help tremendously, the salary they're offering is $10K less per year. That's a big drop, even if our mortgage would be 2/3 of what it would be here. She's going to talk to them and see if there's anyway they could only drop the salary $5K a year.

Then there's my job crap. I emailed the boss lady last Thursday about working - didn't hear from her at all. I called this afternoon and spoke with one of the techs and left a message, but nada. What sucks is that I wish they'd lay me off so I could apply for unemployment, I'd make more money than working four or five days a month like is happening now. But I realized until this house/mortgage thing is finalized, it's better to at least be on someone's payroll. Although, my pay isn't really enough to be a real factor in our financing.

Anyway. We'll see what happens on all fronts this week. Trying not to let it explode my head.

Local Political Invovement

No, not by me. Not yet. Once we buy a house I'll be looking into local politics.

I know that several of the bloggers I read have been involved in their local politics, or are looking to get more involved.

Kristie up in Boston has started a fascinating new website project:

Here's what I think. I think words are important. I think they form the basis for relationships, for history for every political movement. I think words create the structure of our worlds. Of our individual contexts.

Hopefully it will become more than that as well.

She's having a hard time even finding out the real street borders of her district. Crazy. Go read what's she's up to.

Read the Stimulus

In spite of this promise that was on change.gov: "Sunlight Before Signing: Too often bills are rushed through Congress and to the president before the public has the opportunity to review them. As president, Obama will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days." I know - the relevant phrase is "non-emergency".

The Stimulus Bill isn't available on whitehouse.gov.

Here is where it is.

Changes and Unknowns

I am sure that this year will end with life being different than it is now. But there are so many unknowns and lurking complications.

One thing we plan on achieving this year is buying our first house. When we moved here almost two years ago, we didn't plan on staying here long because there was no way we could afford a house - they were simply way too overpriced. Now, we're hoping they are in range.

We talked with a mortgage man this evening, and will give him the rest of the info necessary tomorrow to get a formal pre-approval letter. We're pretty sure we qualify for more money than we intend to spend.

The next part is finding a real estate agent.

But the tricky part is finding a livable house in our price range that isn't thirty miles from where Nerdstar currently works. She's currently working in Maryland, fairy close to DC. We're probably an equal distance from DC the other direction. Unfortunately, Maryland is a pretty liberal state and has really raised taxes in the past year and has dramatically fallen in it's ratings as a business friendly state. Not good. If a state can't attract and/or keep businesses, then the tax burden becomes even higher.

That leaves us looking in a fairly expensive county in Virginia. The more affordable neighborhoods are another twenty miles further from her current job.

Now, she's not happy with her current job and it's a safe bet she won't be there a year from now. But most jobs of the type she's in are located in let's say a thirty mile radius of DC. DC is not a city to buy a house in - for a lot of the same reasons as Maryland, plus more crime.

Our real estate agent is really going to earn their money with us.

Ok, so. Buying a house. One big life decision.

Add to that the possibility of Nerdstar still having to go away for a few months to Officer Basic Course. What sucks is that she's been putting this off for a long time when now it turns out it might have been better if she'd just gotten it over with a year ago. But still, if she has to, she has to - maybe in April. She's still waiting for all this medical review stuff regarding her back - but she can't get any answers about it. Now, our lease is up in May, so we're hoping for a closing date in April. It's not that I couldn't move stuff into the new house without her, it just wouldn't be any fun!

We're kinda torn about all of that, because we've decided if this whole house thing is a total failure, we'll take the money we've saved for a down payment and just head back to Austin and be poor and happy. I could get the same kind of job there, but the type of work she does in limited to the DC area. It's hard to give up the salary she makes.

We'll be happy here for a while if we get a house, and there's certainly still much I want to do and see here. But, you know how we feel about Austin.

As if all that wasn't enough fun for our little brains - we're also trying to have a baby. I don't blog much about it because there's nothing much to blog. We've had two tries at getting her preggers, no luck. What would suck most about her going to OBC is the delay in more tries, if she doesn't succeed before April.

So that's our life these days.

Unlucky

Poor Ramen dog. He had stomach/throwing up problems last week. Today, we decided to take him to the self serve dog bath place this afternoon because he got all dusty at the dog park yesterday. Unfortunately, they pretty much ran out of hot water. The dog park we used to go to before that asshole left the gate open was right down the street so we thought we'd be nice and let him run around a little instead of just taking him back home.

We had just gotten in the gates and let him run in when this big, white pit pull went from sniffing him to kind of attacking him. It ended pretty quick and we called Ramen over for Nerdstar to check him out. We thought he was ok. The stupid owner had the other dog on a leash and pretty much started leaving. He also had a girl of about five with him. There were only a couple of other guys there with little dogs and they didn't seem too concerned about the event.

About ten minutes later Ramen was running around and I could see a bare patch of skin on his side around the bottom of his ribs. Nerdstar took a look at it and we decided to take him home and clean it up.

It turned out to be a bigger gash than we thought so we took him to the animal emergency place.

He's not bothered by it at all and to watch him you wouldn't guess anything had happened.

He's at the vet's now, we should be able to pick him up in the next hour or so, they said they wouldn't keep him over night.

We'll be out about $500. Ugh. If we'd been on top of things we would have gotten a pic of the dude and his dog and gotten his name and phone #. But, we didn't. It'd be nice if he had to pay the vet bill, but oh well. It probably would be more hassle to get that achieved. What sucks is knowing that that dog will hurt other dogs, or worse, people, sometime in the future.

We're trying to take the "it could have been worse" attitude.

UPDATE: Pics here.

It only cost $453. He's groggy from the sedation. We've got pain meds and antibiotics to give him for a week. He gets the staples removed in about 10 days. Thankfully he's a mellow dog at home and we don't have to worry too much about him messing up the staples. It's just so unfair that the mellowest, most people loving dog gets hurt.

Just Wondering

Now that Hollywood has apparently found patriotism, what will their upcoming movies, music, etc be like? Because I can't even imagine it. None of their anti-war/anti-Bush movies did very well at the box office. They've spent at least the last seven years thinking they live in the worst country in the world - and overnight that changed. How will that translate into their work??

?

Now that we know Obama gets to keep his blackberry - what do you think his name on it is? I mean, do you pick something obvious like POTUS? Do you go with something like blackprez1, or TheOne? How do you even decide? You know people are out there trying everything to see if it works.

Also, do you have a pool going on how long it takes for it to get hckd?

(hi sct srvc.)

Inauguration Day

TImes like this make me acutely aware that I am no writer. History was made today. 2 million people in DC today - amazing. Only God knows the number if tears of joy shed today. A flubbed oath, but it was good to see they're all just human.

Just like New Year's and birthdays - I believe dates and times of change are significant. While I believe Obama to be a good man (I've seen no evidence to the contrary), my hope for the future is not because of him, may even be a little in spite of him, but still, my hope is great.

I pray God fills him with wisdom and courage. I pray He protects and comforts him.

New Phrase

In the spirit of the phrase mental masterbation, I offer you verbal blowjob. As in everytime anyone in the media, or elsewhere, gives Obama a verbal blowjob I throw up in my mouth a little.

I also submit that if he truly wants a new way to pay for all of the new programs he wants the government to do, he should just start charging for these verbal blowjobs - we'd have no deficit in no time!

Twitter

Ok, I finally got on Twitter. You can find me as BeththePQ. Because I can't figure out how to make the script for twitter not go across my whole page, it's been relegated to the very bottom of my website. Yes, I suck at CSS.

Inauguration and Such

I just can't help myself, my thoughts and feelings about all of this should be on my blog.

I wish so many things.

I wish I could feel the way so many of Obama's supporters feel about this "time in history". And while I sincerely try very hard to be happy for those who this event truly brings hope and a sense of fulfillment to, I cannot join in the optimism so many feel.

If I believed Obama had achieved anything of significance, other than winning the election, I would be happier about all of this. But I don't. He voted present too many times in his short tenure as US Senator. He never released his college/law school stuff to see what he achieved during those times. The things he tried to achieve in Chicago never really succeeded. Yes, he seems to be seeking out input from all quarters, and that's a good thing, I just hope it's enough.

I wish I hadn't heard so, so many of Obama's supporters call into C-Span radio the past few days, or through various other media outlets, and make known their absolute hatred for Bush, I might could take seriously the calls for coming together to support Obama now. The treatment of Bush by the far left for the past 8 years makes me burn with anger, and it makes me completely distrust what they have to say regarding, well, pretty much everything, especially their glowing praise of Obama. I also wish I believe more of the people who voted for him did so because of something other than his race.

I wish Obama hadn't defended Geithner. Obama spoke often about a new, improved Washington. But he calls a failure to pay taxes for four years an honest mistake. I don't think so. Geithner is not someone who should now be in charge of Treasury and the IRS. I'd have felt much better about the upcoming four years if Obama had come out when his transition team discovered the failures by Geithner and said this was exactly the sort of thing he was trying to change and said he'd be looking for a new Treasury Secretary.

I wish the media wasn't so orgasmic over the whole thing. I'm not saying Obama being the first Black president isn't an amazing event in this country, just that the media is out of control.

I believe that this year, '09, God is going to bring some of the most miraculous changes about for this country. Economic, scientific and medical breakthroughs unlike anything seen in history. And I'm having to fight very hard being very frustrated that Obama will probably receive way more credit for these events than he will deserve. That's something I'm working through with God.

All that said, I'll be watching C-Span all day Tuesday and will probably shed more than a few tears.

TV Watching

Because I'm determined not to blog about politics (the whole if you can't say something nice thing) I guess I'll delve into television.

Biggest Loser keeps me glued. I knew they worked out a lot, I didn't know it was six to eight hours a day. OMG. What sucks is that most of them could probably kick my ass in the challenges they have to do. Sad. I'm working on it. I couldn't believe they sent home almost half of the contestants in week one. But I think it would be much more interesting if they sprang on them that the people at home were also going be weighed for the weekly weigh in. Yes, I was so sad they had to choose between the youngest and oldest guys. It was good to see the progress the old man had made at home.

And yes, I'm watching American Idol, but only on the dvr. I watched about fifty minutes of the two hour show last night. It's good to have mindless entertainment to distract me from politics. :-)

I'm really looking forward to Friday Night Lights coming back. Maybe even more than I'm looking forward to Lost.

Also, Selma Hayek's boobs on 30 Rock - very nice!

Work and Such

I keep hoping to work at least a couple of days a week at the doc offices. I worked last Thursday and Friday, and haven't heard anything from them since. Ugh. Yesterday that was probably ok as I was kinda ill all day - tummy troubles and a slight fever.

I've talked about maybe going back to office work. I still don't want to go buy a whole new wardrobe.

One other option is to work for one of the two major lab companies, although I know they don't treat their employees all that well. That might become more of an option soon though.

The other unknown out there is the hope that we'll be buying a house soon. And I have a feeling that house will be over in Maryland and not all that close to where we now live. Provided we can fight a cheap, nice house in a decent neighborhood.

The reason I was hoping this current job would work out three or four days a week is that it would give me time to do house hunting during the week. And if we're moving maybe 30 miles north, I think it'd be smart to wait to find office work then and there.

But, it would also suck to not work more than a few days a month for the next three or so months. Bleh.

UPDATE: Of course, they called me to work tomorrow. woo hoo.

Greater Love Has No Man...

We got our butts out of the house yesterday and went to see Gran Torino and grab some dinner. I knew a couple of bloggers I read had said it was a good movie, but I didn't read anything that really talked about the plotline. I really prefer to go into movies knowing as little as possible.

Anyway. Wow. As with so many things, it made me cry a lot. It didn't have the best editing/continuity/acting. But it sure was worth the time.

If you haven't seen it, I'd recommend it. If you do see it, let me know what you think of it.

Optimism

Sometimes the hardest, bravest, scariest thing I can do is to be optimistic. Because nothing sucks more than disappointment. Yet, I'm probably the most optimistic I've been in a long time.

Time Warp

Most of you probably haven't even heard of Discovery Channel's show Time Warp, but trust me, it's the coolest science show I've seen. Basically, the record all kinds of things on high speed video, then slow it down to super slo-mo so we can see what's actually happening.

I'll start you with this one because I know how many of you love dogs:

This one shows you how much more info they get with the high speed camera:

There are tons more on YouTube - check em out!

Wii Fit vs Wii My Fitness Coach

Wii Fit is fun, and the balance board is pretty cool. I'm trying to find good videos of how it all looks and sounds and works on Youtube. This one is a little different (seems to be the Euro edition), but you get a good idea of setting it up. This is the easy version of Wii Step. This looks like a good overview. Don't laugh at the hula hooping - it's harder than it looks!

The problem is the time it can take to go from one activity to another. And even though you "unlock" new games and/or yoga poses with time, it still gets to feeling repetitive.

Ok, so now I've started using Wii - My Fitness Coach. It's a lot like a workout video that is customized. It doesn't look or feel like a game. It also doesn't use the balance board. It cracks me up it's put out by Ubisoft - because damn straight I be soft - that's why I got the damn thing! This is the trailer, but it would only look like that if you were projecting it on a wall. One thing I like is the scolling bar at the bottom telling you what exercise you're doing and how long it will last. But you can't see that in this video. This is the only other video I could find, it shows how it looks, but it's some woman and her kid talking over it. Sorry, I'm too lazy to record a better video for you guys. From what I can tell there is a lot of customization in this "game". It makes recommendations on how often and how long you workout. Then as you get better at the workouts, it increases time and difficulty.

Working to Work

When I took this current job back in October, it was because I thought I'd be working three, four, or five days a week at maybe four different locations, getting a chance to try out the different doctor offices before choosing one to maybe go full time around now.

That hasn't happened. I worked about four or five weeks full time at their busiest location, then they decided that my "training" period had ended and they would call me when they needed me. One of the women at that location got sick for a week, so I worked that week. Then the last two weeks have been "the holidays" and things should have been slower for them.

I don't hate the job at the busy location, but I don't love it either. But the woman who makes the scheduling decisions is the manager there and I wasn't sure how to bring up maybe trying other locations. I'm overly sensitive and worry about what people think, so I didn't want anyone thinking I didn't want to work with them. I'd still just like a workplace with a little less stress and drama.

I've also really been considering going back to doing office work - not dealing with patients or the general public for a while. One of the reasons I got into phlebotomy when we lived in Kansas City was because I couldn't find a suitable office job.

Now, the one thing I enjoy about doing phlebotomy is that I'm good with patients who are nervous or hate having their blood drawn. And it's nice to feel like in any small way I'm making someone's day better. And I think I'd still like to work in a small outpatient lab, but in an area as big as DC, there aren't a lot of small ones.

The problem with jumping back into office work, is that after three years of wearing scrubs and tennis shoes to work, I have absolutely NO clothes to wear to an office. The few clothes I did keep don't fit because I've gained some pounds since then. I do not enjoy clothes shopping on the best of days. Buying them at this weight is downright depressing.

Hence, a real determination to start working out.

The other factor in finding a new line of work is that we're about to get serious about buying a house. In the next two weeks we really need to make an appointment and see about getting some pre-approved financing. With neither Nerdstar nor I having a great background in staying at one job for very long, I'm pretty sure it'll be better to keep this current job - providing they'll give me some hours - until this house thing is done.

So, I sent the manager lady an email today saying I'd like to work at any of the different locations. I also updated my resume's on Monster and Career Builder to include office stuff. We'll see what happens from here.

Nerdstar's Thoughts

When she blogs, she really blogs.

Weekend and Wii Workouts

My cold was relatively mild and short lived - for which I am very grateful. I took Zinc and Mucinex and that's about it. There never seems to be a cold medicine that has the right combination of symptoms and actually works.

We've had a pretty quiet weekend. We took Ramen dog to the park yesterday. It's amazing how he knows which days we should take him. I'm sure it has to do with both of us being home and sleeping in.

Then last night we drove up to Baltimore to go see the rodeo. J&B met us up there. It was fun! Nerdstar has two events in Vegas that she always wants to go to - the Pro Rodeo finals, and the adult video awards.

Today is more relaxing and some working out.

We've had the Wii Fit for a while - but it's too repetitive and ended up being hard to get a good solid workout on. For Christmas, Nerdstar got me My Fitness Coach for the Wii. We got it all set up - it actually asks you for body measurements - but my cold set in and we haven't done any workouts with it yet. It also asks you what workout equipment you have at home - so we'll see how well it incorporates them. And it looks like there's a place to add in additional workouts - like if we go do the treadmills in our little apartment complex gym.

Continuing The Happy New Year Theme

Bob Schneider - The World Exploded Into Love

There is a universe that can't be seen
It's just a feeling if you know what I mean
A delectable dimension undetectable by sight
It'll fill up your heart in the dead of the night
Some say its an astral plane
Can't be described can't be explained

The world exploded into love all around me
The world exploded into love all around me
And everytime I take a look around me
I have to smile

Oh is our life just an illusion
There is no need to figure it out
The separation exists not in your love filled heart
But only in your mind
The real story's all around you
Even now it surrounds you
Even now I feel the power

The world exploded into love all around me
The world exploded into love all around me
And everytime I take a look around me
I have to smile

Bob's a local dude from Austin who's pretty darn cool. This is a groovy song of his.

Oh cool, here it is:

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know it's already the 2nd, but I've had a cold the past few days. After getting really sick the last two times I flew somewhere, I took, and wore face masks on the plane. Well, ok, I wore it over half of the way home. So I still caught a cold, but it's not nearly as bad.

We had a lovely, quiet New Year's Eve. J&B came over for a simple dinner and we showed them all the cool stuff about the Wii. B was a natural at Guitar Hero, that was fun to watch. They weren't a lot better at the Raving Rabbids.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I was pretty sure '08 hadn't been terrible for most of my readers, or bloggers that I read. Several have written about just that. One in particular, Jon Katz of Bedlam Farm has been writing a lot about the past year and the upcoming year and fear and hope. They left around 11 to beat all the drunk drivers home, we barely were barely awake at midnight.

He puts it all so well...

December 29, 2008 - A friend told me recently that there is joy in being alive, whether you are happy or not, or whether or not you have difficulties in life. I believe that. Working in hospice, living on this farm, writing and taking photos, I find joy in my life every day, and more than once. Life is not to be wasted, or overwhelmed with gloom and worry. I am not always happy, and there are plenty of problems for us to wrestle with - money, jobs, illness, misfortune. I have no time for pollyannas, or those who seek perfect lives outside of their own.
Life is not always good, and things do not always go our way. None of us have perfect lives, or lives defined only by happiness and good fortunate.
Life is defined by the pain and challenges we experience as much as the good luck and happy times.
This, then, is the joy of life, at least to me. The opportunity to create, to seek and find love, and most of all, the great good fortune at having the opportunity and time to live, grow, learn and struggle to be better.
2009 will be a good year for me, because that is my choice, and I mean to make it happen. That is the joy in being alive. My life is not only defined by trouble, and there is plenty of that, but by fulfillment, creativity, the joy of being an artist, the good fortune to be a writer, and the human connections I am learning how to make. Precious stuff.

P.S. I am a big believer in memes, ideas that are spread electronically through the culture. The media meme, popular right now, is that we are all doomed, going over the cliff, heading for ruin. My meme is that things are going to get better, healthier and more meaningful, despite the pain and trouble. Do your part. Spread the word. Send your signal. Our meme is better than theirs.

So I'm joining in the optimism and trying very hard to ignore the doom and gloom.