Beth's Contradictory Brain

Crazy World

I've been feeling for a while now that the world has just gone crazy. There seems to be more news than I can keep up with - and a hell of a lot of it I'd rather not keep up with.

Add to that the deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah on the same day. Too damn weird. Sometimes it's like God gets bored and brings home some entertainers. (That sentence is in no way meant to imply He isn't entertained by us regular folk.)

On the home front. Nerdstar down in Houston until Sunday visiting family. Her real mission is to bring me home some Rudy's BBQ. She'd better not get off the plane without it! She finally got the official offer letter/start date/etc. for her new job. She's hit another personal high in income. Honestly, we laugh about it because it seems so crazy to us. I'm very proud of her.

We're also trying to figure out maybe taking a big trip next spring for our birthdays. I'd really like to do one of these sailing cruises. Nerdstar wants to take me to Taiwan and see where she grew up. I told her we might flip a coin for it!

As for me and work. It's hard to explain how Nerdstar making more than 3x what I do makes it hard to be motivated to go to work. Now, Nerdstar has never made me feel any pressure to work, or to work any particular job. She's been amazing at trying to get me to find something I really enjoy. It's just that I still have no idea what that job is. Well, I think I'd like to be a stay at home mom, but who knows if that's in the cards. And it's just not the same staying at home without the mom part. There is only so much housework and projects I can do and not feel like a slacker while Nerdstar's at work. But still, it's weird knowing I don't HAVE to work. (And in my line of work I feel guilty for even that because my coworkers are hard working folks who don't often get a break in life.) Yet, I still can't find what it is that I want to do with all my time.

Anyway. I've mentioned the the group of doctors I've worked for has an office pretty close to our new house. My manager called last night to see if I wanted to train there. So, I worked this afternoon after taking Nerdstar to the airport early this morning. And I work tomorrow and then next M-Th. I'll be in the lab with one other woman who's been working it by herself for quite a while and has her stuff together! There's a chance that they'll need me there, maybe even full time, come August. We'll see how the next few days go.

Another Week Down

Another week has gone by. It doesn't feel like much is going on.

For me it's been a week of getting a few things done in the yard. Up along the fence I found a few red bricks. I decided to use them to mark off this plant area right in front of the house. It's where I planted the little shrubs and will probably end up planting more stuff next spring. There weren't enough bricks to do both sides of the sidewalk, but enough to give it a try and see how it looks. Good enough that I'll eventually have to go buy a more bricks to finish the project up.

I mentioned that our neighbor let us borrow his lawn mower to do the front yard, but the back yard was quickly becoming a jungle with all the rain we've had. I couldn't bring myself to pay someone to do it, so I found a guy selling used lawn mowers and we bought one for $80 last night. I got about 65% of the back yard done in 40 minutes this morning. Ugh. I didn't manage to do most of the big slope or the yard above it. I'm saving that for tomorrow morning. Who needs a gym?

I also got rid of more of the trash and a few boxes from moving. We still have more unpacking to do, but it's either stuff we're not using, or Nerdstar's clothes.

Nerdstar got a call from some company wanting her to work on translating a 319 page document. She drove all the way there Wednesday only to find they didn't have the document yet. Fun. She's making hella good money, but it's really boring. Her and another guy sit in a conference room and translate the stuff onto legal pads. Not the most efficient way to get it done, but oh well. This will keep her busy until her real job starts next month. And it'll keep us in grocery money!

As for me and work - well, hell. It's not going anywhere at the moment. And I can't find a direction I want to pursue. Gotta figure something out soon though.

Beach Getaway

My brain was starting to get all funky on me. Nerdstar had hoped to be starting a new job on June 1 or close to it. That came and went and she wasn't hearing much of anything. I had hoped to find a job at one of the hospital labs down here in our new neck of the woods, but that's not happening either.

Not knowing when we'd have income again put a damper on things, too. We've got plenty in the bank for a few months, but it's not like we could use our free time to go traipsing off to Austin to eat, or to Atlantic City to play poker.

A friend mentioned Virginia Beach. I did some googling and found a part of the beach that you can take dogs to except from 9 am to 6 pm. So, we could either get up ass early and hit the beach and be done by 9 am, or leave late and get there around 6 pm and watch the sunset. We tried for option one and ended up doing option two.

It should be about three and a half hours from house to beach, but omg the fuckers down there can't drive. There were wrecks and traffic coming and going. Took just over five hours each way. Oh well.

We got there about 7 pm and took Ramen dog to the beach for the first time. I kinda knew it wouldn't be his type of place. He doesn't like loud - and waves are pretty loud. Even when we just sat on the beach with him he was too nervous to relax. Poor dog. And he doesn't play fetch, so we couldn't distract him with a ball.

We put him in the car for a little while and just sat on the beach and watched the waves and the jets as they flew out over the ocean.

We couldn't decide if it was worth finding some cheap hotel we could sneak Ramen into, or just try to go ahead and drive all the way home. Ramen is a fantastic travel dog in hotels, has never done anything wrong in a hotel room, so I hate paying the pet fee. We found a pretty cheap place not too far out and decided to call it a night.

Then we got up early and hit the beach for a while longer. The water is still pretty cold. We got a body board hoping to float for a while, but it was just too cold. And the waves, although not big by any normal standard, were big enough for us. I got knocked over pretty good trying to get back to shore on the body board.

It's amazing how renewing it is to sit by an ocean and listen to the waves crash.

My only problem with the beach is sunshine. (No small problem.) If you've never seen my legs, it's hard to imagine how white they are. Think Casper. Think glow in the dark white. Now, I'm happy with my legs that way - it takes a lot of hard work to stay as white as me growing up in Texas! So I had a t-shirt and long shorts, and when not in the water had a ball cap on - I HATE getting the top of my head sunburned. Thankfully today I just got a little burn on the bottom of my legs. That and all the sand exfoliating from the knee down leads to a little pain tonight. Thankfully, there's aloe vera with lidocain.

So, we're back home. On this trip Nerdstar finally got word that her new job starts July 10. This is a good thing. (There are some alternative versions of her working future that could happen, but they're all good for now.)

Hopefully now she can take a trip to Houston and visit her family. And we can take a trip to Austin to eat!

Faith and Science

We finally got around to watching Encounters At The End Of The World this afternoon. One of Nerdstar's good friends from college has done two "tours" working down in Antarctica and actually took the picture used in the posters for the movie.

I love watching documentaries about nature and science and such. I love the Planet Earth and Blue Planet series - although what I learned is it is an eat and/or be eaten planet we live on!

I don't talk much about my faith or being a Christian, but it is a big part of who I am. And watching all those type of shows, and ones about science and the universe, simply re-affirm my belief in an amazing Creator God. I believe science brings us closer to, not further from, the mind of God. I believe that all of nature - it's vastness of color and creativity and variety - is simply a small reflection of the infinite creativity of God.

It surprised me to hear the narrator talk about how most of the scientist, who are brilliant and creative and well-traveled, believe man will not survive for long. How can people who are probably more aware than most of the amazing ingenuity and resourcefulness of people believe we won't find a way to survive whatever comes? We put man on the moon, hell, they're living in Antarctica, I believe we'll find a way.

Being a teenager in the 80s, I grew up hyper aware of nukes. We lived in Dallas, and my friends and I would talk about how we'd just be gone in a flash with all the military bases and so forth in Texas. We didn't have to worry about what came after. I believe in the terror of nuclear weapons. I don't believe in the claims of man-made climate disasters.

Rambling Early Morning Update

We've been in the new house just over a month now. Sometimes I still can't believe that Nerdstar is back home and not out being Army girl like she was supposed to be. I'm so glad I'm not here by myself!

The house is feeling like home. I'm so glad it was move-in ready and we didn't have to start off doing any major projects on it. Over time we'll have someone come in and help pick paint colors and curtains. I'm sure in a couple of years we'll re-do some of the floors. But for now it's all good.

Things have felt a little weird this week though. For the past three days we've had a role reversal - I've been going off to work and she's been staying home. It's kinda cool. I know it sounds like it's fun and easy to spend lots of time not working. But honestly, it gets boring. It gets hard to find ways to fill all the time, especially if you're home alone, and if you don't want to empty the bank account. I mean, sure, the house could be spotless, or you could get into doing lots of exercise or something, but it doesn't take long for a lack of motivation to set in.

Anyway. She's wanted some extended time off for a while now, and I'm really glad she's getting some, especially after that last Army class was such bullshit and so rough on her. And now she understands a little better my "easy" life when I'm not working so much.

Speaking of work... every time I spend a few days at that doctors office, I remember why I don't want to work there full-time. There's just too much unnecessary crap to deal with. But, it's sort of like a cancer doctor co-op, so they have other offices, one of which is much closer to the new house. I mentioned that I'd like to work down here, we'll see if anything comes of that.

The other problem with where I was this week - the commute. Now, we knew when we bought a house all the way down here (it's 12 or so miles south on I-95 of where we were) that this would be an issue. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes two of three days to get to work, an hour and forty minutes the other (you know, it was raining as always). Thankfully, it only took about an hour and ten minutes to get home. I was thinking the drive home would take longer. I just really hate stop and go traffic. I'd rather do a consistent five miles an hour than having to stop and go, stop and go. Ugh. I don't have the patience for it. Also, I don't think I make enough to make it worthwhile to drive that far. It makes it an 11 or 12 hour work day, plus the added gas of stop and go traffic. Divide what I'm making into those hours and expenses... not pretty.

So, one way or another I'll find a job closer to home. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

As for Nerdstar, she's putting out more feelers just in case the one job she's pretty sure will work out falls through. She talked to the recruiter guy again today, he said the start date could be June 15 or July 10. Fun.

We've got money in the bank to get us through a few months if necessary. So I'm not worried about any of it, yet. I think Nerdstar worries more about it than I do.

In the meantime we keep trying to do a few fun things. We went to the zoo a while back. We had our cookout. We went to Artomatic. Next week I want to go to the American History Museum, it reopened last Fall and I think it'll be cool. Plus the usual house cleaning we don't like, the yard work which is kinda a fun work out, and chillin with the pets.