Beth's Contradictory Brain

Dream Job?

Pixie asked, and it's a great question. My number one dream job is being a mom. And we're kinda working on that, but there's no guarantee it'll ever happen.

Ok, so other than that, or in addition to that, or whatever.

Many, many moons ago I thought teaching would be my ideal job. I love teaching people things. Every job I've had I've gotten to train the new employees, teach co-workers how new things work, etc. I got certified to teach while living in Texas. In one of those weird things in life, if I had stayed put after I got certified I would have had a teaching job in the schools I grew up in. But, I was determined to move to Austin, and did. Unfortunately, even back then no one ever wanted to move out of Austin, and so teaching jobs were incredibly hard to come by. I did try the subbing route, but that never led to anything more permanent. But I was in debt and need a more steady income, so I went back to office work.

Before I got into phlebotomy, I went back and forth between waiting tables/retail jobs and office work. It seems I have a limited ability to deal with the general public.

Then came Nerdstar and our periods of moving around the country. I knew if I got into healthcare I'd be able to get a job anywhere. And that's mostly been true, but the jobs have mostly been "as needed." Only one was full time for more than a year, and that one sucked.

Anyway. I'm good at phlebotomy and mostly enjoy it, but I'm just not having luck finding the "right" job in this area. I've kinda decided to take the hint maybe that's not what I should be doing.

I've thought about pursuing the teaching thing again. I printed up some of the forms necessary to become certified here in VA. But I'm just not sure I'd still love it.

I've spent just over a week telling God he gave me a weird brain and a weird way of seeing the world, and He needs to finally show me what I'm supposed to do with it. I know that sounds strange.

Nerdstar has always thought I should go to law school. I even took the LSAT a long time ago and scored dead average without a study course or any prep help. But I've never really thought I'd enjoy law school, the debt, or a career as a lawyer, even a non-trial lawyer.

None of that really answers what it is that would be my dream job...

I really enjoy:
teaching people things they don't know.
helping people connect with people/things that relate to things they're interested in.
making processes more simple/organized
variety in my work - sometimes alone, sometimes in groups, flexible schedules, that sort of thing.

Sometimes I daydream about opening a diner, but that would be a lot more time consuming than I'd like.

There are hobbies I haven't been able to give a lot of time to before, making pottery, maybe some woodworking/furniture making, maybe painting using lots of colors - but not anything other than shapes and such. (I can't draw stick figures, so I could never paint anything "real".) Then there's local politics to check out.

So I just don't know. I'm 41 and not at all clear what I want to be when I grow up.

I do know I'm in a very enviable position of having the time to try once again to figure it out. Nerdstar is more than supportive and gracious. (Mostly because I do my very best to keep her well fed during my non-work times!)

Not Working But Exercising

After a brief stint at a job I actually kinda liked, I'm back to not working. I had in the back of my mind that this was likely to happen. Due to budgetary concerns, they can't afford to have me work full time. Sigh.

And for now, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

So, one thing I'm going for the time being is something I've put off most of my adult life - I'm sort of working out. Last week when it became clear that I wasn't going to be working full-time, Nerdstar and I joined the gym we'd checked out. It's not the closest gym to us, but it has a nice, big indoor pool, which is just what we want. I can't express how much I hate to exercise. Mostly it's boring. And I'm no good at it. But, even more that not liking being overweight, I don't like being out of shape. So, I'm swimming. I'm swimming every day this week to kick things off. Next week we'll swim and do some treadmill and weights.

I keep thinking how Nerdstar wasn't even supposed to be finished with her Army school stuff until Sept. 2. And one of the things I really intended to do while she was gone was start exercising. Now I get to do it with her home. Very cool.

As for future employment, I just don't have a clue. I have this feeling there's something I'm supposed to be doing (probably not phlebotomy) but I have no idea what it is.

I'm feeling mostly content these days - which is a nice feeling for me. And I guess I'm waiting to see what the near future holds.

Update

I think about updating this old blog here all the time... And I wouldn't even say that it's because Facebook or Twitter has replaced it. Before I started this long stretch of working I got into a little funky boredom and just didn't have much to say. Now that I've been getting back into the grove of working four or five days a week, I'm tired.

And that's what I hate most about working full time. It just leaves me too tired to enjoy the rest of life.

I think that's partly because I have a semi-intense job. (Does semi-intense even exist as a concept?) Anyway. I'm on my feet most of the time, I have to make sure everything is 100% - the right patient info, the right test ordered the right way, labeled the right way, processed the right way, etc. I would say, especially dealing with cancer patients, a mistake could literally kill someone - at the very least make them much worse off, and some don't have that kind of margin for error. And I don't feel like I have a lot of stress over the actually drawing of blood. I know my skills are good, and I also know when to call for backup instead of sticking someone more than once. But still, there's the pressure from the patients to not hurt them. Plus just the grind of being social all day. I learned a long time ago - patients don't really care how my day is going, it's not about me, it's about them. So being cheerful and talking to them to distract them is a fun part of my job, but it's also pretty tiring.

I still don't know what the long term picture is. Thursday I have to go back up to my old stomping grounds and fill in for someone who's out up there. I'm not looking forward to the commute or the chaos of that office. Oh well.

Other than that I tell myself all the time how good life is. While I could rattle off projects that every room in this house needs, I'm really enjoying having a house! I still love the tress along the back yard.

Nerdstar's finally starting to settle into her new job. The commute isn't as bad as feared, but it's no picnic.

Well, I just yawned. Gonna go check on my little plants in my little garden while Ramen dog wanders the back yard. Then I'm gonna sit on the deck and wait for my woman to get home. Then it's dinner time!

Work Update

Thank God this is a short week because I'm too out of practice at working to manage a five day work week yet!

Last Thursday and Friday and then this week I was down at the closer location doing some training. They're going to add a doctor to the practice and that means a lot more work for the lab, so hopefully they'll figure out they need me down there full time! But, I'm waiting to hear something on that.

Anyway. It's a really nice place to work. The woman who's been running the lab knows her stuff and gets it done. No drama, no b.s., just getting it done. Nice!!

And the job is more involved that just drawing blood. I actually run the machine that analyzes the CBCs and get everything spun down to send out and stuff like that. Kinda cool. This week we averaged 25 draws a day. I probably did the majority of them, giving her time to get a lot of stuff done she doesn't normally have time for, like totally cleaning/rearranging the storage closet.

Now, here's the part that's interesting to me. This woman has a picture of the Obama family above the printer. She's all about her church and plays the gospel station on the radio sometimes. And I'm trying to figure out why those things aren't annoying the hell out of me. Would such out there politics and religion bother you? Now, I did let her know I'm mostly a Republican and not a huge fan of the O man. That was last Friday - and we agreed and haven't talked politics since. She'd probably be more upset with me for being Republican than gay!

So, it's been good to be out of the house and working. In a perfect world I'd still only work Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday, but oh well. We'll see what they decide.