Beth's Contradictory Brain

Done?

I was talking with Nerdstar about this last night. I'm feeling like I'm pretty done with this blog. Just typing that makes me a little sad.

I've been working on cleaning up an exported version I put into Word so I can eventually print it. I'm just over halfway done and it looks like it's going to be about 1300 pages. I mostly enjoy going back and reading about the past eight or so years of our lives. There were a lot of hard times, but a lot of fun, too. And I'm so glad I have this blog where it's all documented.

For some reason I've never been great at keeping a personal journal. I have horrible handwriting, so paper is usually out. It never recovered from all the note taking in college. (I'm always sad there weren't laptops back then I could have taken notes on instead!) I also tend to write more dark and sad in a journal. I guess I find it harder to write the "what's happening" stuff just for me because, well, I know what's happening. Except, that's the thing, I won't know years from now. There are so many little things I would have completely forgotten if not for this blog.

Another thing is that in some ways I feel like facebook has replaced this blog. I like that I can get more comments and interaction there than I have here for a while now. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a place I could put my crazy thoughts and ideas about the world out there and have conversations about them with anybody, anywhere. That never happened as much as I hoped. Although, I was also telling Nerdstar how great it is that there are still a handful of people who I've been reading from day one and still at least keep up with one way or another online.

That said, reading back on the time Nerdstar was in Iraq, this blog and the people who read and commented really helped me a lot. That still means a lot to me.

I also know that with all the changes and moves and such Nerdstar and I have been through, we're in the biggest transition of our lives right now - pregnancy. And I have no idea how much I'm going to want to keep blogging after the baby is born. And if I do, I think it would be over on 2 Bad Moms and not here. But does the world really need any more "mommy bloggers?"

Maybe I'll get better at a personal journal if I'm writing it for the baby.

Anyway. I'm not shutting the blog down. I just don't know when I'll be updating it again.

Good Wife and Mom

Reading Sarah's post made me decide to write this.

Nerdstar and I were talking about "life" the other night at 3 a.m. and I said I felt like I hadn't accomplished a damn thing in the past ten years. Then, I thought to myself - well, other than be a good wife. And then she said, well, you've taken good care of me.

With the Army and Iraq and the moves and civilian jobs... it hasn't been easy. Even now we can't predict where her career will take us next. Although, it's looking like she might finally be getting out of the Army in the next few months.

And now - with Pinhead on the way, I finally get to do the one job I've been waiting over eight years to do - be a mom. I can't wait. And I think I'm going to be really good at it. And other than Nerdstar and my Mom, I don't think anybody really knows or understands this.

If Not Now, When?

I figure if I can't manage to update this here old blog during this huge snow storm, well, then I'm pretty lame.

Pics here.

We definitely got over two feet of snow here in our little part of the world. Crazy! Thankfully, after our winter in Johnstown, PA, we have snow pants and snow boots. I also have a fairly decent knowledge of snow shoveling. It's about knowing where to put it and keeping up with it as it comes down. I went out and cleared the sidewalk and around the cars and the deck Friday night around 9 pm. Then did it about 10 am Saturday and again about 8 pm. That was some hard work.

Our neighbors are complete idiots. We live in a cul-de-sac as you can see from the pics. I knew from the big snow we got back in December that the snow plows wouldn't be able to move much snow because the neighbors on both sides of us had their cars parked in the street - sticking out, not parallel. So, yesterday morning before the snow was too terrible, Nerdstar asked our neighbor to move his car into his driveway and out from in front of our yard. There was some other people coming and going from there that had been in and out of his driveway, so it was clear. He said that the street was free for anyone to park, he could park where he wanted, and slammed the door in her face. WTF? In the past he's seemed nice enough, last summer he even loaned me his lawnmower. Ok fine.

About 9 or so last night some people are out shoveling a path for the other next door neighbor to move her car. I figure they shoveled a lot of snow for over an hour. I thought, cool, as long as one of this isn't in the way, they'll be able to plow the snow by our driveway. Ends up they moved the car to behind the other neighbor's car. WTF? Now it's basically in the middle of the street block access to the circle. Wow.

Not long after that the snow plow comes through. I was kinda pissed. I would have had over twenty square feet of two to three feet of snow to move to get my car out of the driveway. Then there were people out there so I went out to see what was up. Thankfully the plow dude wanted them to move the car. Again, ok cool. At least he had some brains.

But, they were moving it back where it was, still in the way. Ugh.

In the end, they moved that car down the street, finally, and the first neighbor's car ended up in his driveway, and our street is really, really clear. The stupid part is it took over an hour for the plow man to clear just our little circle. If the neighbor had simply moved his car that morning...

I'll never understand stubborn, stupid, rude people.

So. We're mostly being really lazy. Looking forward to the Super Bowl tonight. Gotta get out of the house tomorrow and get more groceries before more snow comes on Tuesday.

Where Does The Time Go?

I can't believe we're already 3 weeks into this new year. Guess I'd have to say it's been a pretty good year so far. We've mostly been taking things easy, having lazy weekends, meeting up with friends for lunch or dinner sometimes. It's good. Life should be mostly boring.

Nerdstar's also having a fantastically boring pregnancy so far - knock wood. No morning sickness, no weight gain yet, a little more tired than usual. Her taste buds might be beginning to change just a little, she no longer likes beef as much. I asked last night if her taste buds were becoming more asian. She's not sure yet.

I've been trying to do some reading. A couple of months ago I was bored enough to try to tackle Moby-Dick. Nope, never read it. While I can appreciate that it's some really amazing writing, I got about half way through and it started putting me to sleep. Reading never puts me to sleep. So, I gave up. I've never given up on reading a book. Oh well.

I just finished Audrey Niffenegger's (The Time Traveler's Wife) new book, Her Fearful Symmetry. It was a pretty good book, but I wasn't surprised by it at all.

I also checked out Pink Brain/Blue Brain about how boys and girls develop from conception on and how they do and don't differ. It's a pretty scientific book, but it's not hard to read. It does get a little repetitious. I'm about half way done and probably won't read the second half as closely as the first. I'd recommend it, even though I can't articulate at all what I've learned from it.

Today I picked up Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. We'll both try to read it this weekend.

I've got a couple of other books checked out - all of this reading is courtesy of our local library - that I'll write about once I've read them.

My other ongoing project is my blog archive. I exported the whole thing into a txt file, then copy and pasted that into a word doc, so I've got to go through the whole thing and edit out all the extraneous stuff like extra lines and such. I think it started out of 2500 pages. I'm now on 1071 of 1600. I think it'll end up being about 1300 pages. One of these days maybe we'll buy a printer and I'll print it all up. It's been cool to go back and read about the past 8 years of life. Boy has a lot happened.

Hope your new year is off to a great start as well!

Thougths at the End of the Year

With Facebook and Twitter being so easy to use and update, I find it harder to sit down and write a real update for this blog. A few weeks back when it was broken, I was really sad to think I might have to end it. But then I haven't really updated it much since.

Part of that is because we have 2 Bad Moms to blog about baby stuff on. But even there I haven't updated too much. I've been so worried about the baby, and even the remote possibility of losing it, that I haven't updated much over there either. But, we've made it to week 11 and things are looking good so my worrying has been reduced by about 80%.

As we come to the end of another year, though, and I can easily look back at my archives of past years' ends, I'm so glad I've had this blog as a place to document everything. I guess I could keep a journal instead of a blog, but I'm not really that good at keeping a journal.

We had another good trip to Dallas to visit my family for Christmas. Now that I see them only a couple of times a year I find I have a lot more patience and good will toward them. I love my family, but... I know you all know how it is. I thought so much about how next Christmas Pinhead will be here and how different things will be. It's hard not to wish away time.

Coming home was almost a big adventure. Fortunately, when I checked us in for our flight online, I set us up to get flight status updates on our phone. Going through Chicago in winter is always a dicey proposition. We got an update as we were headed out for lunch that our flight had been delayed four hours. Ok, but then how would we get from Chicago to DC? So, we called the airline. It took an hour and a half on the phone, but they got us a direct flight from DFW to DC on American. Cool! We could make that flight and we'd get home a lot earlier.

We got to the airport at 3:20 for a 5:20 departure. Got to the American counter and were told we had to go to the United counter and get actual tickets so they could transfer them. Ugh. It's a five minute tram ride just to get where United's counter is. Fine. Then we stood in line for six or so minutes only to find out it was the wrong line. The right line wasn't moving at all. The ladies behind us had been put on Delta by United and Delta didn't like the tickets they were given. Sigh. I kept trying really hard to stay positive and not keep complaining and cussing - but mostly I failed. We finally got the tickets we needed from United, took the tram back to American and found the counter we'd been at had closed and we had to walk five minutes down to the next one. At this point it's getting close to 5 pm.

We finally get up to the American counter and hand the lady the United tickets and our IDs and wait for her to pull everything up. She said United hadn't completed the transaction. I just laid my forehead on the counter and prayed. I told God I knew I didn't deserve help, but... She finally hands us our new boarding passes and we've got about ten minutes to make it through security and to the gate. We made it! I almost cried when I got into my seat on the plane. I understood what grace is - getting something when you don't deserve it. There were a lot of people who didn't end up where they wanted to be that day. We not only got a direct flight home, we got home 3 hours early which also allowed us to pick up Ramen dog on the way home!

I know '09 was horrible in so many ways. But for me, it feels like it was a year of grace.

For years now, all I've wanted is a house and a baby. Back on May 1 I moved into our first house. Poor Nerdstar was away with Army school. It took a while for it to feel like home, but it does now. I love my desk at the window watching our tree and the neighborhood. I love the crazy slopped back yard. I love our huge bedroom and the fireplace and kitchen. I can't wait to fix up some stuff this spring and to get it ready for Pinhead.

So much of my worrying comes from life finally being so good, and I'm scared to death the good will end. All I can do is be utterly grateful for it all.

Bad Boys And Girls

Life's been pretty good lately. I spend a lot of my time counting down time, it was until Thanksgiving, now it's until Christmas. And I'm counting days little Pinhead's been around, days until the next sonogram. I'm less worried than I was a week or two ago, but I still worry. I also know that worrying never really stops for parents.

Anyway. We talk a lot about if the baby will be a boy or a girl, and what that boy or girl might be like - of course. We were talking with a friend of ours the other night and I told her my ideas about bad boys versus bad girls.

Probably due to some of the bad boys I dated in middle school and high school, I've always thought that boys had a better chance at becoming good - and it's because of girls. Eventually a bad boy's going to meet a girl he really likes, and chances are she's just going to be your average girl who does her school work, spends time with her family, and mostly stays out of trouble. In order to impress her the bad boy has to step up and kinda get it together. If the relationship lasts at all, then this could be that chance the boy needs to get it together. Of course, if she breaks his heart it could also set him down the wrong road even more.

I can't say I see the same thing for bad girls. I don't see them hanging out with nice guys and becoming nicer. I'm not sure what turns around bad girls.

What do you think?

Doing Thanksgiving Backwards

It's Saturday after Thanksgiving and I just finished making the cornbread for the dressing and the chocolate pie for tomorrow. Haven't had any turkey - can't wait to cook it tomorrow!

Nerdstar's sister decided to come and see the house and hang with us for Thanksgiving, but she has cat allergies and we have cats. We weren't sure if she'd even be able to spend an hour in our house, or be able to not wear a mask long enough to eat Thanksgiving dinner. No problem, we decide to go to the Ritz Carlton for Thanksgiving Brunch.

It was some of the best food ever. We had herb crusted lamb, prime rib, the best mashed potatoes ever, there was turkey, but I wanted to wait. There were probably twenty different desserts. It was just lovely! I got to the point I literally couldn't eat another bite!

After brunch we came back to the house to give her the tour. Her allergies held off long enough for us to have a fire in the fireplace so we could roast some marshmallows - she'd never had any! Then we broke out Wii Sports so they could beat each other up boxing.

Friday we got up and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast before heading out to Tyson's Corner mall. Nerdstar and I hit up Lush, but that was about it. The things we need are more like Bed Bath and Beyond stuff. We'll probably do more shopping after Christmas.

It wasn't too terrible being at the mall, but damn, it took us 45 minutes to get out of the parking garage.

Nerdstar's sister knows how to cook some really good Chinese dishes they grew up with, so we went to the Korean grocery store on the way home. (The Chinese grocery store has less stuff and is more expensive.) They spent the evening making a broth for beef noodle soup so Nerdstar can make it later, and then made a big pot of Wintermelon Soup, then they made a few other little snack dishes. (The snack dishes stink - lots of ginger and garlic!)

It was really nice to not have any stress. Also, we found out her sister's allergies aren't too bad and hopefully next time she can just stay with us.

And with all that, I still have turkey tomorrow!!

My Evil Brain

I've been a big Calvin and Hobbes fan for as long as I can remember. There's one strip where Calvin is on his sled at the top of the hill and he lists off a couple of obstacles and why he won't hit them. In the final panel he looks at the reader and says "My brain is trying to kill me." That's been the theme of my life ever since. I've thought for a long time about getting that last panel as a tattoo, but can never decide where on my body or if it would really translate all that well.

Anyway. My entire life I've fought my brain. I can remember in middle school lying awake late at night and wondering - if I'm thinking that my brain won't let me sleep... well, who is ME if not my brain. Yeah, I was that kind of kid.

It's never been major depression. The only time I tried meds was after 9/11. I hated feeling like a zombie. It's just sometimes a real fight to not be mired in doom and gloom.

In some ways it's been better the time I've been with Nerdstar. But the times I go too long without working, or she and I are having troubles (God forbid both of those are at the same time!) it gets harder to occupy my brain.

So it seems I've hit that point in not working, and probably a little pms sometimes, where there are dark little clouds over my head.

And my lack of self motivation really sucks.

Is the house really clean - no.
Do I got to the gym at least three times a week - no.
Have I done things like get dentist appointments out of the way - no.

Every day I have to find some little goal. It might be as simple as returning library books and going to the grocery store. It does help tremendously to get out of the house. I'm trying to do most of the housework and little projects around the house so Nerdstar doesn't have to on top of working. I'm also trying to cook more often.

I know I've written in the past about how weird it is to be a housewife and not have a kid to take care of. (Sorry, I don't want to go back and find the link right now.) I don't know why a kid would make me feel less guilty about not working.

And I guess the other part of not working and all this time is the loneliness.

But, I'm working on all of it. I'm slowly looking for jobs since my current one isn't calling. I keep plugging away at getting something done every day. It's been good for my reading habit sometimes.

VA State Fair

Here's a couple of pics from yesterday.

We had a nice time walking around the fair yesterday. The weather was so beautiful. We looked at all the arts and crafts, that was kinda neat. Then we went and looked at a bunch of the animals.

Of course, for Nerdstar it's all about the food. She had a candy apple. Then we found this bbq place that was really good. She had the biggest turkey leg I've seen. I had a brisket sandwich that was one of the best ever. Of course, it helps to be eating outdoors, since everything tastes better outside and after walking for a couple of hours. We tasted a few kinds of honey and bought some local clover honey - which means I'll have to make some good biscuits to put it on! Then before leaving we shared a funnel cake, because that's required of any trip to any type of fair.

Of course, going reminded me of all the times in high school our marching band went to the Texas State Fair and competed in whatever competition that was. Now, I haven't been to the Texas State Fair since then, but I'm pretty sure it's the biggest in the country. Man, we had fun back then.

But still, it's good to be out and about among the locals. Anytime we are in any size crowd I sing "who are the people in your neighborhood." Heh.

Dead Ends

I can't remember when we've had a lazier weekend. I was so happy that it rained all day Saturday. I mean, all day. It started raining at about 10 in the morning and didn't stop until really early Sunday morning. Then, Sunday was just beautiful.

Saturday night after cooking and eating a decent dinner, Nerdstar had a beer and I had some rum and coke and we just hung out at the table and talked for a while. She talked about work and her concerns. I talked about mine.

I really didn't expect that I'd go almost a month without working at all for my current job. The few days they wanted me to work were ones we were either traveling or babysitting. I went by the office I like working at to see what was up, and she said it just hasn't been too, too busy. I don't really like the idea of working for Quest or LabCorp, hard to say why. And the hospitals close to here just aren't hiring.

I've applied online to a couple of things. One was being an instructor for phlebotomy at the local community college network. Didn't hear anything back. And I applied for what sounded like a really neat phlebotomy supervisory job, again, didn't hear a thing.

Nerdstar's always thought I should go to law school. Funny thing is, if I'd done it when we first talked about it I'd be finished with it and working in the field by now. But it just doesn't really appeal to me. Hell, who knows if I could even get into any of the law schools around here. (And in reality, if I had been in law school back then who knows what would have happened if we hadn't been able to move to advance her career.)

But, I did decide to look into maybe getting my master's in sociology and doing research or something like that. George Mason looks to have a really neat program. One of my biggest problems in applying is reference letters. I haven't stayed put or stayed in touch with people to have three good references. So, I sent an email through the program's website stating my interest and such. That was over a week ago and I haven't heard a thing.

It takes me a lot longer than it probably should to get in gear and look into things. So, when I finally do and they all end up seemingly dead ends, it really sucks.

I feel a little guilty that Nerdstar has to get up early every morning and sit in traffic twice a day and go to work all day and I don't. I'm trying to be a good housewife, but cleaning isn't my strong suit! I do at least try to keep her well fed!

And there's always that job I really want - being a mom - that I'm still waiting on. Hopefully we'll make progress on that soon. If not, then I think I'll start seriously looking into if being foster parents is an option. It's something I've wanted to look into for a long time, and now that we finally have a house it's more feasible.

Lame

I actually kinda miss blogging. And I've opened up MT several times and looked at the blank space and wished I had something to say. I guess not working and not having kids leaves me with little blog fodder.

We did have several busy weekends in a row that helped offset my boring weeks. Last weekend we played host to a five year old boy and his year and a half old boxer. I picked him up after school Thursday and then got up and got him ready for school Friday. Can I just say elementary schools creep me out. Yes, a long time ago I spent time in some being a sub before I switched to junior high and high school subbing. But in teacher circles, you can spot the elementary teachers a mile away. It's an overload of forced cuteness and regiment.

Anyway. I think we did a good job. The weather was amazing so we spent a lot of time in the backyard. We also managed to only watch each movie once. We watched Finding Nemo, Kung Fu Panda, Coraline, and Monters Inc.

Nerdstar and I are pretty different in our handling of children/pets. But I think our styles are complimentary. Sometimes it's like good cop/bad cop.

One of these days I'll make a decision about what to do with my days. It still sucks that the job I'd like to be working doesn't have the money to give me some hours.

Oh well. This is a totally lame blog post. But I guess that reflects my totally lame life these days.

Free Flow

Hangin on the sofa, watching last week's Top Chef. Got Little Man asleep beside me, Ramen dog is chillin out somewhere. It's hard to say if he's sad Nerdstar isn't home. Do pets really understand what packed bags mean when you're walking out the door?

As most of you are aware, Nerdstar's Grandpa died yesterday afternoon. It doesn't matter that he was almost 93. It doesn't matter he was supposed to die from liver cancer over 20 years ago. It doesn't matter that we knew that although he was a stunningly stubborn man - who just last weekend told Nerdstar not to come and see him, he'd tell her when she needed to come down - and that it was kinda up to him how long he hung in there, he was fading. There is no way for her to be ready, to be ok with, him dying.

Her Grandma died 3 years ago. At the time she was in Japan for the summer with the Army. She's still sad about that and misses Grandma daily. Then about a year and a half ago her father died during a trip to Taiwan - it was completely unexpected. It really shook her up.

Now Grandpa. And although she and her sister still have other family members around, they're both feeling really alone.

Thankfully, Nerdstar got a flight out this afternoon and her and her sister get to spend some good time together before the viewing and funeral this weekend. She said it'll be weird being in Grandpa's house without him there.

I'm so sad for her. And while I want to be helpful and comfort her, sometimes I come up short.

We talk a lot about God and life and death and what's after this. But without any certainty about what's next, it's hard to be comforted.

Sigh. Life can be relentless.

Life Gets In The Way

of blogging.

Not that there's anything overly exciting going on these days. Just life.

I've been working more the past two weeks, but still have no idea what's going to happen long term. I guess I'm just taking it as it comes. For now that works for me. My co-worker at the good location and I are still hoping the powers that be will have me work there afternoons. It gives her the help she needs now that things are getting a lot busier, and it gives me mornings to run errands, clean house, go swim, and such.

Then there's the life and death issues. Life in that we're still hoping and trying to have a baby, and just not having any luck with it. It's weird to be so sad and yet in some ways still be optimistic. Death in that Nerdstar's grandpa isn't doing well health wise. He's almost 93 and stubborn as can be, so he's hanging in there. But we honestly don't know for how much longer. And this leaves Nerdstar sad.

Not Working But Exercising

After a brief stint at a job I actually kinda liked, I'm back to not working. I had in the back of my mind that this was likely to happen. Due to budgetary concerns, they can't afford to have me work full time. Sigh.

And for now, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

So, one thing I'm going for the time being is something I've put off most of my adult life - I'm sort of working out. Last week when it became clear that I wasn't going to be working full-time, Nerdstar and I joined the gym we'd checked out. It's not the closest gym to us, but it has a nice, big indoor pool, which is just what we want. I can't express how much I hate to exercise. Mostly it's boring. And I'm no good at it. But, even more that not liking being overweight, I don't like being out of shape. So, I'm swimming. I'm swimming every day this week to kick things off. Next week we'll swim and do some treadmill and weights.

I keep thinking how Nerdstar wasn't even supposed to be finished with her Army school stuff until Sept. 2. And one of the things I really intended to do while she was gone was start exercising. Now I get to do it with her home. Very cool.

As for future employment, I just don't have a clue. I have this feeling there's something I'm supposed to be doing (probably not phlebotomy) but I have no idea what it is.

I'm feeling mostly content these days - which is a nice feeling for me. And I guess I'm waiting to see what the near future holds.

Crazy World

I've been feeling for a while now that the world has just gone crazy. There seems to be more news than I can keep up with - and a hell of a lot of it I'd rather not keep up with.

Add to that the deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah on the same day. Too damn weird. Sometimes it's like God gets bored and brings home some entertainers. (That sentence is in no way meant to imply He isn't entertained by us regular folk.)

On the home front. Nerdstar down in Houston until Sunday visiting family. Her real mission is to bring me home some Rudy's BBQ. She'd better not get off the plane without it! She finally got the official offer letter/start date/etc. for her new job. She's hit another personal high in income. Honestly, we laugh about it because it seems so crazy to us. I'm very proud of her.

We're also trying to figure out maybe taking a big trip next spring for our birthdays. I'd really like to do one of these sailing cruises. Nerdstar wants to take me to Taiwan and see where she grew up. I told her we might flip a coin for it!

As for me and work. It's hard to explain how Nerdstar making more than 3x what I do makes it hard to be motivated to go to work. Now, Nerdstar has never made me feel any pressure to work, or to work any particular job. She's been amazing at trying to get me to find something I really enjoy. It's just that I still have no idea what that job is. Well, I think I'd like to be a stay at home mom, but who knows if that's in the cards. And it's just not the same staying at home without the mom part. There is only so much housework and projects I can do and not feel like a slacker while Nerdstar's at work. But still, it's weird knowing I don't HAVE to work. (And in my line of work I feel guilty for even that because my coworkers are hard working folks who don't often get a break in life.) Yet, I still can't find what it is that I want to do with all my time.

Anyway. I've mentioned the the group of doctors I've worked for has an office pretty close to our new house. My manager called last night to see if I wanted to train there. So, I worked this afternoon after taking Nerdstar to the airport early this morning. And I work tomorrow and then next M-Th. I'll be in the lab with one other woman who's been working it by herself for quite a while and has her stuff together! There's a chance that they'll need me there, maybe even full time, come August. We'll see how the next few days go.

Another Week Down

Another week has gone by. It doesn't feel like much is going on.

For me it's been a week of getting a few things done in the yard. Up along the fence I found a few red bricks. I decided to use them to mark off this plant area right in front of the house. It's where I planted the little shrubs and will probably end up planting more stuff next spring. There weren't enough bricks to do both sides of the sidewalk, but enough to give it a try and see how it looks. Good enough that I'll eventually have to go buy a more bricks to finish the project up.

I mentioned that our neighbor let us borrow his lawn mower to do the front yard, but the back yard was quickly becoming a jungle with all the rain we've had. I couldn't bring myself to pay someone to do it, so I found a guy selling used lawn mowers and we bought one for $80 last night. I got about 65% of the back yard done in 40 minutes this morning. Ugh. I didn't manage to do most of the big slope or the yard above it. I'm saving that for tomorrow morning. Who needs a gym?

I also got rid of more of the trash and a few boxes from moving. We still have more unpacking to do, but it's either stuff we're not using, or Nerdstar's clothes.

Nerdstar got a call from some company wanting her to work on translating a 319 page document. She drove all the way there Wednesday only to find they didn't have the document yet. Fun. She's making hella good money, but it's really boring. Her and another guy sit in a conference room and translate the stuff onto legal pads. Not the most efficient way to get it done, but oh well. This will keep her busy until her real job starts next month. And it'll keep us in grocery money!

As for me and work - well, hell. It's not going anywhere at the moment. And I can't find a direction I want to pursue. Gotta figure something out soon though.

Beach Getaway

My brain was starting to get all funky on me. Nerdstar had hoped to be starting a new job on June 1 or close to it. That came and went and she wasn't hearing much of anything. I had hoped to find a job at one of the hospital labs down here in our new neck of the woods, but that's not happening either.

Not knowing when we'd have income again put a damper on things, too. We've got plenty in the bank for a few months, but it's not like we could use our free time to go traipsing off to Austin to eat, or to Atlantic City to play poker.

A friend mentioned Virginia Beach. I did some googling and found a part of the beach that you can take dogs to except from 9 am to 6 pm. So, we could either get up ass early and hit the beach and be done by 9 am, or leave late and get there around 6 pm and watch the sunset. We tried for option one and ended up doing option two.

It should be about three and a half hours from house to beach, but omg the fuckers down there can't drive. There were wrecks and traffic coming and going. Took just over five hours each way. Oh well.

We got there about 7 pm and took Ramen dog to the beach for the first time. I kinda knew it wouldn't be his type of place. He doesn't like loud - and waves are pretty loud. Even when we just sat on the beach with him he was too nervous to relax. Poor dog. And he doesn't play fetch, so we couldn't distract him with a ball.

We put him in the car for a little while and just sat on the beach and watched the waves and the jets as they flew out over the ocean.

We couldn't decide if it was worth finding some cheap hotel we could sneak Ramen into, or just try to go ahead and drive all the way home. Ramen is a fantastic travel dog in hotels, has never done anything wrong in a hotel room, so I hate paying the pet fee. We found a pretty cheap place not too far out and decided to call it a night.

Then we got up early and hit the beach for a while longer. The water is still pretty cold. We got a body board hoping to float for a while, but it was just too cold. And the waves, although not big by any normal standard, were big enough for us. I got knocked over pretty good trying to get back to shore on the body board.

It's amazing how renewing it is to sit by an ocean and listen to the waves crash.

My only problem with the beach is sunshine. (No small problem.) If you've never seen my legs, it's hard to imagine how white they are. Think Casper. Think glow in the dark white. Now, I'm happy with my legs that way - it takes a lot of hard work to stay as white as me growing up in Texas! So I had a t-shirt and long shorts, and when not in the water had a ball cap on - I HATE getting the top of my head sunburned. Thankfully today I just got a little burn on the bottom of my legs. That and all the sand exfoliating from the knee down leads to a little pain tonight. Thankfully, there's aloe vera with lidocain.

So, we're back home. On this trip Nerdstar finally got word that her new job starts July 10. This is a good thing. (There are some alternative versions of her working future that could happen, but they're all good for now.)

Hopefully now she can take a trip to Houston and visit her family. And we can take a trip to Austin to eat!

Rambling Early Morning Update

We've been in the new house just over a month now. Sometimes I still can't believe that Nerdstar is back home and not out being Army girl like she was supposed to be. I'm so glad I'm not here by myself!

The house is feeling like home. I'm so glad it was move-in ready and we didn't have to start off doing any major projects on it. Over time we'll have someone come in and help pick paint colors and curtains. I'm sure in a couple of years we'll re-do some of the floors. But for now it's all good.

Things have felt a little weird this week though. For the past three days we've had a role reversal - I've been going off to work and she's been staying home. It's kinda cool. I know it sounds like it's fun and easy to spend lots of time not working. But honestly, it gets boring. It gets hard to find ways to fill all the time, especially if you're home alone, and if you don't want to empty the bank account. I mean, sure, the house could be spotless, or you could get into doing lots of exercise or something, but it doesn't take long for a lack of motivation to set in.

Anyway. She's wanted some extended time off for a while now, and I'm really glad she's getting some, especially after that last Army class was such bullshit and so rough on her. And now she understands a little better my "easy" life when I'm not working so much.

Speaking of work... every time I spend a few days at that doctors office, I remember why I don't want to work there full-time. There's just too much unnecessary crap to deal with. But, it's sort of like a cancer doctor co-op, so they have other offices, one of which is much closer to the new house. I mentioned that I'd like to work down here, we'll see if anything comes of that.

The other problem with where I was this week - the commute. Now, we knew when we bought a house all the way down here (it's 12 or so miles south on I-95 of where we were) that this would be an issue. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes two of three days to get to work, an hour and forty minutes the other (you know, it was raining as always). Thankfully, it only took about an hour and ten minutes to get home. I was thinking the drive home would take longer. I just really hate stop and go traffic. I'd rather do a consistent five miles an hour than having to stop and go, stop and go. Ugh. I don't have the patience for it. Also, I don't think I make enough to make it worthwhile to drive that far. It makes it an 11 or 12 hour work day, plus the added gas of stop and go traffic. Divide what I'm making into those hours and expenses... not pretty.

So, one way or another I'll find a job closer to home. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

As for Nerdstar, she's putting out more feelers just in case the one job she's pretty sure will work out falls through. She talked to the recruiter guy again today, he said the start date could be June 15 or July 10. Fun.

We've got money in the bank to get us through a few months if necessary. So I'm not worried about any of it, yet. I think Nerdstar worries more about it than I do.

In the meantime we keep trying to do a few fun things. We went to the zoo a while back. We had our cookout. We went to Artomatic. Next week I want to go to the American History Museum, it reopened last Fall and I think it'll be cool. Plus the usual house cleaning we don't like, the yard work which is kinda a fun work out, and chillin with the pets.

This Boring Life

I keep thinking I should update this here thingy. But there's just nothing going on.

Nerdstar was hoping to start a new job on Monday, but it's taking longer than hoped for them to get everything processed. Now we're hoping to know something mid next week.

I've got nothing going on work wise really. They want me to work next W-F at the old location, which is a commute I really don't want to make. I guess I'll do it those three days and hope to get a chance to talk with the manager about something closer to the new home.

Our a/c still doesn't work. I installed a new thermostat and the outside unit runs, the air comes out the vents, but it isn't cold air. Unfortunately, we found this out Sunday during our cookout. It wasn't too terribly hot though. I tried submitting a new claim online through the warranty people, that didn't take, so we called them yesterday. Today the company who actually sends a tech says they don't have an opening until next Thursday. Ugh. Stuff like that annoys the hell out of me. Of course, they have a "service plan" you can pay $20 a month and get moved to the front of the line for stuff. But making me wait a week on a warranty claim doesn't make me feel like playing nice with them.

I think Nerdstar's finally getting a little bored being home all the time, too. That and a little worried about the new job coming through or not.

I'm not worried about $ yet. It just sucks that it's always the case of having lots of time when you don't want to spend lots of money. Otherwise we'd be heading to Austin for two or three days of good food and then Atlantic City for two or three days of poker. Sigh.

Oh, and I had my first slip down the stupid stairs last night. They're narrow and steep. I had socks on, so once I started slipping, I just kept on. No injuries, but still.

So, that's our boring life this week.

Getting Things Done

Sigh. We're getting things done, just at a slow and steady pace. It seems like everything takes longer than it should, or takes two or three tries instead of one.

I installed the new programmable thermostat today. Turns out the handyman that took twice as long as estimated also hooked up the thermostat wrong. He knew the a/c didn't work, but he didn't even think it was because he hooked up the thermostat wrong. The only good thing is that the new a/c dude we called through our warranty also said it was the wrong kind of thermostat - which is my fault. I bought the first one having no idea that our central heat and air was the "heat pump" type. That's why I installed the new thermostat today. It took me a while and many readings of the instructions to get it all to work right. But I did it!

One thing I'm working on is not being so impatient. I mean, how ridiculous is it that even when I have absolutely no timetable or deadline or schedule for anything, I still feel like things aren't being done "on time."

Yesterday was lovely though. We took a day off from dealing with Army bullshit (her) and house bullshit (me) and enjoyed watching the animals at the zoo. I swear there's something about zoos that make adults into complete imbeciles. At least it's amusing to listen to all the stupid stuff they make up for their kids. Then we had lunch at a sidewalk cafe. Yum.

Today was a trip to Michael's and Home Depot. I think we've gotten just about everything we need for now.

We've decided to let professionals handle the yard. There's just too much we don't know about the soil, sun/shade, local plants, etc. We don't want to spend a couple hundred bucks on plants and have them die. Not sure when we'll call in the help though.

Nerdstar has a couple of really good job offers, although one of them would be close to a two hour commute one way. Ugh. There are some variables that might make it do-able, or worth doing. We'll see in the next few days. The other one is only about an hour commute and is pretty close to being a done deal. That's amazing. She wasn't even supposed to be back from Army stuff yet and she's already got two job offers. Way cool. It's looking like she could have a start date of June 1, which would be fantastic! She really needed some down time.

I have an interview tomorrow, but I think it's too far from home for me. It's a hospital system, so I'll go meet with them and see if they've got anything at a closer location.

Holding Pattern

Not much blogging here because there's just not much going on. We're both in a holding pattern.

Nerdstar's being out processed from her training - and that' a good thing. But it's all going kinda weird. The stupid part is that the class ends next week anyway and there were only two or three more requirements she needed to pass. Now, those requirements were passing the land navigation and doing a ten mile road march. And this time last week it just wasn't clear she'd physically be able to do those. So her immediate chain of command decided to send her home. Since then it's been meetings and paperwork and "what do we do with you now" sorts of things. The Army is never really good at dealing with reservists as opposed to full-time soldiers. She's finally fed up with all of - a point I reached many years ago. The full-time Army peeps just don't get that she doesn't need the Army like so many of them do. She doesn't need the money or the job security, she's got a career already.

Anyway. We're pretty sure I can go get her in the next few days. But we have no idea what comes next. She's still trying to get someone to help her get a medical discharge, but there's no timeline for that.

As for me, well, I've done all the unpacking that needs to be done. Now that Nerdstar's coming home now instead of Sept. we can figure out where to put artwork and stuff like that together.

I applied for some jobs online at nearby hospitals, but haven't heard anything back. Not sure what my next move is if those don't work out. I'm really ready to not be home all the time.

So things are moving in the right direction, they're just moving really slowly for now.

A Little Rant

Indulge me, I'm gonna rant a little.

This is exactly why I hate her being in the army. There is never any definite plan/schedule. Fine, I love our military and it's accomplishments and all that. I love it more than she does. But being an outsider and yet being subjected it this endless hurry and wait bullshit pisses me off.

I've wanted her out of the army for years. But, for reasons that even she has no idea what they were anymore, she kept hanging in there with this reserve stuff.

Anyway. After all the stress of the past two weeks, she calls yesterday saying they're going to process her out of this training. Great. Maybe this is a way to get out of the army altogether - which she just might finally be ready to do.

Then today it's all, well, it's the weekend, no one's working, I've got to talk to the higher up's on Monday, blah, blah, blah.

Now, up until yesterday I was the one trying to stay positive, and encourage her and tell her to suck it up and get through this. Then I spent yesterday afternoon, evening, re-arranging my brain and trying to figure out the logistics of her coming home next week instead of over 3 months from now. Canceling a pet sitter, telling my Mom we wouldn't be there in a couple of weeks. Nothing major really. More wrapping my brain around all the sudden changes.

And... my brain has to keep waiting and worrying and all that until at least Monday.

There's only two more weeks of this training anyway. And her immediate chain-of-command have been real dickheads. Who knows what the higher-ups will say about all of it. They could send her home next week. They could find someway to help her finish this course. They could ask her to come back and re-do all or parts of the course later.

I keep asking if they leave it up to her what happens what her answer is. I think she wants to come home, but I'm not sure even that's at 100%.

Sigh.

This Crazy Life

Wow. Nerdstar just called and said they're going to send her home from this Army course, she's just not physically able to complete it. She'll be there about another week to do all the paperwork/out processing, then I'll go get her. It's not clear yet what this means for her continued army career. She was already trying to get a medical discharge, that might go forward. She might just keep doing the reserves, or they might try to make her re-take this course at some point in the future. That's the joy of Army life - you never really know what the hell they'll do with you.

Me - I'm so happy she's coming home!! I really didn't want her gone for another three months.

This also means we're both going to be job hunting. We're not worried about that. We've got a nice reserve built up in our savings.

I'm a little more surprised than she is about this turn of events. I keep telling her to hang in there and that it'd all work out. She was hating every minute of it. Maybe she could have done it all if she hadn't gotten such bad blisters on her feet. Maybe not. It was physically harder than she'd anticipated.

Settling In Thoughts

Let's see, I think this is day 3 in the new house. I've totally lost track of what day it is.

The house is still so empty it echoes in here. Not sure how much unpacking all the books and putting up what little art/pictures we have will help.

I think we have things backwards - the kitchen is upstairs and we put the master bedroom downstairs.

I haven't had tv since Thursday night. I think I'm going through withdrawal. Comcast (our only choice) is supposed to be installed tomorrow. I only have internet because someone in the neighborhood has wifi I'm borrowing. It's been a lifesaver.

I've never lived in a two story house - I'm really surprised at the temperature difference between the top and bottom floor. It's been in the upper 50's lower 60s and rainy since I moved in and I've had the windows open. I'm comfortable sitting at the desk upstairs, then go downstairs and notice how cold it is.

I've never been in a neighborhood as quiet as this one. It's almost a ghost town this weekend. That's ok with me. With the windows open it's sounded like I'm living out in the woods.

I can't tell if the pets are happy to have all this space. I know it all smells funny to them.

I really need to drag my butt to the grocery store. Trying to get the kitchen unpacked enough to have silver ware, dishes, and glasses to drink from.

First Night

It's finally my first night in my very own home. At 41 it seems a little late in life for this event, but better late than never.

I miss my Nerdstar like crazy tonight. I'll enjoy spending the time she's gone making the house a home. She doesn't like decorating, so she's happy to let me do what I can.

Because my brain refused to shut off last night, so I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Then I got up at 7 to go get some breakfast before the movers showed up. It's been a long day - but as has been the case so far - everything went really, really well.

I'm not sure what the pets think of all this. It's certainly the biggest place we've lived.

And... I have a huge, beautiful tree in my front yard. And with the desk in front of the second floor window, I'm eye level with the lowest branches. I love watching trees change through the seasons.

I'll take pics soon. I think so far I've unpacked a total of 4 boxes. Over 30 left.

So Grateful!

The closing is done, I've got the keys to our new home!

Our mortgage man called this morning saying that although there had been a problem with our loan being FHA due to the earlier appraisal issues, everything was fine, it was converted to a conventional loan instead. That lowered our monthly mortgage payment another $20 bucks or so. (From what I understand this is highly unusual and gracious on the part of BB&T.)

I just want to say how grateful to God I am for everything about this whole process. There were time things could have gone wrong, or cost us more money or something in this process, instead things worked out in our favor. I believe God's hand is in that.

I also want to thank all you wonderful people here online who also said words of encouragement and prayer for us. It means a lot. Truly.

Tonight is moving the cats into the new house, once I can get the second one out from under the bed. Then the movers show up at 9 am tomorrow. I won't have internet until Monday at the house, but I'll go somewhere and get some wifi over the weekend.

On The Verge

There's something that feels weird, yet maybe cathartic about moving. About packing and unpacking your life. It's been nice to have plenty of time to pack. I'm still at about 95% done. The kitchen is always the hard part. I've spent weeks visualizing where the boxes go, where the limited furniture we do have goes, unpacking things, getting a real feel for the house. I still haven't even ventured around the back yard.

So it's been really frustrating to not be able to feel excited about all of this because I'm worried there will be some last minute glitch. The closing is at 4 pm tomorrow and as of 4 pm today the people handing the closing don't have the instructions yet. I'm mostly sure everything will be just fine, but again, it's frustrating having to worry.

I'm also really sad Nerdstar isn't here for this. It's a big event and she's away. Now, yes, we could have delayed all of this until she was done with her Army stuff, but part of me also wanted to have this to do while she was gone. (See the title of this blog if you're confused!)

I'm really looking forward to not being in an apartment. The complex we've been in these two years has been really nice. We never hear our neighbors. It's safe. The people, when we do see them, are nice. But I'm tired of having people so close all the time. Poor Ramen dog wants to be social and he barks when he hears anyone outside. It's annoying. I'm looking forward to having the deck in the back yard, and sitting out there. I'm ready for some place that's actually home.

So tomorrow we do a final walk through at 3, the closing at 4. Then I'll come back to the apt. and get the cats and a few things to take over to the house. I don't want to have to deal with the cats the morning the movers come, so they'll be the first to spend the night in the house.

I'll find out tomorrow what time the movers are showing up on Friday. It always amazes me how it'll take them about thirty minutes to load everything we own onto a truck, and then another thirty minutes or so to unload it.

I think the weather's supposed to be decent for Friday. Keep your fingers crossed.

Slow Weekend

Not really much going on for me this weekend. The weather really heated up. It's 90 yesterday, today and tomorrow, but thankfully only 30% humidity. What's so funny here is that people who live here think it's humid, but in Texas we got temps over 90 and over 85% humidity for six months of the year.

I took Ramen to the park yesterday and let him run around until he was tired. Later today when it cools off some I'll either take him for a long walk or let him run around the little fenced area in our apt. complex.

It's also been nice this weekend to have conversations with Nerdstar that last more than five minutes. Her weeks are pretty sucky, but at least she gets to go out to eat and get some better food and get some rest on the weekends!

Other than that I finally packed all the stuff in my big desk.

Mostly I'm just being bored and boring. Watching a little tv. Surfing around the net.

Tomorrow I take Ramen to get his annual shots and will probably go buy the few more boxes that I need to finish packing.

Things will start to pick up a little bit on Wednesday. There's another project in the work from home stuff I'm doing that has the preliminary part on Wednesday.

The forecast is for scattered thunderstorms Wed. through Sat. so pray that it's clear when the movers are here.

Anyway - hope your weekend was more fun. Mine will be much better next weekend!

Week 2

Time still goes slower with Nerdstar gone. It was a pretty good week though. I did a little more packing and cleaning. In two weeks I'll be unpacking stuff I haven't even packed yet.

I think I ended up catching a cold from going to the DC Tea Party the other day. Maybe it's an age thing. I felt pretty bad yesterday but fell a lot better today. It was 80 and sunny today so I took Ramen dog to the park and then took the motorcycle out for a short ride. I'm looking forward to riding around the new neighborhood soon and learning my way around. I find it a lot more fun to do all that on a motorcycle.

I'm not that excited about moving into the house yet. Partly because it still seems far away, and partly because there are so many details to take care of and I don't feel I can relax until the keys are actually in my hand. I've got the cable and internet and electricity scheduled to be turned on. Waiting to hear back from the water company. The movers are scheduled. The day before closing I'll fax all the info to my bank for the wire transfer.

I'm mostly waiting until I get moved in to start looking into the things that will happen after, like buying the few things the house needs, finding a new dog park, finding the library, seeing what all restaurants are in the area. Things like that. I'll have three weeks from when I move in until I drive back down to GA and then Nerdstar and I drive to her next Army class over in AZ.

So yeah, on top of getting everything together for the house/move, I'm kinda planning a 9 day road trip.

No complaints though. Just gotta not stress and keep moving forward.

Week One

Not too bad of a first week of Nerdstar being gone. I made a little progress on packing stuff up, worked a couple of days.

Hopefully sometime this weekend Nerdstar will blog about her first week. She's had to get up ass early every morning, do quite a bit of physical training, lots of hurry up and wait, and lots of boring briefings/meetings.

I miss her, but this time seems much easier than when she was deployed to Iraq. Not having to worry about her safety 24/7 makes a huge difference. Also knowing the exact end date helps. Plus, she's got her blackberry with her and we can text a lot. She's got the laptop with her, but internet service has kinda sucked so far.

I have a work from home project that was supposed to start today, but now looks like they won't have it ready until Monday. Many years ago I scored student essays for standardized tests. A while back I found their website and saw that they now have it set up so people can do that from home and applied. It's not a ton of money, but it's better than none and it gives me something to do - which also helps my brain not get all wonky on me while she's gone.

Hectic

I really don't want tomorrow to get here. I don't want my Nerdstar to be gone until Sept.

It's been good that we were both off this week to get all this stuff done. It's been a pretty hectic week. Her focus for a while now has been preparing for OBC and mine has been the house and the move.

Tomorrow morning we get up very, very early and drive down to Georgia. It's about a 12 hour drive. We'll be stopping in Charlotte to get some good grub. She has to check in at noon on Sunday and get squared away in the barracks. Turns out she'll be sharing the room with another chick. Think dorm room but smaller. Hopefully we'll get to see each other Sunday evening. Then Ramen and I drive back Monday. (Ramen dog is fantastic on road trips - thankfully - since he gets to do so many of them.)

Once I get back home, it'll take me at least a day or two to get the place back into some sense of organized and functional. Then it's 3 weeks till closing on the house and the movers show up.

I'm hoping to work some days in there. And, I got a work from home gig for the last couple of weeks of this month that I'm sure I'll write more about later.

I've got lists of things that need to be done, but it still all rattles around my brain all the time.

So, I'll update when I can over the weekend, might just send a few tweets on Twitter.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Nerdstar!! No big plans, just gonna take her to dinner at one of her favorite little places around here.

It's also her last day at her current contractor job. The good part of that is that she's off work until I drive her down to Fort Benning in ten days. We don't have a whole lot planned, gotta get the cars clean, wash the dog, pack her stuff for OBC and her stuff for moving to the new house, gonna see a movie or two. Things like that.

More Life

One month from today is closing day on the house. All I can keep thinking about anytime I'm home is looking at everything we own and picturing putting it into boxes - again. I'm pretty good at packing! I also keep picturing the new house and where things are going to go and the few things I'm going to do "improvement" wise when I move in. I cannot possibly express how happy I'm going to be to not have clutter, to have room to put everything away.

There's some weird stuff going on at Nerdstar's work location. The government people are apparently working to phase out contractors - one of which is Nerdstar. That's fine. She doesn't like this job much anyway. But, by law the actual contract company she works for has to have a job for her when she gets back from OBC in September. I'm not too worried about it. Her skills are valuable and someone will pay her well for them. Of course, she's a little worried, but will be too busy at OBC soon to worry about anything other than how to get through the ten mile run - he he he he. She's going to have a week free before heading off to OBC. That means she at least gets to pack up all her shoes!

As for me and my job - it's anyone's guess. I've ended up out at the other office being the MA quite a bit lately. One doctor is there M-W and has fifteen to nineteen patients a day. He's a decent guy. The doctor on Th. has six to nine patients and is a prima donna. Ugh. Then there's the secretary and the nurse. They're actually pretty cool to work with. I make them laugh. But, that gig might be ending - the chick out for the month might come back. Or might not. I'd give it a ten percent chance they ask if I want to keep working out there. The only reason I might have a chance is that they closed the lab part because the hospital next door the doctors do rounds at don't want competition. However, I might could do the blood work and MA stuff. Who knows. I'm just gonna see what the next couple of months bring.

Then there's the road trips coming up. And the moving. So somewhere in there I'll either be working more for my current peeps, or I'll be looking for a job much closer to the new house.

Not A Bad Week

I got called in to work two days this week. That was a good thing. Too much time not working and my brain turns into something evil. I was working out at the other location as an MA (medical assistant). Being an MA is still not a job I'd like, but it's ok for a few days. I miss drawing blood though. Being an MA at this small doctor's office is more about printing up schedules and patient reports and calling for results and stuff. It's like being a secretary. Plus the doctor that's at that location on Thursdays is not very nice, or competent. So why is it usually the case that incompetent people mask it by being demanding assholes?? I work this coming Tuesday out there, too.

The house hunting has been insane. By the time the agent sends us a listing, we figure out which ones we want to see and find a time to do that - the houses all are either under contract or have five to seven offers. Ugh. It's like chasing our tails.

So we met our agent at 9:30 this morning to go look at six more places. We're just having a really hard time finding a floor plan that suits our needs. Either the master bedroom isn't. Or the kitchens aren't any bigger than the one we have in our apartment. And one of my biggest complaints is how cluttered our kitchen always is.

We finally found a house that we liked the floor plan. It has a beautiful kitchen, the family room has a fireplace and the master bedroom and laundry room are all on the bottom level with the family room. The three bedrooms upstairs will work for a spare bedroom, a workout room, and probably storage. There's tons of room in the laundry room next to the master bedroom to make a lot of it into a walk-in closet, eventually. The fenced back yard has a decent little deck to put a grill on.

There's no garage or storage shed. But that's ok.

We put our offer in. With luck we'll see how many other offers there are this weekend and where ours falls tomorrow night. Our agent wrote an escalation clause. The starting asking price was well under budget so fortunately we've got room to counter other offers.

It's all so scary. I think we both have mixed feelings about the whole thing. If it works out fantastic. If not, well... we'll keep moving forward.

Enough

I'm torturing my poor Nerdstar today. I'm making her clean and organize and prepare to give things to Goodwill. It's just terrible.

Yesterday we finally took a bunch of towels to the local animal shelter. And we still have 10 good towels for two people.

We have three very nice army issued camel back backpacks, a regular backpack, a laptop backpack, two army issued regular backpacks, a cute light blue backpack, two decent sized suitcases, a huge travel backpack, a good travel bag with wheels, and two empty army issued duffle bags. If we ever need to saw up bodies to dispose of - we've got the bags to do the job. And this is after getting rid of stuff.

The only nice thing is I did was to not make her go through her shoe collection today. We'll save that for another day.

She's gotten much, much better about not just buying stuff, so I'm giving her lots of credit for that here! But we've still got a ten year supply of lip balm.

What's Up?

Well Peeps... nada going on here. Still no luck with the house hunting. Am really hoping to go see several more houses the next few days with the gay lady realtor.

The fun thing is, if we want our lease to end in April when it's up - we're supposed to give 60 days notice, which is like, um, Friday. Fun.

I got to work today, out at the other, much more quiet, location as an MA. It's really just secretarial work except it's broken up by having to take someone's temp and blood pressure every so often. The chick is supposed to be out all of March, but I'm not sure when they want me to fill in and when they'll have someone else do it yet.

Nerdstar has to do a physical fitness test Friday for the army to see how her back is and stuff. It's all pretty retarded. Even if she fails the test, I'm not sure that guarantees she doesn't go to OBC. She could go with what is more or less a "note" saying she can only do X amount of physical training while there. And, even if she passes the one Friday, that's not to say she would pass the ones they do the first few days of OBC, and if you fail those they send you home. And we have no idea what getting sent home would mean for her military career.

If anyone's got a spare crystal ball - I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands.

Because I'm Bored

And the pets don't find me particularly amusing.

Thought I'd "live-blog" my evening.

7:50 pm. Nerdstar is up in the sky somewhere between DC and Houston. (Hence my boredom) Waiting for the new season of Survivor - but only because there's nothing else on at 8 p.m. (I still haven't gotten used to being on EST instead of CST.)

7:57 All day has felt like Friday. Which means it will seem even longer until Sunday when Nerdstar gets home. I'm tempted to pack the dog in the car and go play poker in AC. We'll see. Am still hoping to look at houses tomorrow, and if not tomorrow then Saturday.

8:02 Who would have guessed Survivor would be on this long? I'm a bigger fan of The Amazing Race.

8:09 Heh - what a great start to the Survivor season! The outcasts get the easy way to camp, which can only make them more outcast.

8:17 Watching Earl during commercials. Fun. "They even considered having sex with their husbands." Funny.

8:33 The cats decided to get off the bed and come join me for a while. They're so cute. The dog is asleep up against the sofa. (He only gets on the sofa while we're not home.)

8:45 Wow, I bore myself.

9:00 Woohoo time for The Office!

9:04 "There's always a theme."

9:16 I'm tired now, but would bet $100 I won't be able to sleep later.

I'd be twittering all this, but I think that would be obnoxious. Decided to try this instead. Am going to give up this endeavor and just watch 30 Rock and ER.

Interesting Question

Megan has an interesting question over on her blog.

What would make you feel poor?

I had already graduated college and had my own apartment, but not much else. This was when I was still driving my 69 Camaro I'd had since I turned 16. I got into donating plasma for gas and grocery money. That felt pretty poor.

My family didn't have much money when I was growing up, but the idea of poor never, ever occured to me. My mom was a stay at home mom, which I will forever be grateful for. When I was young they gave me a choice between pay as I go, or an allowance. Even then I knew I'd rather be in charge of my own money. I'd rather budget myself than take the chance of them telling me they didn't want to pay for something. If I wanted a $60 pair of shoes and they only wanted to pay $40, I could take the $40 pair or pay the difference. That worked for me.

Somewhere along the way I learned to stop buying things I wouldn't end up using in the long run.

Since Nerdstar and I have been together we went from getting by pretty well, to now when we don't have to worry about money. We eat well. Nerdstar's done her fair share of shopping the past few years. (That's slowed down thankfully.) We've got decent cars, a motorcycle. If we can get a house and not increase our monthly bills by too, too much I'll be thrilled.

Rambling along... what would make me feel poor now? If we couldn't afford even our current level of lifestyle and went into debt. We're not debt free, but we're getting closer all the time. I'd hate for that to change.

Complicated

Ugh. I'm so tired of life being more complicated than I'd like.

Nerdstar got her official orders for Officer Basic Course yesterday. If they stand, and I'm pretty sure at this point they will, she has to be down in Georgia starting April 5 for seven weeks, then has four days to get to Arizona for three months.

She went to base yesterday to find out what the hell is up with her medical stuff. She ended up going way up the chain of command because that's who she found in the office. Evidently all the paperwork she's been submitting hasn't been routed anywhere it needed to be. Hopefully this higher up will get some answers. BUT. I have a feeling that even if she get some sort of medical profile, it won't prevent her from doing OBC altogether.

All along, for the past couple of years, Nerdstar's had mixed feelings about OBC. It's something that would give her a feeling of accomplishment. If she's going to stick with the reserves and try to finish out her 20, well, of course this is necessary. As for me, well, I've been pretty clear that I would really prefer she get out of the army altogether. It interferes with our lives too damn much. A year ago, or so, I told her she could go to OBC and I'd move back to Austin and see what happened from there. But now we're trying to get a house and settle down and have a grown up life.

All I want is a house and a baby. WTF is that so hard? Yes, the house can happen even if she's heading out. But once again the army fucks up our baby plans.

Anyway. Nothing is set in stone yet. We'll see what the next six to eight weeks bring.

Progress

Just over year after we bought my parents a computer and got them to at least venture onto the slow lane of the internets - I've finally received a couple of emails from my Dad/The Kid. Wonders never cease.

Updates

Interesting developments this evening.

We had to take Ramen dog to get his wound checked out at our regular vet. We've seen this vet lady three or four times before, she's nice. I had on a Baylor University sweatshirt that she noticed - she went to Baylor, too! We overlapped, but I never really knew that many people there. Nerdstar went there, but at a totally different time. So we all got to talking about living in TX vs living here. She really likes it here, but has family in Austin and gets to go there more often than we do. (She misses breakfast tacos, too!)

Anyway. Come to find out she's just started the process of applying for a mortgage and looking for a house in the same areas and price range we are. So she gave us the name of her realtor! That's cool because we were just praying last night that God would provide people to help us with all this. Once we get the pre-approval letter, which should happen tomorrow, we'll make an appointment with the realtor dude.

BUT...

Nerdstar also got a phone call from a company who's been wanting to hire her for a while now, but couldn't get it all together. The job is located up in the north east corner of MD, between Baltimore and Wilmington, DE. We looked online at houses in that area and they seem nicer and cheaper than here, and they seem to have really big yards - which we would love.

The problem - well, although they're willing to pay relocation costs, which would help tremendously, the salary they're offering is $10K less per year. That's a big drop, even if our mortgage would be 2/3 of what it would be here. She's going to talk to them and see if there's anyway they could only drop the salary $5K a year.

Then there's my job crap. I emailed the boss lady last Thursday about working - didn't hear from her at all. I called this afternoon and spoke with one of the techs and left a message, but nada. What sucks is that I wish they'd lay me off so I could apply for unemployment, I'd make more money than working four or five days a month like is happening now. But I realized until this house/mortgage thing is finalized, it's better to at least be on someone's payroll. Although, my pay isn't really enough to be a real factor in our financing.

Anyway. We'll see what happens on all fronts this week. Trying not to let it explode my head.

Changes and Unknowns

I am sure that this year will end with life being different than it is now. But there are so many unknowns and lurking complications.

One thing we plan on achieving this year is buying our first house. When we moved here almost two years ago, we didn't plan on staying here long because there was no way we could afford a house - they were simply way too overpriced. Now, we're hoping they are in range.

We talked with a mortgage man this evening, and will give him the rest of the info necessary tomorrow to get a formal pre-approval letter. We're pretty sure we qualify for more money than we intend to spend.

The next part is finding a real estate agent.

But the tricky part is finding a livable house in our price range that isn't thirty miles from where Nerdstar currently works. She's currently working in Maryland, fairy close to DC. We're probably an equal distance from DC the other direction. Unfortunately, Maryland is a pretty liberal state and has really raised taxes in the past year and has dramatically fallen in it's ratings as a business friendly state. Not good. If a state can't attract and/or keep businesses, then the tax burden becomes even higher.

That leaves us looking in a fairly expensive county in Virginia. The more affordable neighborhoods are another twenty miles further from her current job.

Now, she's not happy with her current job and it's a safe bet she won't be there a year from now. But most jobs of the type she's in are located in let's say a thirty mile radius of DC. DC is not a city to buy a house in - for a lot of the same reasons as Maryland, plus more crime.

Our real estate agent is really going to earn their money with us.

Ok, so. Buying a house. One big life decision.

Add to that the possibility of Nerdstar still having to go away for a few months to Officer Basic Course. What sucks is that she's been putting this off for a long time when now it turns out it might have been better if she'd just gotten it over with a year ago. But still, if she has to, she has to - maybe in April. She's still waiting for all this medical review stuff regarding her back - but she can't get any answers about it. Now, our lease is up in May, so we're hoping for a closing date in April. It's not that I couldn't move stuff into the new house without her, it just wouldn't be any fun!

We're kinda torn about all of that, because we've decided if this whole house thing is a total failure, we'll take the money we've saved for a down payment and just head back to Austin and be poor and happy. I could get the same kind of job there, but the type of work she does in limited to the DC area. It's hard to give up the salary she makes.

We'll be happy here for a while if we get a house, and there's certainly still much I want to do and see here. But, you know how we feel about Austin.

As if all that wasn't enough fun for our little brains - we're also trying to have a baby. I don't blog much about it because there's nothing much to blog. We've had two tries at getting her preggers, no luck. What would suck most about her going to OBC is the delay in more tries, if she doesn't succeed before April.

So that's our life these days.

Work and Such

I keep hoping to work at least a couple of days a week at the doc offices. I worked last Thursday and Friday, and haven't heard anything from them since. Ugh. Yesterday that was probably ok as I was kinda ill all day - tummy troubles and a slight fever.

I've talked about maybe going back to office work. I still don't want to go buy a whole new wardrobe.

One other option is to work for one of the two major lab companies, although I know they don't treat their employees all that well. That might become more of an option soon though.

The other unknown out there is the hope that we'll be buying a house soon. And I have a feeling that house will be over in Maryland and not all that close to where we now live. Provided we can fight a cheap, nice house in a decent neighborhood.

The reason I was hoping this current job would work out three or four days a week is that it would give me time to do house hunting during the week. And if we're moving maybe 30 miles north, I think it'd be smart to wait to find office work then and there.

But, it would also suck to not work more than a few days a month for the next three or so months. Bleh.

UPDATE: Of course, they called me to work tomorrow. woo hoo.

Weekend and Wii Workouts

My cold was relatively mild and short lived - for which I am very grateful. I took Zinc and Mucinex and that's about it. There never seems to be a cold medicine that has the right combination of symptoms and actually works.

We've had a pretty quiet weekend. We took Ramen dog to the park yesterday. It's amazing how he knows which days we should take him. I'm sure it has to do with both of us being home and sleeping in.

Then last night we drove up to Baltimore to go see the rodeo. J&B met us up there. It was fun! Nerdstar has two events in Vegas that she always wants to go to - the Pro Rodeo finals, and the adult video awards.

Today is more relaxing and some working out.

We've had the Wii Fit for a while - but it's too repetitive and ended up being hard to get a good solid workout on. For Christmas, Nerdstar got me My Fitness Coach for the Wii. We got it all set up - it actually asks you for body measurements - but my cold set in and we haven't done any workouts with it yet. It also asks you what workout equipment you have at home - so we'll see how well it incorporates them. And it looks like there's a place to add in additional workouts - like if we go do the treadmills in our little apartment complex gym.

Christmas Recap

Our travels were nice and smooth, which you can never count on during winter and/or the holidays. The airport wasn't desolate Christmas day, but it wasn't too busy either. Christmas night we actually were wrapping gifts and getting things ready for the next day when The Kid got there. So our Christmas was actually the 26th. It was the usual open presents, eat and nap.

The next day I finally got my Whataburger - they were closed Christmas day. Then we went to Six Flags holiday in the park. It was mostly warm during the day, but really windy! I got to ride several roller coasters - which is always a good thing. The Kid is just big enough to ride a few of them, so that was cool. Plus there was funnel cake!

Sunday was sleeping in and then bowling, pool and air hockey. Nerdstar and I are much better at Wii bowling than actual bowling alley bowling! We had the gutter guards up for The Kid, so he totally beat us both games.

Monday was just hanging out until our evening flight. We decided to take a chance and park at the metro station (which at least used to have "no overnight parking" signs) because the cheap long term parking lot at the airport was full. I was fairly certain the car wouldn't be towed or anything, I'd had some coworkers say they'd parked there for trips. It all worked out and we spent a total of $16 bucks to get to the airport and park instead of $100. Nice!

While all of the above was fun, it was hard, as usual, to be at my parents' house. My brother can be a complete dickhead and yells too much sometimes. My mother has a complete inability to stop talking. And I'm just not close to my dad. They're all quite used to their disfunction, so I'm the odd man out. i wish I knew how to handle it better, but I don't. I finally fully realized that's why I'm never all excited about Christmas. I hope that changes in the future.

For now it's good to be back home. We always miss the pets and our nice comfy bed. I went and got Ramen from the pet resort - now he's crashed out on the floor. Little Man is crashed out by me on the sofa. And Silly as the bed all to herself. Life is good.

Plans

Still waiting for our actual holidays to get started. Nerdstar had to work today, hoping she gets out of there soon. Then we get to take the dog to some overly fancy dog spa/hotel for his Christmas vacation. We're paying for him per night almost what we'd pay for a nice cheap hotel on some of our road trips. Then they have all sorts of extras that are almost amusing. No, I'm not feeling at all guilty for not buying him a cardio job, or tender loving cuddles, or a water work out. It's the ultimate in nickle and dimed.

We fly to Dallas tomorrow. I'm not expecting any weather hassles, it'll be in the 50s here and there tomorrow. I have to wrap the presents I had sent directly there by Amazon.

The Kid gets there the day after christmas, so things will really start then.

Mostly, i can't wait for some Whataburgers!!

Once again, Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Lonely

It's the weekend before Christmas and I'm home alone. Yep, feeling pretty lonely.

We've lived here for almost two years and we have one couple that we're kinda friends with, that's it. I really have to find a way to make some friends this coming year. I sometimes think maybe finding a church to go to would help. Back in my churchgoing days I had a lot of close friends. I lost those friends due to the gay thing, or the distance thing, or whatever thing. So I have mixed feelings about all of it. But in the eleven plus years since then, I haven't made too many other good friendships. Work friends that stay friends after jobs are rare, but cool.

It's been since before I met Nerdstar that I really had a close friend/confidant.

Blog friends are good - otherwise I wouldn't write this blog. But it's not the same as hanging out.

Sigh.

Grandpa Update

He's doing much better and they hope to let him go home in three or four days. He's 90 and I thank God this wasn't more serious. This is such a sucky time of year go get/be sick, but I think lots of people get sick due to all the stress.

Nerdstar and her sister and having a decent time shopping and doing the gradation stuff.

Home Alone

Nerdstar's grandpa got sick a couple of days ago, got a fever he couldn't shake and a wet cough. Her sister took him to the hospital and got him checked in. Nerdstar flew down today to go be with him and make sure he's ok. After losing grandma a couple of years ago, she's really afraid of losing grandpa, too. She was scheduled to go down to Houston this weekend anyway for her sister's graduation from culinary school.

Grandpa apparently has a bad respiratory infection, they're hoping the antitbiotics will help overnight.

Say a little prayer for them all.

Oh Hell No.

I'm pretty sure I've got a wisdom tooth growing in. Ugh. I'm 40 years old. WTF?

When I was in 3rd grade, my dentist knew he was going to be putting braces on me, and apparently just couldn't wait. He said I had Cadillac teeth in a Volkswagen mouth - my teeth were too big. So he pulled six baby teeth and then four permanent teeth out of the bone. Not a fun day. Once all of that healed, I was in braces for almost two years and they tortured me monthly.

I hate going to the dentist. I've done it less than five times in the past ten or fifteen years.

I simply can't imagine having this new growth pulled out. Hell, it's way back in the back and they would have a hard time even fitting the necessary equipment in my mouth. I would want to be totally knocked out before they even did the first shot in my mouth. The last time I had my teeth cleaned they used that stuff that is rubbed on to make your gums numb - she swore it always worked and no one ever felt anything. I DID.

I just hate it.

So it just needs to stop growing, moving, whatever. RIGHT. NOW.

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is no rational explanation for it, but I am more at peace and optimistic and thankful this year than I remember feeling in the past.

I'm even trying to download some decent versions of traditional Christmas carols. Ugh. This from someone who generally believes Halloween and Thanksgiving are a one day holidays, and there should be no hint of Christmas at all until after Thanksgiving. Even then, maybe we should only have them every other year. They just seem to lose their meaning when "the holidays" last for three months every year.

Anyway. Can't say that life is significantly different this Thanksgiving than last. Once again, though, I'm hopeful this time next year will be different. That same old dream of a house and a baby.

I know things are hard for a lot of people at this time. I hate that.

So I pray you enjoy this Thanksgiving with loved ones. And that you truly have a list of things to be thankful for.

Enjoy the turkey and the football and the naps and the friends and family at your table.

Another Good Weekend

Now that I'm working again, I really, really appreciate weekends again!

Yesterday we did our part for the economy and spent about $100 on a couple of pounds of coffee, four pair of socks, and some new insoles for my tennis shoes I work in. Yes, we're coffee and sock snobs!

We had a good lunch at a place we hadn't been to in a while.

Then we had the maintenance man turn our pilot light for the fireplace back on and show us how to get it to heat the room - it really does! I turned the whole thing off when we first moved in because I didn't want to pay for the gas to use it. We'll see how much it costs us this month, and if it's too much I know how to turn it back off. When we eventually buy a house, one of the "musts" is that it have a wood burning fireplace.

Ramen dog thinks that any day we're both home means it's dog park day. So today was his day. We took him to the park and then to get a bath - he's so shiny and fluffy!!

We still gotta get some groceries, including a turkey for Thanksgiving. Yummy!

Another Good Weekend

We had a really nice weekend. The weather has been nearly perfect.

Friday night we went to dinner and then to see Zack and Miri Make A Porno. Nerdstar's a fan of Kevin Smith, has read a couple of his books and we've both listened to his podcasts for a while now. We'd been looking forward to the movie. It was pretty good. Some parts were just sort of ho-hum and others had us really laughing. What makes it all more fun for us to watch is that Nerdstar's lifelong dream has been to make pornos. Seriously. Not necessarily to be IN them, but to make them.

Saturday was home cooked breakfast day, then off to the dog park with Ramen dog. Last weekend was supposed to be the Halloween party at the dog park, but it rained all day last Saturday, so we found out when we got there they had moved it to yesterday. There were a ton of dogs there. A few were in costumes and such. We've often joked about how Ramen used to be homeless, using drugs, and ending up in porn (yes there's a theme there) before we found him at the shelter. But it would be pretty hard to turn any of those things into a suitable costume. We joked we could put him in ratty clothes and give him one of those kid-sized grocery carts. But I don't think anyone would really get it.

Then we took the motorcycle out for a spin. That's always nice. We ended the day with a decent dinner out.

Today was lazy day. Laundry, a trip to the library, a trip to the grocery store.

We just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was ok. Decent but not the best we've seen.

Just In Time

I finally heard back from the lab I interviewed with. I have a day and a half of orientation next week and then will do two weeks of training and then see what the schedule holds after that. I'm not starting off full time, but will fill in as people take time off. It'll be good to ease back into working.

It's just in time because my brain is starting to turn on me being home this much. I have an evil brain that likes dark thoughts.

Yesterday was nice, though. I took the motorcycle out for a little while. I rode down past Mount Vernon again to the little park by the water. It's such a pretty area. The trees here are starting to turn fall colors, but it's not at it's peak yet from what I remember from last year. Anyway, there's just something about riding through beautiful areas that's good for the soul.

Clothes

I know most people like to do spring cleaning, but I find cold, rainy weather brings out the cleaner in me. Or maybe it's because I've got all this time on my hands and I'm feeling restless. I tackled part of our closet yesterday looking for cooler weather wear. Because a decent sized closet and three chest of drawers just isn't enough room, there were lots of clothes in piles and hard to sort through. We got them more neatly organized. (Nerdstar came home in the middle of my project and got to help out some.)

I'd say 80% of the clothes and shoes we own are Nerdstar's. She loves shopping, unfortunately, mostly for shoes and t-shirts. Me, I hate shopping because I'm too fat. What sucks is that if I just lost about ten to twenty pounds I could wear a lot more of her clothes. Her chest is bigger than mine, but I have a bigger belly. She also tends to buy tight fitting stretchy stuff. Another reason I don't have many clothes is due to wearing scrubs to work for the past few years. That to me is/was a great reason to stay in that line of work!

I'm working out with the Wii Fit, so far the amount of working out I'm doing must be breaking even with whatever I'm eating. I'm not losing weight yet, but I'm not gaining any either. I have had sore muscles, I need to stretch more. I've been the same weight for over a year, now if I can just start losing a little.

Anyway, I didn't intend to write any of this! Funny how often that happens when I open up MT to blog.

Monday

You know it's a really interesting day when you're to do list includes things like cutting your nails. shaving your legs, and cleaning the toilet. Throw in a trip to the grocery store to buy a few things and man, I'm not sure I can handle the excitement.

Zoo

We decided the weather was absolutely perfect for going to the zoo, Nerdstar's favorite place.

It was a wonderful day. The humans are the most fun to watch.

"There's a river of people that runs past my eyes, and it's beautiful enough just to watch it go by." Ani

Not Fun

Well, our PC got some nasty, nasty virus. I spent quite a while yesterday trying to get rid of it. Then last night we went and got Norton, but that didn't even work. I was up until about 3 a.m. working on it. So, it either needs to be shot or taken in for professional care. Ugh. It got something similar a week or so ago, and I was able to do a system restore to a prior date and fix it, not this time. We've got the Mac, but it doesn't have all the same stuff on it as the PC, so that's kind of a pain in the butt. I've got most everything backed up on a thumb drive, but so much of isn't compatible with a Mac. Fun.

Also, yesterday morning when I was in the shower, the smoke alarm started going off, I have no idea why. Scared poor Ramen to death. By the time I got out of the shower it stopped. Then did a couple more short alarms. So I just unhooked the thing. I hooked it back up today, so far so good.

I hate when things don't work. It kinda drives me a little crazy. My brain works non-stop to solve problems, so if there's something hanging out there needed to be fixed or whatever it's hard to let it be for a while.

Saturday

I woke up feeling a little guilty for just quitting like I did. One thing about this job - I often found it making me be an asshole, and I don't like that. There are a few reasons, maybe not good ones, why I just quit instead of doing the whole two week notice thing. Most of them have to do with mr manager man. Back in March when I was ready to quit, he was perfectly willing to let me go, no questions asked really. That's when I went over his head and ended up working the 3 day a week schedule. So I didn't figure I owned him more this time. Another big reason was I just didn't want to listen to him cuss and throw a fit when I told him I'd be leaving. I found out yesterday another lady just gave him her two week notice! He's also bad about telling everyone what they want to hear, and then not really doing what he says. I figured he'd done that to me again, causing problems with the new supervisor chick. Bottom line is, he's been a bad manager the whole time I worked there. I didn't feel like dealing with him or the drama for the next two weeks.

Anyway. It's done.

I really don't know what's next because we're waiting on some other news in the next two weeks regarding Nerdstar's work situation.

Today we went and got massages. Nice. I'll be sore later, but it's worth it. It's also the best moisturizing your skin can get! Then we had lunch at a little Irish pub/fish place. Best fish and chips I've had.

Nerdstar's family in Houston is fine, and really, really hoping the electricity isn't out for long.

Done

Well, for better or worse I quit my job this afternoon. It won't fully sink if for a while.

Who knows what's next.

More of Today

Yesterday was stressful enough, I was hoping for a quiet, productive day today. There's laundry to be done, books to be picked up at the library, and then taking the dog to the park to burn off some of his cabin fever.

There was a nasty incident at the dog park. One man was there with his dog, and on the way to the enclosed area, Ramen dog pooped, and no, I didn't pick it up. I didn't take any poop bags with me because there are usually some at the park, and the place he pooped wasn't where anyone walks. I heard the man yell "pick it up" and ignored him. About ten minutes, maybe less after we got into the park, the man and his dog were leaving. The man came over and was a complete ass, so I told him he was being an asshole. Then ended up telling him to fuck off. I'm sick of people bossing people around, being bullies. If he'd started the conversation off nicely, I would have been nicer in response.

This park has a fence around it with two gates - one right after the other, so you can come in the first gate, close it, unleash your dog(s), and then let them in the second gate. This park is also 50 yards from 6 lanes of local traffic.

On his way out the man deliberately left BOTH gates wide open. When I went to close them Ramen came running through them, out them and down the street. I yelled after the man who was already 100 yards or so down that street that he was a complete son of a bitch. At first Ramen was going away from the street, perpendicular to it, down by a creek. But before I could get him to come to me - and right about the time he was close to the man - he darted into the street and was almost hit by a car. At that time I'm yelling at the man to GET HIM and he doesn't.

Thankfully at that point Ramen came back to me. He didn't even seem to be phased by any of it.

I don't know when I've ever been so angry at another person. At that time I wished with all my heart that gypsy curses and/or voodoo dolls worked so I could punish him terribly. This is nothing I could have done or said for him to endanger my dogs life.

Fail

Apparently I am not even capable of quitting a job.

There was more b.s. with the new chick this morning - which either means she's evil or my boss is a liar. Either is a possible explanation. And so I spent all day waiting to quit. I really don't want to talk to my boss about it. There is nothing to be gained and all he's going to do is throw a fit that I'm not giving him two weeks notice. Now, if that two weeks wouldn't be full of more b.s. I might consider staying two more weeks. But, honestly, I'm done. One of the basic realizations is just how much no one there appreciates just how much more I get done every day than they do. If fact, I'm pretty sure a lot of them resent me for several different reasons. So - they can suck it. I finally realized that there's no making this situation better. The new chick could have come in and treated me as an ally instead of apparently trying to put me in my place.

Ok, so as to the actual quitting - my brilliant plan was to wait for my boss to leave for the day. He's rarely there past 2:30 or 3, I leave at 4. Then when it was time to go home I was just going to hand my badge and keys over to the assistant manager who's mostly cool and tell him I'm not coming back. But nooo... boss man just had to work late today. Plan blown.

One way or another I will quit Friday.

I do need to see if I can get with the employee health nurse Friday and get updated records of my TB tests and such so I'll have them.

Possibilities

On the surface life looks like it's slowly moving along, nothing really happening. But there are some slightly possible changes out there and thinking about them all has my brain all exhausted.

I decided I really am sick of my job and might as well start looking into other options. It's no secret I hate the whole process of finding a new job, but I'm trying to take it slow and steady. At my current job, the afternoon supervisor position went to someone who I should have known from the day it was announced it was going to go to. I was slightly annoyed that our manager just didn't tell everyone from the start that the position was created for this person. Hope she enjoys it - I'm not sure she knows what all she's in for. I'm mostly relieved I didn't get it.

So after spending several days mulling over and discussing all my job related stuff, Nerdstar comes home yesterday and says she's in talks with yet another company - one she's tried to get hired by in the past. The big news there is if it works out we'd be moving halfway across the country again. (Unfortunately not to Texas.)

Throw in some really difficult state of our relationship conversations, and I'm ready to roll over and play dead for a while. I'd like some stability please.

Weekend

The rest of our long weekend was really nice. One thing about living in the DC area that I find weird, but good for us, is how this place empties out on holiday weekend. There was very little traffic. Unfortunately, it also meant they were working on the metro train lines and they weren't very user friendly.

We spent a lot of the weekend taking Nerdstar's friend to a few of our local favorite restaurants.

Yesterday we were in DC proper and it was like a ghost town, not even the usual throng of toursits. Nice! We went to the Spy Museum. It's pretty cool.

Oh yeah. We went to see Tropic Thunder the other night. I'm not a fan of Ben Stiller, so I wasn't really excited about seeing this movie. It was hysterical! I was really surpised at how smart it is.

Celebrities

We've had a celebrity filled couple of days this week. Well, celebrities to us.

Thursday we turned on our urban hipster mode and went over to a cool little neighborhood in DC to an even cooler little bar, Bourbon, that served the best burgers we've ever had in a restaurant, to hear Whitney of Pop Candy do an interview and Q&A. She also did some dj spinning, but we were too old to stay out that late on a school night. We spoke with Whitney for a few minutes. In spite of having one of the coolest jobs out there, she is really, really nice.

Then yesterday afternoon we were out and about with a friend of Nerdstar's (and now mine) at the local upscale mall and I recognized Newt Gingrich hanging out talking on his phone. Now, I realize 90% of my readers probably don't like the man, but I've been a huge fan of his ideas for a long, long time. Yes, he's a Republican, but his main goal is problem solving. Anyway. We kept hanging around waiting for him to get off the phone, but that wasn't happening. I sent Nerdstar and her friend off to shop and I hung out a bit longer. Then his wife met up with him, but he was still on the phone. Anyway. I did finally get to shake his hand, tell him I appreciate all his work, and that although I didn't buy his book, I did check it out of the library the other day :-)

But when it comes to hanging with celebrities, Nerdstar's friend lives on Hawaii's North Shore - so they're a dime a dozen to her.

Nada

Nothing new around here. That's not a bad thing. Just watching people run very fast in the Olympics. Kinda cool.

Looks like I'm waiting to see what my boss decides about who's going to be afternoon supervisor. Still not really leaning either way.

Nerdstar's going to take two weeks leave of absence from one job to go give another job a trial run. It's certainly nice to be able to try out a job before totally committing to it.

Week Update

Can't say this was my favorite week. Nerdstar and I keep getting into tiffs over my culture vs yours. But we keep getting into even bigger tiffs over just how much time the army takes up when it's only supposed to take one weekend a month and two weeks a year. Ugh. I am so sick of the army. I understand there are things she gets out of it, but I'm hoping she finds those things in other ways soon.

That's on top of staying up too late too many nights watching the Olympics. I'm getting a little bored now, at least they switch to track and field soon - so we can watch people fast on land as opposed to in the water.

As for Phelps, I think Lance Armstrong's 7 Tour victories are much more amazing. Plus Tiger's record. And I'm not sure I'll ever think an athlete is better than Jordan. Even in this Olympics, there are people like May and Walsh who'd have more medals than Phelps if they got one for every win instead of just one for the whole tournament. Yes, theirs is a team sport, but still... I'm not saying I'm not impressed with Phelps, just that I don't think he's the greatest.

All of this had made me grumpy at work. Not good. Today was better though.

A while back I was supposed to have an interview with this other company to work at a lab closer to home. While I was in Cali a different guy from that agency called about the same position. Ugh. So I decided to check it out. I had the interview yesterday. It was ok, but I'm still not 100% yippee about working for the other company.

To make it more fun, my current boss sent out an email saying he wants to hire a "assistant supervisor" for the 9:30 to 6 shift. Heh. That wouldn't be so funny if there wasn't already a supervisor on that shift screwing everything up. So, I told him I was interested. Problem is, he's out of town soon and won't be making any decisions until after the 2nd. I gotta put the other job stuff on hold.

I could also end up leaving thing just like they are - which is also fine. As of today I'm not thrilled about any particular option.

Update

Yesterday was a decent day.

I had looked at a map of the area around here and found a road that goes along the Potomac and thought it would be a cool motorcycle ride. I don't ride as much around here as I'd like because it's generally pretty scary to drive a car around here, and I take it personally when someone tries to run me over on my motorcycle and it makes me feel all homicidal. Not fun.

Anyway. The weather was perfect and I taped my little map to the gas tank and off I went. Then, I proceeded to misread the map and kept having to make u-turns. Thankfully, the original route wasn't too terribly long, because I ended up doing it all wrong. Instead of riding about 45 miles, I rode about 70. The upside is that the gas in the tank was getting old and I needed to use it up and put new stuff in.

It is a cool road with some nice places to stop and watch the river roll by, and it goes right in front of Mount Vernon, which is kinda neat. I'll take Nerdstar once she gets back.

Then I watched a couple of dvds.

First up was Big Rig. It was ok. The coolest part of watching it was seeing all the places we'd been to on all of our road trips.

Then I watched a sad little film called The Dead Girl. I wouldn't recommend it. Not sure why I thought it would be good and Netflixed it. I try to avoid those kind of movies - dark and independent. It's like watching too much CSI, real life can suck enough, don't need to watch that sort of thing. (Shut up, I know Buffy has it's dark stuff, but in the end it's all good.)

Not much planned for the weekend so far. I'm pretty sick of my own company.

Oh, but I have gone out and played some free poker lately at a nearby restaurant. Too many of the people are missing too many of teeth for my taste, but I did meet one nice couple. Bonus, in one tourney I got 4th place out of about 65 people, in another I got 7th. Not too shabby.

Half Way

Well, we're at the halfway point until I see my Nerdstar again. I think this is the least depressed I've been of all the times she's been away from home. I'm doing a decent job of getting some things done on my days off, and keeping myself entertained. We've also gotten to talk a lot more this time, which also helps tremendously!

She's not having any fun at all and finds the whole thing pretty frustrating. I'm proud of her for stepping up when things need to be done, and for not going postal as I probably would.

Not much planned for the rest of the weekend. I finished up the John Adams series the other night. I didn't know he and Abigale were married for over 50 years. Wow.

I decided to try to tackle Democracy In America by Alexis DeTocqueville. I think I got a good translation of both volumes. We'll see how much of it I get read, but I think it's worth trying.

Other than that I'm still finishing up season 6 of Buffy. I'm going to start at the beginning of Doctor Who and see how far I get.

Stream of Consciousness

It's 9:41 p.m. Saturday night and I'm surfing around the internet, trying not to feel too lonely, or to think too much, or to let too much boredom in. It wasn't a bad day, but...

About 11 years ago, maybe closer to 12 by now, I first heard Ani Difranco. Wow. Within a month of hearing Shameless and a couple of other songs for the first time, I had every cd she had made. And while I can't agree with her politics, I still think she should be required listening for every 12 year old - boys and girls.

So, I'm listening to a webstream of some performance of hers, and feeling wistful and nostalgic.

About the time I found Ani, I found lesbian chatrooms. Sometimes I miss them. Sure, they were full of drama and bullshit, but I also made some good friends. Blogging is similar, but not really the same.

Pause...

After reading the book that had the stuff about Greta Garbo the other day, I Netflixed Ninotchka, one of her later movies. As many old movies as I've watched, I had never seen one of hers. If I hadn't read the biography of Stalin I wouldn't have enjoyed the movie nearly as much. It was also interesting watching her knowing how much she later couldn't bring herself to make any more movies and hated what we would call the celebrity side of life.

Pause...

Ok, now, don't laugh. I caught Herbie Fully Loaded on my tv late last night and I watched a lot of it because of Ms Lohan being in it and all the news of her and her g/f Sam lately. And honestly. I feel bad for Ms Lohan. Right up until I had my first g/f my senior year of high school, I had lots of boyfriends. I know how weird it is for everyone to wrap their heads around the idea of "oh, you're with a girl now." But imagine if you had to figure all that out while also being some "movie star" with a particular image to maintain to keep working and all that crap. And even with all of our *cough* lesbian role models out there - I don't think it's like she's got people around her to help her with this whole new identity thing. No, I don't see Ellen picking up the phone and saying "hey, welcome to club - here's some tips on things." Hmmm, did find this nice blurb on Gawker (through Goggle, I don't normally read Gawker.)

Anyway. Just something taking up way too much of my brain.

Pause...

The six hour time difference between here and Hawaii is a total pain in my ass.

Pause... (Mom and The Kid called)

Not sure you've noticed the Grocery Shrink Ray phenon, but The Consumerist has been all over it - and it pisses me off every time I read about. Now I guess I need to pay more attention and stop buying products manufacturers do this to.

Pause...

Thank God for limitless texting. It's the easiest way for us to keep in touch since the Army is keeping her rather busy with early morning runs (ha ha ha) and meeting after meeting after meeting.

Long Pause...

Last but not least in this way too long post. Patton Oswalt's speech he gave at his former high school's graduation. Via Michele.

It's 11:22 now, and I need a shower and to at least try to sleep soon.

Rest of the Weekend

Friday we finally got things worked out with LA-Z Boy. Apparently it was a delivery mistake and not the crazy sales ladies. They had canceled out the order after Nerdstar called Thursday, so we stopped by Friday and resigned the paperwork and were guaranteed Sunday delivery.

Yep, we have a new sofa. Of course, then the delivery guys fleeced us for $25 cash to take the old one away. Not wanting to hassle with it, we paid it.

Saturday we had some fun. I've been wanting to try river kayaking for quite a while. I found a place over in Maryland that offers classes. I thought that would be a cool thing to do for this 4th weekend since we didn't go out of town or anything. Thankfully it was cloudy and about 80 and not hot and sunny! It was really nice to be out on the river. The instructor was nice and there were about ten other people in the class.

One good thing to learn is that you should start out paddling against the current, that way when you're tired and on your way back to where you started, you can mostly just float. I knew about currents and such in rivers, but man, it was still tiring. One of the frustrating things about being with a group was not being able to really rest when I needed to. If it had been just Nerdstar and I, we would have been out there for about two hours instead of over three, and at a slower pace. But, I know it's always good to take a class before trying something new, though.

I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be today, but my left arm is still pretty weak from too much use! Maybe eventually I'll find us some cheap used kayaks.

The best part of yesterday was going for lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Houston's. We even had some good key lime pie!

Today the sofa was delivered and our other goal is to go wash the dog. There's a self wash place close to here that's really cool. And the shampoo and conditioner they have there is really good stuff.

Rant

I'm so tired of feeling nickel and dimed and ripped off in this damn city.

We went out to eat last week, parked in the nearest parking garage, took our ticket with us to the restaurant. The waiter said we didn't need validation on the ticket - just our receipt, which is kinda how I remembered it working last time we went and didn't take the receipt with us. Of course, we go to leave the garage and the attendant says we have to have the ticket stamped, NOT the receipt. Fuckers. It was $3 buck, but frustrating.

Last Wednesday night we went to LA-Z Boy a couple of blocks away and found a sofa we liked that was comfy, even if in a color we didn't like. So we went back Thursday to purchase it. It was easier to buy my new car. The ladies there just couldn't seem to get their heads out of their butts. They were very nice, just incompetent on the computers. Fine. Then the terms of the sale kept differing from the promotions advertised on the signs in the store. Fine. When we left we were under the impression the sofa would be delivered Tuesday. Nope. When Nerdstar called they said it wasn't scheduled - why not? you said it was when we left the store - so they scheduled it for today. Again, nope. They said they'd schedule it for Sunday. At that point, I'm all fuck em. If they can't get their shit together, they can't have my money. So, she called them back and canceled the whole thing. Now we just have to see if they actually refund the $350 we had to put down.

Now, what sucks is we have to start over looking for a new sofa. I tried their website hoping we could purchase it online and avoid the dumbfucks - that particular sofa isn't for sale online, of course. We could to do a different store location and start over with them. Maybe. The next closest store is at least 30 minutes away.

I wish these events were out of the ordinary, but they don't seem to be.

Waitstaff at all the different places we eat can be hit or miss. Too often it feels like we're invisible.

Ugh.

Another Weekend

Friday evening for dinner we met up with this couple we first met down in Austin who moved here before we did. The wife is Korean and the husband a white dude. Their little boy is such a cutie.

Later things got rocky, Nerdstar and I had one of our rare but unnerving "how do we make this relationship work or not work" conversations. I don't write much about our relationship, partly because I'm not at all sure how to make some of it make any sense. It mostly works for us, we've mostly had the same problems all 9 years, which I hear is normal. We tend to have troubles with the same things all couples have trouble with - communication and money. But we have more fun that not. If only she loved me as much as she loves food.... (one of these days I'll write out a list of all the times she exhibits a deep and profound love of food that I've never seen her display over me).

That made work Saturday rather rough. I was in no mood to be nice to sick dumbasses.

Then we did some lunch and shopping.

Last night we met up with a new member of her reserve unit that recently moved to the DC area and his wife and little boy. The wife is Chinese and is going to be in Beijing as a translator at the Olympics, how cool is that? It's always tricky when I'm with her around her army peeps, but we don't worry about it too much. A few weeks ago we even went out on a boat with her commander's commander. That woman knew exactly how to do "don't ask/don't tell." Most people mess up the don't ask part because they're unaware that even asking if you're married, or have kids, or who you live with can be tricky questions for gay people and could in some way "out" them.

Today was more shopping. It turned into an expensive weekend, but it's all stuff we need.

We've also been watching "I Love the New Millenium" on VH1 - simple pleasures.

No real plans for the 4th. It sounds like it would be cool to be down on the National Mall for all the events and fireworks, but it's really a long, hot day down there, so I'm not sure we'd be up to it. We thought about going out of town, but it looks very likely Nerdstar's going to have to go to Hawaii again next month for her annual training with her army unit. Ugh. More on that later.

Hope your weekend was a good one!!

Emtpy Again

We had a really good time having The Kid and my brother here. Although it was weird having gross boys in the house.

Tuesday we took them out to the Air and Space Museum out by Dulles Airport (as opposed to the one in DC). We spent hours looking at all kinds of airplanes, it was cool.

That night he saw our racketball rackets and wanted to go play - so we took him over to the courts and played for a while. It was funny.

Wednesday Nerdstar had to work, so my brother and I took The Kid to the Natural History Museum so he could see all the dinosaurs and stuff. He loved it. It was more fun for him because there were more hands on things - which is important for kids who can't read all the info yet. That night was more racketball.

Thursday we decided to sleep in and just went to see Kung Fu Panda.

Here's a funny video of The Kid after seeing the movie.

Invaded!

We're being invaded by boys tonight!! My brother and The Kid are flying in from Dallas until Thursday. I'm pretty excited. It's The Kid's first flight. They called from the airport a little delayed and The Kid is all thrilled!

We're going to take him to the Air and Space Museum tomorrow so he can see all these airplanes up close. Then Wed. we'll take him to the Natural History Museum and watch his jaw hit the floor when he sees the dinosaur skeletons. I can't wait. I'll try to get some pics and video.

Pity Party

Welcome to my little one person pity party.

It's 3:37 am and I can't sleep. In fact, I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in over a week. I always thought that when you were sick that was one thing you could at least do - catch up on lots of sleep. And it's not like I can use all that time being awake to get anything done around the house because I don't have the energy. Day 1 I was delirious all day. Day 2 I dropped everything I picked up. At least Day 4 I got a day of work in, since I'd missed the rest of the week. Day 5 I spent half of at the doctor and then at WalMart trying to get my meds.

What being awake all the damn time does allow me to do is spend even more time with myself. Ugh. I'm so sick of my own company. I swear my brain is Satan. I won't even get into that mess.

I'm not sure there's anything I hate more than having a sore throat. Although it seems to be an effective weight loss solution. But wanting to cry almost every time I have to swallow is getting old fast. Trying to speak is almost as bad. And that really sucks when my Nerdstar doesn't hear me half the time anyway and I have to repeat myself.

Well. Ok. Pray the antibiotics work soon and thanks for listening.

Strep is no fun

Turns out I actually have Strep Throat. Go figure. I've never had it before. So far it's not fun.

I had been resisting going to the doctor because when I went to part time at work I gave up having insurance. I'm not big on paying for things I don't use, so I usually hate paying for health insurance. I'm not usually sick. (This year is really proving the exception to that...) Last year I did all my annual checkups and dental visits and I'm all good. And in any other city I've lived in I could see a doctor relatively cheaply for something like a sore throat. Not here in lovely DC. When I'd look at my doctor bills when I had insurance I noticed that just the charge for a regular office visit was over $100. I was hoping that this urgent care place our hospital has would be cheaper. Not so much. It cost me $200 for the doc and $35 for the strep test. I really didn't want to get the strep test because most illnesses like this are just some stupid virus you can't do anything about. Thankfully I kinda knew that something was wrong because I just wasn't getting any better. I did get 30% off for being a hospital employee. If I'd sucked it up and went to my doctor yesterday instead it probably would have cost less. Figures. But I didn't have the fever return and I didn't have those spots in my throat you usually get with strep.

Anyway. I understand doctors charge so much to cover all their costs, and because it's usually paid by insurance companies, so no one cares what the prices are. And trust me, the last thing I want to see is the government trying to implement universal health care. There are certainly plenty of "free clinics" around here I'm sure I could have used if I'd really wanted to - one of those weird advantages of not being able to get married, I'm technically poor while Nerdstar is technically rich. Hmmm maybe I should apply for food stamps or something, my take home pay barely covers our monthly food costs.

Yes, I'm rambling. Trust me, I'm actually much more coherent today. The worst thing today is the cough I've developed. I hate having a cough.

Nerdstar's in Houston visiting grandpa. I told her to get a strep test for her if she's not feeling too well.

Miserable

Apparently I caught another superbug on the flight home Monday. I went up to work for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon to help out with a project. I noticed my throat was starting to hurt - I hate that. Then by 4:00 yesterday I was shivering and couldn't get warm, fun with fevers. I had a fever of about 102 all night and it finally broke about 9 or 10 this morning. I was delirious all night which was really strange. Now I'm just weak and have spent all day dropping just about everything I pick up.

Next time I fly I'll be wearing a facemask!

Old School Photography

Several years ago I bought a Canon AE 1 camera. Then, on our trip from Seattle back to Austin it ate a couple of rolls of film and I put it away. But I miss the clarity of film photos and don't want to spend the money it would take to get a digital camera that takes photos that clear. I like the idea of enlarging pics I've taken to decorate parts of the house.

The other day I took the camera to a store around here and the older guy working there was really nice and told me it was probably because I was loading the film wrong. So he showed me how to make sure it was in there right and I bought some film to try it out.

I've never taken a photography class or even read up on tips or anything. I should have a much more dummy proof camera, but oh well.

Here's three sets of pics I took of the pets around the house and some at the dog park. I'll eventually get the settings for light right, and you know, learn how to focus! It was really weird not seeing the pics right after I took each one. There not too bad for a first set. They do look better in print than online.

UPDATE: Since my own blog wouldn't let me leave a comment - grrr...

Little Man will sit on the sofa next to me and just stare at me like that until I acknowledge him. If the staring doesn't work he'll start to slightly tap me on the arm with his paw. He's a very special kitty, short bus special!

Work and Not Work

I still have mixed feelings about this working part-time stuff.

The off days problems. I sometimes have a hard time finding useful things to do to fill up my two days a week off - you know, things other than playing online poker and watching movies. Part of that has been due to weather. It's been either cold or rainy or both and that doesn't help my self motivation problems. The organization I thought I might do some volunteering with hasn't worked out yet, maybe it's a slow time for them. Plus, every time they have an orientation I'm either out of town or working. I looked at another website for local volunteer opportunities, and just didn't see anything I'm interested in. You'd think there'd be enough house cleaning to keep my busy. I find I just don't like doing housework much. Or maybe I'm still waiting for it to feel enough like spring to do a good "spring cleaning."

Then there's the work part of life. It's no less stupid around work. I keep thinking if things at work improved I could go back to full time. But in spite of hiring several new people, there are still about four (of ten) doing 80% of the work. One of the new girls only lasted about two weeks - she was kinda nuts. I'm not sure how some of these people get through all the hiring process. We've got one lady at work who talks constantly. Literally. Things are also more chaotic at work, partly due to the new people. They just don't pay enough attention to details and mistakes are being made. This is not a job where mistakes should be tolerated. But they are. That frustrates me to no end. Our boss is on vacation for the next three weeks. Maybe the supervisor can get people better on track and making less mistakes.

I know it should be an enviable position to be in, not having to work all the time. I'm still working on how to make the most of it.

Weekend Update

Nerdstar had to journey to NJ for the last funeral for her father. I wish for her sake that her family was nicer, more supportive, but they're just not that kind of people.

Me, well, I'm just hangin with the pets this weekend. The weather was too nice to not take Ramen dog to the park. Plus, it tires him out for the day and the cats get a break from being chased. It's suppose to rain the next few days - ugh.

Other than that I'm watching basketball and taking long naps.

I watched part of the coverage of the Pope being here in DC and then in NY. I've been a Christian all of my life, but I've never really understood Catholicism. (I understand what all the Catholic church believes and it's history, I guess I just don't "get" why.) Anyway. His visit still seemed like a good/cool thing.

We decided to renew our lease for another year. Nerdstar was fantastic and got them to not raise our rent! If we're still here in six or seven months and aren't moving in the foreseeable future, we'll start looking at houses. But when Nerdstar gets job offers almost every other week or so, it's hard to say what's going to happen. Ninety percent of the those jobs are here in the DC area, but we can always hope for somewhere in Texas or the North West. As long as the $$ keeps going up :-)

Insult to Injury

It all started with not getting much sleep Friday night and then having to get up early Saturday to go to work. Work wasn't too bad, but I was really tired. Driving home I was just trying to relax and make it home for a nap. Then, BOOM - this lady rear-ended me at a poorly designed entrance ramp. I had thought about going, probably took my foot off the brake, saw a car coming and decided to go ahead and be safe and wait for it to pass. I'm sure she thought I was going to go, so she went.

I'm not hurt, which is a good thing. My poor little new car has a busted butt. :-( She's got decent insurance, so I'm going to drop it off for repairs Tuesday and get a rental car.

Could have been worse.

Then we met up with some friends to go see Run, Fat Boy, Run. It was really fun.

Warning: gross info on being sick.

When the movie ended I was feeling a little icky. I didn't even make it to the car and I had to puke. Ugh. That was bad enough, but once we got home it got worse. I had diarrhea every 30 minutes for the first three hours, then every hour and a half for the next six hours.

My best guess is I picked up some sort of bug at work.

I'm feeling weak but better. It all just felt like adding insult to injury yesterday. Thankfully we didn't have anything planned for today.

A Year Ago

One thing I said during Nerdstar's Iraq adventures was that I could only hope time continued to move so slowly once life got back to normal.

Well, a year ago we moved here to DC (start at the bottom), and it does seem to have been a long year. That first month was so terrible. We could never get internet access in the ghetto apartment, so we'd go to a diner with our laptops and try to get stuff done. One night when it was becoming apparent we couldn't stay at that apartment and were going to have to pack up everything AGAIN and find another place and all that hassle, we were sitting in the car at the diner and I pretty much just lost it. We discussed me actually just moving back to Austin and Nerdstar staying in DC. Not good.

Life in DC isn't our ideal life. But it's not a bad place to be. I've kinda gotten used to it taking forever to get somewhere and all the hassles of parking. We're about to renew our lease for another year. This time next year with any luck we'll be moving into a house.

But, there's just no telling where things will be this time next year.

Lonely Nights

My poor Nerdstar is about two hours into a 14 hour flight. I don't envy her at all. Plus, she didn't have time between flights to get a good meal. I did make sure we packed her up with some snacks, but my poor girl needs her food!

The timing didn't work out so that I could go with her - and really that's ok. When it comes to her family it's usually better if she deals with them on her own.

I spent my evening watching the new Ani Difranco dvd Live At Babeville. It's pretty good.

Well. I'm 40 now. Seems strange. 30 was a tumultuous time and seems like so long ago - mostly. This just might actually be the year the house and baby happen. If so I won't feel so bad about 40.

Whirlwind!!

Life just keeps coming. And while that's a good thing, really, it can be kind of exhausting.

Yes, it's 1:30 a.m. and Nerdstar is packing for her flight to Taiwan tomorrow at 11:30 a.m.

We had planned to go down to Asheville, NC and visit some friends, hang out, do some shopping for our birthdays. (The coolest part of having birthdays two days apart is taking trips to celebrate them!)

Those plans fell through and I thought, what the heck, let's go lose a few hundred bucks in Atlantic City. IF we had left for Asheville Wednesday night as I'd thought would be good, it would have ended up being bad.

Early Thursday morning before we left for AC, Nerdstar checked her email and found out that they were planning on cremating her father on Tuesday in Taiwan - which is 12 or 13 hours ahead of us. (If we'd been on our way to Asheville she might have gotten those emails too late to book a flight out.) Then after a phone call or two, she found out that it's actually on Monday.

Amazingly, she was able to make some phone calls while I was driving and arranged her flights from DC to Taiwan and back - and will get there Sunday night.

It wasn't the best of timing for us for a few reasons. She had thought it'd be at least another week or two before she had to fly over there. But that's how it goes. The important thing is her and her sister (who flew over today) will get to do these last things for their father.

Still Sad

It's so hard to process and grieve the sudden loss of a parent. And I can only be of so much help to my poor Nerdstar because both of my parents are still living.

Here's a second post of hers about the death of her father.

Sad Day

Nerdstar found out her father passed away today. Here's her post about it.

Weekend Update

Another quiet, lonely weekend around here for me and the pets. Nerdstar's over in Utah playing soldier again this weekend. Some sort of conference about things she's not involved in. I just keep telling her I have no sympathy for her boring, dreary, sleep deprived weekend.

There does seem to be some good news about her eventually getting out of the Army. She, rightly, decided the best way might be a medical discharge for her bad lower back. She's spent the past month or two seeings docs, getting an MRI and filling out forms. She finally submitted all of it and things seem to be progressing in the right direction. I'm not saying it's progressing very quickly - but it's progressing.

I haven't written about work lately, although I've been meaning to.

I'm really much, much happier at work now. Shifting the hours to 7:30 to 4 has relieved so much of the stress I was putting myself under. Now, the people who have to handle the last two hours of the day are mostly the people who were slacking off. Heh. The supervisor who's so useless is still utterly useless - complaining that they can't handle those two hours - when I've been handling them for months. But instead of making her step up, our manager is actually staying late himself some days to help her out. I think that's hysterical. Anyway, the point is none of it affects me any longer and that makes my days at work much better.

I do feel slight guilt when I'm not there Tuesday/Thursday. And I'm totally aware I've given up all rights to complain about anything at work - which can be hard when all everyone does it sit around and complain about everything. I can't say how much I wish it was Friday already, or that I didn't get any sleep and I'm tired, or anything like that.

The one thing that helps quiet that guilt is knowing that I'm still doing more registrations in 3 days than some people are doing in 5. I work hard when I'm there. I'm sure my coworkers have mixed feelings about my new schedule. On the upside I'm a lot more relaxed and upbeat. I guess the downside would be if they think it's selfish or unfair. Oh well...

Weekend Update

Just a semi-lazy day around the house for me today. Nerdstar's got Army drill this weekend, so I'm waiting for her to get home so we can go eat tonight!

I've spent the day so far cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry and buying stamps. Such major accomplishments!

Things at work should be better. It took my manager a week, but he finally talked to me about what I'd decided and we agreed to me working three days a week, 7:30 to 4 and staying in our every 3rd Saturday rotation. I told him it didn't matter to me if it was MTW or MWF, but it's mostly going to be MWF. I'm not sure how long I'll keep that schedule. Maybe in a while I'll go back to full time. I heard one of my co-workers is transferring to a different department, and another one got accepted to school and will be leaving in Mid-May. So with the change in hours, which takes a lot of stress off me, and if our manager actually hires some decent folks, it might not be such a bad place to be every day. We'll see.

I've talked about how I've spent almost all day every day doing the computer side of our job instead of the blood drawing side of our job for quite a while now. The same people who bitch that I don't draw blood HATE doing the computer part, and also, they SUCK at doing the computer part. But the computer side is important because it's what keeps the patients moving through the process.

So when the bitching people decide they're going to do the computer part I say great and I get to draw blood. And inevitably the room comes to a complete standstill. For reasons beyond my comprehension they just can't get it done. In the past, that meant that I had to pick up a lot of slack and keep things moving because the end of the day was closing in. Now these folks will be responsible for it all without me the last two hours of the day. Heh. Our manager even had to admit I was right that they can't seem to get it done. Not that he's doing anything about it.

Anyway. One cool thing about getting back to drawing blood yesterday afternoon was what an ego boost it was. For whatever reason, patients really don't appreciate how efficiently I get their computer registration part done - ok, fine. But I'm also good with a needle and people always comment on that.

Yesterday I told a lady "have a nice weekend" and she said, "You, too." I said, "It's hard to have a bad weekend." she said, "Well, the weather might be cold and rainy." I said, "Even better - it'll be nice to sleep in." She laughed and said "What a positive outlook on life you have." ... That cracked Nerdstar and I up for a long time!

Weekend

We're mostly fast forwarding through the Oscars, because Jon Stewart - not.funny.

I was thinking if the Oscars were as big a deal as Hollywood wishes they were - then advertisers would be selling million dollar minutes for them like they do the Super Bowl, but they don't.

Anyway.

We had a decent weekend. We balanced out our cultural evening a couple of weekends ago when we saw MacBeth with going to the DC Rollergirls double header last night. It was lots of fun! We were familiar with the current incarnation of women's roller derby back when we lived in Austin, but we never got to go see a match. I was excited to see DC has a league. The first match wasn't as exciting as the second, but it was all fun to watch. The crowd was a little tame, but at least somewhat interesting to watch. If you ever get a chance to see women's roller derby - check it out, I know they've got leagues in a lot of cities.

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

Well, I think I'm about 90% sure I'm going to quit my job.

I finally asked my boss today if there was any way I could work part time and he said no. Okey dokey then. You'd think since he's already short a person or two, and I work really, really hard, that he'd find a way to make that work. But, no. The lab doesn't have part time positions. There's a slight chance I'll talk to his boss, but probably not.

I haven't given my two week notice yet, and would pretty much need to finish out the month anyway because one of the other people is taking two weeks off this month.

I also think my manager was a jerk when he gave the early shift to another guy instead of me. I don't love the idea of working 6:30 to 3 because I'd have to get up at 5 am. But... one of the reasons I'm going to quit is that I'm tired of being tired, and I'm tired of not having any time do things I want to do. I get home from work at 7 pm and we figure out dinner, watch The View, walk the dog and that's about it.

I really, really need to start working out. (I don't want to talk about it.) And I'd love to do some volunteer work with these people. All of the opportunities so far have been at times when work interferes.

Nerdstar and I hit one of our financial goals in terms of how much we've got in the savings. My salary goes to things like vacations and fun stuff mostly.

I'm still hoping in time to find a part time job.

Anyway. I'm sure I'll blog more about this later.

Got Nothing

Hey peeps. Seems life is just life these days.

Work is work. It hasn't been terrible lately - still all the same old annoyances, but nothing really to write about. Other than, it's kinda weird/creepy having to do STD and HIV tests on old people. And that while we get a few young women (20s and 30s) coming in for those same tests due to "sexually dangerous behavior" or "expose to STDs" - we never get young men coming in for those same tests. Somethings wrong with that picture.

I've had really, really bad allergies for I don't know how long now. It's annoying. Austin is supposed to be a bad place for allergies and I've never had them like this before. I've been using Alegra and Zicam or Nasonex for a couple of months and then this week it just got so much worse. Finally went to the doc yesterday and her best recommendation was using a saline flush up my nose. I mean, I'm glad it's not an infection, but so far the flush hasn't done much to stop the gathering of snot in my nose!

We've had a bit of a social life lately - which is nice.

I'm still following the presidential race, but am never really moved enough to write about it. We'll see where things stand in a month or so when more of the primaries are done

Ramen is still funny looking from having that spot on his forehead shaved, but his little spots have healed nicely. He gets a bath today so he doesn't smell like dog so much!

In spite of the writers strike we still seem to watch a lot of tv. I end up DVRing a lot of stuff because we don't get home from work till 7, then there's dinner to figure out, walking Ramen, and watching The View. There's much I don't like about The View - but there's usually at least once a show where one of them says something really funny. And even if that doesn't happen, just watching Whoopie's face is worth the time.

Nerdstar's still working on how to get out of the Army - she's working on the medical angle due to the arthritis in her back. It's not going to be a quick process, but I think she's making progress.

Hope your weekend is a good one!!

How's It Goin?

The new year has been a mixed bag so far - which I guess is the way life usually goes.

We had a lovely Jan 1. We slept in, went and ate really well, browsed around Barnes and Noble for a while, and took Ramen dog to the park. That's a nice way to start a new year!

Then yesterday was back to work for me and down to Houston for Nerdstar.

I knew work would be crazy this week with everyone coming back into town and needing all their blood taken from their bodies. I swear some of them must be addicted to it. Anyway. I've still got feelers out for a better job and am pretty certain I'll find one sooner or later this year.

Last night was one of the crazy frustrating nights. I didn't really want to go to the grocery store on the way home, but since we're out of bread, milk and everything else, it was kinda necessary. I thought it would be better to go ahead and go and get something for dinner other than Papa John's and for lunch other than cafeteria food. Sounds like a good plan. Except the computer system went down at the Safeway in our neighborhood and I didn't actually get to come home with any groceries. UGH! The lady in front of me said she'd been in line over 40 minutes, I'd been there about 15 when it seemed like the system was coming back - and then it didn't. So I left my little ten item cart by the checkout line and left. I know, I'm evil. I came home and wrote them a letter say I understand systems go down, and that it's as frustrating for employees as customers, but, they totally failed in communicating at all with the customers as to what the problem was or anything - and that's unacceptable.

Then, when I tried to walk Ramen dog last night, it was 20 degrees out with 20 MPH winds. Five minutes was all I could stand. I think he understood.

The upside is tonight went like last night was supposed to. I got groceries, walked the dog and will have a nice hot bath before bed!

Happy Happy New Year!!!!

I truly wish you all the joy, peace and success your little hearts can stand in the new year!!

We're home tonight ordering pizza and watching a movie - Nerdstar's still a little under the weather. Then a nice lunch tomorrow. I'm more sentimental about how I spend the first day of the year than the last night of the old year.

It's kinda sad, but I actually had to go back and read what we did last New Year's.

Go Read

Nerdstar's got another good post up.

I'm feeling much better. I took a few rounds of Zinc, vitamins, Zicam and Allegra and that seemed to do the trick. Nerdstar didn't get a head start on taking meds because she didn't seem to feel as bad at first, it hit her later. I think she's getting better today. She's got that sexy raspy voice going!

We're having a nice quiet weekend of grocery shopping and a little cleaning and hanging out with the pets. I think Ramen's happy to be home.

We both have to work Monday and don't have any plans for Monday night, but we've got reservations at Les Halles (Anthony Bourdain's place) again for New Years Day. Then Wednesday Nerdstar heads to Houston to finally visit her sister and grandpa for a few days.

I'll write more on the New Year when it gets here.

Weekend

Well, the work week ended finally. Friday wasn't actually too bad. The manager was out, which is usually a good thing. Then two of the people who bitch and moan all day called in sick - uh huh. And one of the other people who is annoying left at 10:30 in the morning. But, we weren't terribly busy and the crew we had still there was decent. The bitch I got into it with the other day is still a bitch - and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. The manager asked me about it Thursday, but didn't really say too much other than he relies on me to get stuff done in the afternoons and to be nice to the new people. Whatever.

I've never before worked with a group of people where I didn't become friends with one or two of them. I've also never had less in common with the people I work with than this crew. It's hard to really say what makes me different, because I don't even think it's the gay thing. Maybe it has to do with really different backgrounds. But I'm not sure about that either. I grew up lower middle class. I don't know...

Anyway. Enough about all of that. I know it's boring.

We finally went to a mall today. It wasn't complete hell. We bought Ramen dog an LL Bean bed.

It's really weird knowing our combined income is enough to pretty much spend freely. But there's not much that I want really. I've got a new car. We aren't ready to buy a house here, mostly because we don't want to stay long enough to make it worthwhile. And well, unfortunately there's not a store that sells babies.

I think we'd both rather save up and either take a really great vacation or move.

Completely unrelated - last night we met up with some of Nerdstar's former coworkers for happy hour. Her old manager also get a new job with much better pay! It was interesting spending a little time with these youngsters in the their late 20s making close to $100 Gs a year. "Everybody Wants to Rule The World" kept playing in my head.

More of the story

I really am at a loss sometimes on what to do. Far too often I am totally out of patience. I go from trying hard to be upbeat and calm to pissed off and frustrated like a Porsche goes from 0 to 60. This is both at work and at home.

It seems like no matter how hard I resolve to be like a duck and let things just pass by like water off a duck's back - there seems to be something every day that just pushes me over the edge.

With Nerdstar it's almost (but not exclusively) always about all the damn time she's spending on army bullshit - in spite of telling me she's really trying to resign her commission. She had drill again this weekend. And although she did get home when she said she would this afternoon - she's now spent the past hour and a half and counting on a phone call with her commander. WTF? (Not to mention she's got the dog out for a walk and he's getting totally wet in the rain and fucking up the bath he just had the other day.)

Now, granted it was a hard week for her regarding all the bullshit with her unit - and it's taken a toll on her as well. But that just makes it that much harder for me to understand why she doesn't just stop doing all this bullshit until the resignation comes through.

As for work, well... most days it comes down to me and a couple of other people busting our butts while everyone else slacks off and bitches and moans. That and our manager being a useless pussy who won't tell anyone no or make them do what he's asked them to do makes for lots of fun.

And I just don't know what to do.

Add all this to having to deal with dumb as dirt AT&T cell phone customer service reps who were totally wrong with their diagnosis and therefore tried to sell me a phone I wouldn't have needed - and - having the groomer at the vets office totally mangle Ramen's gorgeous tale when I'd suggested to Nerdstar that the vet might not be the best place to take him for grooming. (I don't think any pet enjoys hanging out at the vets office all day listening to other pets being treated.)

It just seems like a never ending supply of frustrations. And I am completely out of whatever it takes to handle such things. I've burst into tears twice in the past two weeks.

Mmmmm

Here are pics of the 19 pound turkey I got for the two of us. If you really knew how much Nerdstar loves turkey, and soup from the broth and leftovers, well, you'd know why I bought a turkey twice the size of what we need!

In fact, if you could have seen her face this morning as we were getting it ready to cook, or the little dance she did around the apartment when we could really start to smell it cooking, you'd know why I swear she loves food more than me.

I made a little cornbread dressing and bought some gravy and rolls to go with it and that was it. Nice and simple. It was yummy. We're still trying to decide if we can handle some pecan pie tonight, or if we're just going to make it tomorrow.

It was actually nice not having to travel anywhere this year. And it's making me look forward to going home for Christmas more. I've always thought that Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart, not a few weeks.

I have to work tomorrow; Nerdstar doesn't.

We had about 130 patients show up yesterday, if you add the people who were with them, we had at least 200 people yesterday who had nothing better to do than come and get their blood drawn. What is wrong with those people??

Tomorrow will either be terribly busy or really slow. I can't decide which.

I really do hope you all had a really, really great day!!

Thanksgivings Past

I think this is the first Thanksgiving/Holiday Season I’ve been employed in several years.

I started this blog back in December '02 – that year I was still working at Pearson in Austin.

Then in ’03 Nerdstar got sent to Iraq, the people at Pearson, knowing full well the stress I was under with Nerdstar gone, were pretty shitty to me, so I quit right before Thanksgiving. Hey, if you’re gonna have some time off for the foreseeable future, might as well make it for the holidays.

Nerdstar's Thanksgiving '03

'04 is more of a blur. Nerdstar was home from Iraq. Here and here are two entries from that time.

Let's see. So November '05 we were living in KC. I had a couple of temp jobs, but quit them because they sucked and I found out I'd be doing the phlebotomy program.

That Thanksgiving my parents actually drove up to KC with my nephew and we cooked for them. That was kinda nice.

Then winter '06 was our lovely time in small town PA. I couldn't find a job there either. Nerdstar spent Thanksgiving in Jersey and I spent it in Dallas.

You couldn't pay me to guess what this time next year will be like!!

Just Her Luck

Nerdstar was supposed to fly out of Seattle this afternoon and come home - somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen. I hate when I'm right about such things. I know I've written on here before at some point in time about Nerdstar's terrible luck with getting back home from trips.

It's not her fault, or even in her control, but when I was already pretty pissy about her being gone to start with - it sure doesn't make me any happier.

I can't really explain what's going on with her Army unit - but apparently someone in leadership is in trouble, so they canceled the entire unit's flights - yes even all the people like Nerdstar who have real, civilian jobs expecting them back at work tomorrow morning - to do questioning. There's some sort of investigation going on and Nerdstar doesn't even know what about really, they hadn't gotten around to talking with her last time we got a chance to talk.

One other little problem. Nerdstar isn't so great at packing and usually forgets things. When she went to Hawaii a couple of months ago, she forgot her phone. This time, she took my phone charger instead of hers. She has two phones, so she's ok - but other than Skype, I'm going to be phoneless pretty soon. I could buy another charger, but that seems like a waste of money because this one isn't lost, it's just not here now.

My hope is that in all of this hassle and, frankly, bullshit once again with the Army, Nerdstar will finally have had enough and get out. We'll see.

We're not even sure exactly when they're going to re-book their flights home. We're hoping for tomorrow, but...

All of this is a part of my midlife crisis this weekend. There's a lot more going on about houses and babies and careers and such.

3 Day Weekend

I am so very happy I was not at work today. And I'm even happier that I won't be at work on Monday!

Shortly after starting this job I knew that a 3 day weekend once a month was going to be necessary.

And after three and a half days of constant rain - which I loved, we now have cloudy skies that aren't leaking on us and cooler temps. Actual Fall like weather - go figure.

No big plans. Cleaning house, grocery shopping, eating out. The usual. Plus no work on Monday! Wooohooo!!!

Not Planned

Today was the perfect day for a motorcycle ride. And we had one scheduled with the women's riding group. The temps were great, the leaves would have been beautiful...

But apparently it was not to be.

We got up and got ready and got about two blocks from the meetup site when the bike started acting a little funny steering wise. So I leaned over to see if the front tire was going flat - nope. Then I realized it must be the back tire. Yep. Thankfully we weren't going 70 on the highway like we had been minutes before. We were on a mostly empty road near our first destination. I rode it slowly over to a gas station to see about putting air in it, but I pretty much knew that if it had lost air that fast then it must have had a puncture. Sure enough, looks like a nail actually went through the side of the tire.

The two women who made it to the meetup site as well helped us call my insurance company and arrange to take it to a big motorcycle repair place. They weren't open today, but they have a way to do overnight dropoffs.

The main problem was going to be getting home from the repair place. Fortunately the tow truck dude (named Donnell like the guy in My Name is Earl) was nice and at least took us to the closest Metro (subway) station.

One cool thing about this debacle is that it didn't end up costing us any money out of pocket today. I thought we'd pay the tow guy and get reimbursed, but I guess the insurance covered it up front - way cool. Then we already had Metro cards for the subway fare. And we had cash for the bus from the Metro station to the bus stop close to home - but it only took singles and I had a $5 - but the bus dude was really cool and let us on anyway.

It was not even close to how I wanted to spend today - but some part of my brain kept thinking that maybe the flat tire saved me from something worse. And even if not, well, I've had car trouble so very rarely in the past several years that I can't really complain.

Now if we can just figure out something good to eat for dinner.

Old and Gay

Nerdstar went to Jersey with her sister to visit Grandpa last weekend, and they also took the train to NYC for a little while Saturday evening.

Now, Nerdstar's not one who's great with gift buying... but this time she did manage to bring me home a little something.

The Millennium Collection: The Best of Captain & Tennille

So, um, yeah. That makes us pretty damn old AND gay.

Sigh.

Not A Bad Saturday

I had to work this morning, and really wasn't in the mood for it. Saturdays aren't too terrible, we had 50 patients, but they didn't all show up at the same time, so it was ok.

Nerdstar had been talking about going to Fogo de Chao for dinner, and we figured this evening would be nice.

It was good, but I can't say I liked it better than Les Halles.

We got to talking about how we're eating more upscale here in DC - but we'd both trade it for the more home style cooking we love in Austin. (Yes, I know - I sound like a broken record!)

Then we wandered around near the White House for a while to walk off dinner.

DC really does seem to be a strange town. You can tell the locals from the tourists usually pretty easily - although we might look more like tourists. It's weird to know there are people with power and/or money, but you'd never recognize them - unlike Hollywood or LA.

Sick

Ugh, I hate feeling sick and tired. I was a little under the weather all week - which is a crazy phrase considering I LOVE the weather this week! I've got a cough which has kept me from sleeping well the past 3 nights. I was hoping to feel better for the weekend, but that didn't happen.

The only thing I wanted to do this weekend that I probably won't do is take the motorcycle out for a little ride. We're getting everything else done, I'm just not enjoying it as much as I would if I felt better.

I'm a little tempted to stay home from work tomorrow, but I probably won't. Partly because we're so busy on Mondays and it would really suck for everyone if I wasn't there - which is a stupid sentiment considering who all I work with. (Damn inheriting my father's work ethic!) But a bigger reason is because I'd just be bored all day at home with Nerdstar at work.

First

I bought my first brand new car today!! It feels very weird. I'm almost afraid to drive it, I don't want it to get wrecked.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of months, comparing different makes and models and prices, things like that.

So I got an '08 Toyota Corolla in Indigo Ink blue. Nothing fancy. The LE didn't have exactly what I wanted, and the CE had cruise control, so that's what I got.

I even financed it all by myself - no Nerdstar as co-signer. 4.9% - which is lower than the 5.49 our credit union has going and only 1% more than Nerdstar got three years ago when she bought her Matrix.

I hate spending money - especially such big amounts of it, so this was a little hard. But my Buick was all done in. The driver window didn't like to go back up, I had that dent from the parking garage, a few weeks ago I got into it on a Monday morning and the rear view mirror was on the floorboard, and I'm pretty sure the brakes were going.

Yeah new car!!

Tired

We had a good weekend.

Saturday was cleaning and movies and grocery shopping.

Sunday was a motorcycle ride and lunch with a couple of chicks from a new motorcycle riding group trying to get up and going. But, we ended up taking the long way home not being familiar enough with the roads around here and how they can have the name of the road you think leads home - but is really just some long lost portion of that road leading to nowhere.

Then after being all tired from that, we met up with a chick from Nerdstar's new army unit, mostly so Nerdstar could get some info about her new duties before the chick heads over to Iraq and a contractor.

So I've been really, really tired the past two days.

And at work our useless boss apparently has hired Bad Apple 2. Fun.

So that's why the lack of interesting, insightful posts around here.

Hope your week is going well!

Nerdstar's out of town again this weekend. She'd been planning on heading up to her aunt's house in NJ where her grandpa is staying for a while. The army trip to Hawaii delayed those plans, so she drove up yesterday afternoon.

Me and the cats are just happy she took Ramen with her!

I've mostly slept today, but also managed to swiffer the floors, do a few loads of laundry and take out the trash. Tomorrow I plan on vacuuming. Very exciting stuff. I'm leaving the dishes for Nerdstar.

It finally got all hot and humid here in DC. I'm so happy it took until August. Now I'm ready for fall!!

Things overall are going pretty well.

Work is work. My goal is to not let it stress me out and to be really nice to all of my patients. That's harder for me than it should be. Last Monday afternoon it was me and the more useless co-workers. Normally we're not too busy after 3 or 4 when half the crew goes home, but Monday was really busy. And that meant I was pretty much having to do the computer part for all the patients while the other 3 or 4 people drew blood. We had several people leave because the wait was taking too long.

One of the ironies at work is that the bad apple and her harder working cohort spent at least two weeks a while back throwing a fit about having to draw blood all day and not getting to do the computer part. So, we got them all trained, set the schedule of who would draw and who would register when. That worked for a week or so until those two realized that with the computer part came accountability. We've got a woman from billing who checks over all of our patient registrations and then gives them back to us for corrections. Since then, you can't hardly make those two get on the computer. Ugh.

Anyway. Monday afternoon was rough. The rest of the week went pretty well.

Next weekend we're headed to Atlantic City for some casino action. I can't wait!

Short

and to the point...

I miss my girl. A lot.

I'm tired.

My boss is useless.

The weather is nice - but I miss rainy days.

It's helpful when you show up for a urine test - to actually be able to pee.

I've been watching all 3 seasons of Deadwood. I miss that show. A lot.

I think I'm ready for a new car.

I'm tired of almost all of my furniture.

Two of my coworkers are pretty useless, too.

I like my hair short.

Did I mention I miss my girl? A lot!

Not a bad day

Nerdstar's getting ready to leave me again - thanks to the Army. She really thought she'd get out of it, but she's got orders to go to Hawaii for eleven days and flies out early tomorrow morning. I know, it sounds like it'd be nice - but it's just not good timing and neither of us wants her to be gone that long.

So after work today we decided to head to Anthony Bourdain's DC restaurant Les Halles. It was a good choice!! There's a metro stop right near there, so we took the train over. There were some slight delays due to "scheduled track maintenance", but even that didn't diminish the joy of a good meal.

We'd hoped good food would be in abundant supply in this area, but we're having a hard time finding it. We find average food a lot, but not really good food.

Les Halles was fun, too. Our waiter was a good smelling, cute older French man with a fantastic accent. I actually just had a hamburger and fries - but I'd heard Anthony brag about his fries on his travel episode in Vegas. They are good fries! Nerdstar had the cold soup, the 5 veggie plate with a small portion of steak, then we had dessert - creme brule for me and bananas flambe for her, and french press coffee. Yummy!!

Then we wandered over to a big Barnes and Nobles and bought a few books.

We'd read Kitchen Confidential a few years back, so we got The Nasty Bits and A Cook's Tour.

I also got a book about the Johnstown Flood.

Crashing Through - a book about a blind man who is made to be able to see again.

And I got another book by Paul Theroux, Riding The Iron Rooster, about his train travels through China. While Nerdstar was in Iraq I read his Dark Star Safari and really, really enjoyed it.

Life is Good... But...

Life is still feeling pretty good. Sometimes it almost scares me. I haven't felt this positive about life, and life with Nerdstar, in I don't know how long. And I'm not exactly sure what it is that makes life feel good. We're both healthy. We live in a decent area. We're both working. She's not off somewhere being a soldier.

Is that all there is to it? Really?

I don't know. Is this the don't look a gift horse in the mouth thing? Probably.

And I'm feeling closer to God these days. There are little aspects of my life as a Christian several years ago that are creeping back in. Part of it is why I'm in the line of work I'm in. I'm good with people. And even better, I'm good at drawing blood. I cannot tell you the number of patients so far this week who have told me "you have a soft touch" or "you have great hands" or one man even told me "you have angel hands." I don't take that lightly. Some of these patients get their blood drawn weekly, bi-weekly, monthly - they know whether you're good or not. How does that relate to God? It's part of my "even smiling at strangers makes a difference" theology. If I can make the hassle of having your blood drawn just a little better than you expected, and maybe make your day just a little better, well, isn't that how God works?

The one part of my life that I am still really sad about is a lack of friends. I really, really miss having friends, having someone to hang with, to chat with. I know we haven't been in the area long. And it's hard to meet people. But it's been a long time since I've had a really good, close friend. And that's not how my life used to be. I always had a lot of good friends. Right up until I lost all my Christian friends by embracing being gay.

Along with the bad apple at work and all the frustration that brings, this is the first job I've ever had where I haven't made friends with at least one co-worker.

Anyway. That's my rambling on this Wed. night.

Good Weekend

It's been a pretty good weekend. I get frustrated at how tired my job leaves me. I'd love to go to four days a week, but I don't think I'll actually do it anytime soon.

Yesterday we took Ramen to the park again. It seems we attract women there with their kids and dogs who want to tell us all about their lives. It's almost interesting - but not really.

Then we went to see Evan Almighty. Nerdstar's a big fan of Bruce Almight, and we thought it looked fun. We both liked it. I've read it's not getting great reviews - so I really hope it finds it's audience. It's a sweet movie with a message that's good to hear, but doesn't beat you over the head.

Today we got brave and decided to drive up to Baltimore and see if we could find some decent seafood. The seafood we found wasn't anything to write home about (or I guess to really blog about). But we had fun people watching down at the touristy harbour. We didn't even get terribly lost.

And can I just say that now I understand why people enjoy summertime. I can't believe how nice the weather here is.

Update

Sorry for the light blogging. Life is more or less settling into a routine - and a routine that leaves Nerdstar and I pretty tired at the end of the work day.

My body is mostly adjusting to being on my feet almost all day every day at work. I finally caved in and got a pair of crocs - they were overly popular in Austin, on top of being so damn ugly - and I just couldn't bring myself to try a pair. No one around here seems to wear them, so I finally went and tried some on. (That correlation makes sense in my head.) I do think they're marginally more comfy than my expensive walking tennis shoes, and they certainly are the most light weight shoes ever. But, I think they make me use different muscles in my ankles and skins when I walk, so I'm sore in different places. I guess that'll work itself out in another week or so.

Other than work, we spend the weekends taking Ramen to the park, running errands, and trying new places to eat. Unfortunately, we still haven't found restaurants here that are better than our old favs in Austin. But we're still looking. We did find a Thai place we both like, and it's just down the street.

I was really frustrated with my job Monday and the lack of structure/accountability there. Things got better Tuesday. Not perfect, but they incorporated some more structure in the schedule that helps a lot. I'm still hoping he hires some decent folk to replace the ones who are leaving.

Other than that we're trying to plan a trip to Atlantic City in early August and maybe one to see The Kid in Sept.

June

It's been a good weekend - even if I did work 8 to noon yesterday. (Work was so much better without the bad apple around!)

I got my hair cut really short yesterday. As I was about to get it cut I realized I should have done before and after pics - oh well. It was over six inches long and now the back of my neck is visible - which has resulted in me wanting to get a Texas flag tattooed back there. I figure if I still want it in a few months I might look into it.

The rest of the weekend has been mostly getting things done. And we actually cooked dinner tonight. I'm pretty sure we ate out every night last week.

One of the best things about living here so far is the weather. I can't believe how not hot it is. Oh sure, we had one hot day Friday, but even then it wasn't the kind of hot that takes your breath away or leaves you all sticky and sweaty after setting foot out the front door. Then yesterday and today were almost downright cool outside. It was in the upper 70s with a cool breeze and clouds. In June. Who knew that was possible!

I also decided to go back and read what was up the past June's since I've been blogging.

Last year was the trip to Tokyo - that was such a great trip. I guess I'd forgotten that I was working this time last year in KC. It seems like a lot longer ago than that.

'05 we went to Chicago to see Nerdstar's sister and then to Dallas to see my family - both road trips from KC.

'04, not as fun - Nerdstar was in Iraq.

'03, we still lived in Austin, Nerdstar was at Ft. Lewis, WA getting ready to go to Iraq, I was riding my motorcycle around.

Stubborn

The weekend Nerdstar was out of town, my Mom called for her bi-weekly catch-up. The Kid usually talks to us a little bit, but he mostly talks to Nerdstar.

My last conversation with him went like this:

Me: Hey Buddy, what's up?

TK: Can I talk to Nerdstar? (he uses her real name)

Me: No, Buddy, she's not here.

TK: Can I talk to Nerdstar?

Me: I told you, she's not here, she went to see her grandpa.

TK: Nerdstar! Nerdstar! Nerdstar! Nerdstar! (Yelling as if she'd be able to hear him.)

Me: SHE'S NOT HERE... put Granny back on the phone.

TK: Then put Ramen on.

Me: (Laughing at this point) Ramen can't talk on the phone... put Granny back on the phone.

Ugh. He talks to me on the phone a little, but not nearly as much as he talks to Nerdstar.

Dented

I think today is the first day since we've moved here that I've had nothing to do but relax. And it came just in time. I had gotten to the point of tired where you think your brain is working at 100%, but it's really more like 80% or less.

Yesterday after work I smashed my fender on the concrete post in the parking garage. Ugh. Just a five second brain fart and my car is dented up. It's not a terrible dent, but bad enough. (I posted pics on the photo blog.) It was worse - I could only open the driver door about six inches, so I used a screw driver to pry the dented part back out so the door will work. (The hubcap has been missing for years.)

The emotional reaction I had yesterday was kinda funny. I started to really dislike my car, like I wanted to disown it, like it had let me down. Weird. I also hate how that dent makes me look like a worse driver than I am. I've generally been really happy with the car. I've had it for five or so years and only paid $5000 for it. I've put over 65,000 miles on it.

I don't plan on getting the dent repaired, it's not worth what it would cost. One thing I do have to get fixed on it is the driver's side electric window - it still works, but it takes it a long time to get back up.

I've been daydreaming of a new car. I'd love to pay off the motorcycle before starting on car payments. If I could find another deal as good as the one I got on the Skylark I'd be pretty happy. Maybe at the end of the year I'll get serious about looking.

Good

Life is Good. So much better than a month ago. Almost scary good.

I got through my first week of work. The job is just about what I expected it to be. My body was really worn out from being on my feet all day, but that was to be expected as well. I hear we're going to go to four hours of drawing blood and four hours of registering patients soon - that sounds good to me. I just don't want to end up doing all of one or the other.

This weekend has been really nice. We took Ramen dog for his shots yesterday morning. Then we went to get massages. Nerdstar found a place by searching online, and it turned out to be a nice little place. The vibe reminded me of Austin - which is always a good thing.

Last night we met up with a woman who works for Nerdstar's company - but in a different part of the country, and a friend of hers and her kids. We went to see Bodies - The Exhibition. It was really cool. The human body is so amazing.

Today we took Ramen to the dog park again. Eventually we'll remember to take the camera and take some pics.

The weather here has been amazing. I'm really not used to an actual spring. In Texas you go from pseudo winter to summer - no in-between. And such low humidity!! Wonderful!!

Work has led to a loss of some of my web surfing time. But that's ok. Life is good.

Life Got Busy

I'm very tired - but for good reasons!

We ran errands and such most of Saturday, which was a good thing. As Nerdstar says, "there's always more to do." And there is, but it's good to get some things done.

Then the fun was all day yesterday. We got to hang out with Sean of Doc In the Box and his lovely wife. We had a lot of fun driving all around and seeing some sites. My feeties hurt, but oh well.

At the Lincoln Memorial I got all emotional, which is kind of weird because we'd been there before, back on our east coast road trip of '99. I just felt so much love for this country, and such sadness for all the people, military and civilian, who have given their lives over the past 400 years to make this country what it is.

I've also decided I could never be an immigrant in another country. I can't imagine what the people who decide to make their lives here legally go through, learning a new language, new foods, new ways of driving. Everything.

On top of all of that, today was my first day at my new job. Today was hanging out in the lab. The next two days are fun orientations. Then even worse, Thursday and Friday I have to be there at 6 a.m. and do in-patient draws so the main lab can see that I really do know how to draw blood.

Tonight is dinner with Sean and his wife again. Thankfully I get to sleep a little later tomorrow!!

Hope you're all having as much fun!

Sighs of Relief

It's a beautiful weekend and the packing is going along pretty well. With Nerdstar gone until Tuesday night, I've got plenty of time.

I don't know if she'll totally agree or not, but I think Nerdstar and I are both glad for a little time apart. Five days will be a longer break than I'd like, but...

With all the shit of the past two or three weeks it's been hard on "us". The upside is that we had a couple of really good conversations about everything. Not only have the past few weeks been tough, but I think the past four years have been tough. Tough circumstances for a relationship. Her year and a half gone with the Army to Ft. Lewis/Iraq, the moves to Kansas City, PA and now DC. My times of extended unemployment. What I think came out is that we have totally different perspectives and takes on the past four years, each blaming the other for different things. I hope we're starting to see each other's side a little better.

As always, I'm optimistic about the future. Things look really good for getting the job I want at the hospital. Hopefully we'll finish up the final peer interview this coming week and it goes well so we can schedule when I start orientation. My finally working again will go miles in relieving a lot of stress.

As soon as I find the cord for the camera to the computer I'm going to try to start posting more pics.

Better!

What a difference 24 - 48 hours can make!!

We got moved into the new apartment yesterday. Paying the movers was definitely money well spent - and it ended up costing about $120 less than estimated!

Then, miracle of miracles, we have both working cable and internet already set up in the new place! I had called Cox Communications the other day, but didn't like the sales guy much. When Nerdstar went to the apt. office yesterday to sign her part of the paperwork, she talked to the leasing guy and he said he'd get back to us with better contact info for cable. This morning before I got a chance to head to the office, he called and gave me the name of someone at Cox. That was at about 11 this morning. It's now only 4 p.m. and service is already up and running. Amazing. And the installation was free!

The only sad part of my day is that Nerdstar left this morning for part of her annual Army drill stuff. She'll be gone until Tuesday night.

I'm such a bad girlfriend, I just couldn't make myself wake up this morning to take her to the airport. We got into bed about 1:30 in the morning and I couldn't sleep well. The alarm was set for 5:35. I'm hoping she's getting in some good naps on the flights!

The new apartment feels so much better. Like a darkness has been lifted. Even the cats seem to be much happier here, they were all running around instead of hiding like they did the first couple of days at the icky place.

Even the weather continues to improve.

Bad Week

Let me preface this entry by saying how terrible what happened at VT is, and how much I pray for God's comfort for all those affected.

Well, last Saturday we did manage to find a better apartment. It's out in a little more suburban feeling area and seems to be a better property all around. While it's been a complete headache to move twice in about a three week period, we both believe it's going to be worth it in the long run. Tomorrow the movers show up again.

As is typical of all things - we finally got internet service today, now I guess we'll have to see how long it takes them to transfer it to the new apartment.

For the bad parts. As Nerdstar wrote about, we spent Saturday evening with friends and their sick little boy. Monday I got totally sick, fever, nauseous, all of it. Spent the next 24 hours emptying out everything in me. Poor Nerdtar got a little sick yesterday, but never did throw up everything like I did. I'm slowly starting to eat again, but every muscle in my torso hurts from all the hurling!

In the middle of being sick, the weather here was terrible and the winds hit at least 50 mph and blew my motorcycle over - twice! Thankfully the only thing damanged was the mirrors. But, it just adds more things to the seemingly endless list of things that have to be taken care of.

So that's what's up around here. It's feeling like the longest month of my life - aside from the terrible time Nerdstar was in Iraq.

But, I am optimistic things are going to get better soon!

Patience is a virtue

Life is still pretty sucky here in our new city. The water at the apt. is getting warmer – but still not HOT. It’s kinda hard to do things like laundry and dishes without hot water. We’re looking at different apartment complexes, but so far we’re not really having much luck. We’ve got maybe three or four to look at on Saturday. Of course, finding a better place just means packing up everything we just unpacked, and finding a way to get it moved. But if we don’t find a better place, I’m afraid we’ll be unhappy the entire time we have to live in this apt. I’m afraid it just won’t feel like “home” – and that’s an icky feeling.

We still don’t have internet at the current apt. We contacted Verizon the other day, the only other choice is Comcast, and one of Nerdstar’s coworkers had horror stories about Comcast. Verizon was really prompt in sending the actual equipment for DSL, but now it could be a whole extra week before their “machines” can be bothered to actually turn the service on. WTF?

We found a really cool diner close to where Nerdstar works, and it has free wifi that’s actually fast and reliable. Yesterday I got lucky and got a table back in the corner next to a plug because our laptop doesn’t hold a charge for very long.

It’s hard to find anything in a new city without internet access. We need to do searches for apartments, then we need Google maps for directions. We can’t find things like a dog park for Ramen, or movie times, or places to eat. We’ve done quite a bit of driving around and trying restaurants we see – that’s gone pretty well most of the time.

It’s all just so constantly frustrating. Every day I hope something, anything, will get better, and usually each day just brings more frustration. I try to keep in mind that eventually all these frustrations will be resolved. But then there will just be new ones.

Even the weather has sucked since we got here. Although, I’m pretty sure it sucks more where we were living.

One bright spot is that I went back to do more in the process of hopefully getting hired at the hospital I’d like to work at. With any luck, next week will bring the final step in the process.

Weekend

It was kinda an eventful weekend. We spent most of the day Saturday dealing with a backed up sewer line - right into the basement. Fun. Our poor landlady, not only are we moving out soon, she also had to deal with plumbing issues - not just the backup, but we've also had leaky pipes under the sink. I helped her fix part of the under the sink problem - but I think some seals need to be replaced, and I'm not up for that. At least she got to flirt with the plumber dude who showed up. That was fun to observe. Neither Nerdstar nor I are the "use your feminine charm type".

Yesterday we got a little bit of packing done. It's more and more tempting to let the movers do it all. But, I'll get as much done as I can. We kept all the boxes from the move here, that helps.

We've decided to go try to find an apartment Thursday through Saturday. It's still stressing me out.

Doesn't anyone have a magic wand I can borrow?

Lots of Snow

I'd post new pics of the snow - but really, it'd just look like the old pics of snow. Except this time it's a wet and heavy snow - and LOTS of it. It started early yesterday morning and hasn't stopped yet! I'd say by the time it's done we'll have well over a foot of snow.

Fortunately, we knew it was coming and planned on an indoor weekend. We've got to get started with this moving/packing stuff. I'm pretty sure we'll be moving into a smaller space in DC, so this weekend it's gather things for Goodwill time.

My job interview for Wednesday got pushed back a week. I guess that's ok. It's a long process to get hired, so maybe we'll be moved for parts of it and I won't have to drive back and forth so much.

We're still going to head down to DC this coming Wed. to check out some apartments. It's kinda overwhelming just because there are so many choices to narrow down.

Both of us are just ready for this to be done.

Update

It's dreary and overcast today - but that's better than the three days of snow we've got coming up. Fun. At least we got to break out the little charcoal grill last night and eat some yummy, yummy steaks!

The DC move is stressing me out more than it should. Turns out Nerdstar's new pay is going to be a little more than it is now - but about 8 to 10 grand less a year than we'd hoped.

I don't know when or where I got the notion that we should be able to live on her salary alone. Maybe because I've ended up unemployed a lot more than I'd like the past few years. Maybe because the move will deplete almost all of our savings and our safety net will be gone until I find a job. Whatever the reason, that thinking is going to have to stop.

I really am more than ready to start working again. I am being smarter this time and have already started applying for jobs in the new area. And I've even scheduled an interview for a dream job next Wednesday - say your prayers for me!! But I know I have to be mentally ready to work at McDs if necessary.

We're really pretty much in limbo right now. Nerdstar's working her butt off trying to find us a decent apartment. But, we don't have a date for the movers, we don't have a new address, we don't know exactly what her pay will be, or exactly when her start date is.

And I though hurry up and wait was only a military thing.

Moving Again

Our move to DC is in the works.

We don't have any details about anything yet, but hopefully soon she'll know her new salary and the relocation help. It will be the same moving company that moved us here - they were good so I've got no problem with that. And with the third across states move in two or so years, I'm getting better at packing.

For some reason I'm more than a little intimidated by DC. I know life there won't be like anywhere else we've lived so far. But I'm also hopefull that will be a good thing. Just think - we'll be living somewhere we could eat a different restaurant every day of the year.

They mentioned yesterday they'd like Nerdstar to start work there April 1. Yes, that soon. Our lease for this house ends April 18, I think that's going to work out about right. Her company should put her up in a hotel until she finds an apartment and schedules the movers.

I think for both of us, things are a little nerve-wracking until we know where we'll be living. We've been looking at apartment listings and so many are just so much more money than I'd like. Fortunately, her job location is literally yards from a Metro station, so that'll help. Hopefully I can find a hosptial or something similar close to where we end up living.

Not The Life For Me

My childhood was very white bread surburban. My Mom was a stay at home mom. My Dad did his tour with the Army, came home, married Mom and got a job I think he intended to keep until he retired. They've lived in the same house for almost 40 years and attended the same church that long as well. Dinner was on the table every evening around 5, Dad read the paper until it was time to eat. After dinner it was tv, then bed. I did my homework right after school.

There was racial diversity in my schools though. One of the first boys I liked was Hispanic. In high school I dated all kinds of boys. The boy next door (literally), an Indian, an Afrian American, Hispanic, all American white boys. Smart, not so smart. Then I ended my high school years dating a girl. Pretty diverse. My poor parents, I'm not sure they were happy with all that diversity. But I must say, they always treated anyone I brought home with respect.

All that to say, I'm not sure why it is I'm not happy in a small, 85% white town.

There were times in my past I would day dream about living a fairly solitary life in a cabin in the mountains. Or I thought that as long as I had cable and the internet I could live fairly happily in any small town.

But Nerdstar and I both find that's not the case.

I don't know how people enjoy life in small towns. Life without really good restaurants. I mean, you have to enjoy cooking to live in a small town. But even if you like to cook - the grocery stores don't have a wide variety of high quality food. Yes, you can get a haircut, but it might not be that great a haircut.

I guess we were really, really spoiled living in Austin. We had access to high quality everything. Yet, it didn't feel like an expensive life. But I know we both now believe that some things are worth paying for, just maybe not on a very frequent schedule. A good haircut or massage every four or five months. A trip to a high end grocery store once a month. I mean, it's not like I wouldn't shop at Wal Mart even if there were a Whole Foods nearby.

Whatever the reasons, and there are quite a few, we've learned we're not made for small town life. It feels like we've retired forty years too early.

Thankfully, there's a light at the end of this tunnel, and we hope to know within a week or so if we're moving.

Coin Flip

There's just not much going on these days. Nerdstar made it back from her trip to Houston late Tuesday night. Eventually, she'll write about it on her site.

The weather has been interesting. One day it's all sunshine and the snow is all melting - the next day we're getting another four inches of new snow. I've decided that shoveling snow really is my favorite new workout. The snow I shoveled today looked just like powdered sugar. I love the quiet of a snow covered world. Of course, I'm sure I'll love listening to all the sounds of spring as well.

Nerdstar's looking at a couple of different job opportunities in different cities. One is with her current company, but in the DC area. The other is with the military in Salt Lake City. I think for us it's a coin toss as to which would be better. They're so different and each have pros and cons.

Mostly we're just waiting, waiting, waiting.

Hence all the tv watching I do.

Oh, Nerdstar did find out about one of her fellow soldiers in Iraq committing suicide back in November. That's just so sad!

Bleh Weekend

Nerdstar's status within the Army Reserves is kinda weird. She got a promotion, but she doesn't have a unit to belong to, and on top of that, can't really do anything "real" with the AR until she goes to Officer Basic Camp - which neither of us is in any hurry for her to do. (We have some other things we'd like to see happen before that.)

In spite of all of that, she found out she still has to do her monthly weekend drills.

So yep, that's where she's at this weekend. It's only 7:30 to 4:00 Saturday and Sunday. But it means she can't sleep in this weekend, and we can't run errands during the day when it's marginally warmer.

Speaking of warmer. Ugh. I think I'm really tired of being cold. We had two weeks of snow every day - but it was warmer. Now we've had two weeks of high temps not being above 13. This week isn't looking too much better.

Being from Texas, I'm used to the Sun being all powerful. Here I find it's a total wimp compared to cold. You know it's cold out when the sun shines almost all day and nothing outside is melting!!

At Rest

I am inertia's bitch.

And it's not even just a product of the current temp outside being 1, and the temp inside not feeling much warmer.

I'm not sleeping until noon every day. Not that it matters because I'm not achieving much when awake.

Nerdstar and I discussed that with the weather prohibiting leaving the house more than necessary, maybe it was a small comfort knowing there was nothing going on around here worth getting out for anyway. I said I'd rather know I was missing out on cool events that know it's just a wasteland out there in our small town.

Friday night we did go to dinner with one of Nerdstar's co-workers and his family. They moved here from Dallas about a month after we moved here from KC - and they feel exactly the same way we do about being here. It was nice to have people to commiserate with.

Shouldn't Be This Hard

We really did have high hopes when we moved here back in October. Nerdstar was looking forward to a good job in the civilian world and a little more money. I didn't think I would have any trouble finding another phlebotomy job in one of the hospitals here. We thought it might be nice to buy a cute little house in a small town and then with the money we were making, and saving by living in a small town, we could do some traveling to all the cool cities in the east.

None of that has turned out the way we hoped. Not even the more money part. As I've mentioned, although Nerdstar's salary is more, civilian jobs take out a LOT more in taxes than the army does. Then there's the lack of jobs for me. I did get an email notice saying that the job I was doing that was too far was filled by the guy who already worked for them - so at least I know that wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway. And the weather turned much worse for driving around then as well. (I've felt bad ever since an annonomous commenter left me a critical comment.)

Nerdstar's had a hard time working for her boss, and while that situation is better for now (she's working on other projects for other managers) who knows how long the better will last.

We spend a little time every evening talking about what to do and where to go from here. I know Nerdstar's looking pretty seriously at a couple of other opportunities that are similiar in job duties, but back with the military.

One problem is that if she doesn't stay at the current job for a year, she's supposed to pay back the $4400 they paid for her moving expenses. That's a lot to pay back.

We also debate how wise it is to follow the money again. So far our two attempts at moving up in the world by following her career to KC and now to PA haven't resulted in the quality of life we'd like and were used to in Austin.

We talk a lot about just moving back to Austin and being poor. I don't think it'd be that hard for me to find a phleb. job down there, it's a big city with lots of hospitals and such. But my salary won't cover all of our bills - and there just aren't the kinds of jobs she's doing now down there and she doesn't really know what other kind of job to pursue.

Most of the time I think it just shouldn't be this hard to find jobs we like in a city we enjoy living in.

Good News

As Nerdstar wrote, there was finally a custody hearing for The Kid and instead of him spending every other week with my family, and every other week with his mother, his mother now gets him only every other weekend. Thank God!

It's hard to explain just how bad his mother is, or how he hates going there every other week. Just one example is that he's now in Kindergarten and she won't take him to school. So, he only goes to school the weeks he's with my family. (I think because he's in a private school she can get away with that.)

Mom said the judge didn't even take five minutes to think things over. As soon as the last of the testimony had been given she immediately stated the new arrangement. On top of that, she asked my family why Mom and Dad weren't set up to get The Kid instead of his mother if something should happen to my brother. That's pretty strong.

Anyway. There were other legal issues between my brother and The Kid's mom (they're not even legally divorced because she must be too stupid to realize she never finalized the paperwork - but she's living with a new guy and just had his baby) that were also resolved in favor of my brother a couple of months ago. These issues have been haunting my family for over a year now, and I just can't express how happy we all are that things are finally turning around.

Versus

I used to think that the hot Texas summers were just terrible. Heat makes me get headaches and want to do nothing. Now that I'm in my first "real winter" I find it's a lot of work. Just the layers of clothes required is tiring. I miss jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops. Then there's the brushing all the snow off the car every time I want to go somewhere because the garage is too small for the car. I gave shoveling the snow off the short sidewalk up to the front door a try, it wasn't my best work. Mostly I wanted to clear the steps for the mailman.

January in Austin versus January in Johnstown.

Oh Yeah!

We are now the proud owners of our very own snow shovel. Yipee!!

It's all too exciting for this Texan!

Cold Weekend

We've had two days of snow. I love watching it snow. I really love when there is sunshine at the same time the snow is falling from the sky. Lovely!

But, now that the temps are where they should be for winter, hovering in the teens, I might have to reconsider what I've always said - that is that I would prefer cold winters to Texas summers. Texas summers being 95+ degrees in 95% humidity for five or so months. It's a hard call. My ideal weather is temps between 45 and 75 with a nice mix of sun and rain.

I'd have to say what's going to be the most frustrating thing about this winter is the house we're renting. How in the hell any house in this part of the country can NOT have a fire place is beyond me. This one doesn't. On top of that, it has central heat and air - which isn't doing that great a job of fighting these cold temps. Added to that is the basement and attic that also get heated - or rather, don't - but take up energy just the same.

But, there just weren't any other places to rent that allowed pets. Bleh!

I think Ramen dog loves the snow. There were neighborhood kids out playing this afternoon, so we took Ramen out to play with them. He loves kids! He was so happy to run around for a little while with them.

So it's a lazy weekend. We watched Lucky Number Slevin - it's a really good movie for a lazy weekend.

Update

I'm feeling a little under the weather today, which seeing how it's been cold and wet isn't that unexpected. Plus it's been hard getting enough sleep this week. My body was used to getting to bed around midnight and up around 9. Now I've got to get up at 5:30 and am trying to get to bed between 9 and 10. But that sucks being on the east coast because shows like ER don't even start until 10. I miss Central Standard Time!

The job hasn't been too bad the last couple of days. I had four patients the last two days, and 2 so far today.

I'm really not crazy about working by myself. I'd say there's probably 1 out of 15 or so patients I can't find a vein in. And I'm under the impression this is the only lab some of them can come to - which sucks for them more than me. Plus, after two days of training on the computer system, I've already ran into a couple of problems. I have to call the lab where I did my training and ask questions.

I also really don't like the drive here because it's still dark that early. It's a twisty two lane road and I'm afraid of a head on collision some morning.

Apparently, the company is looking to hire someone full time for this location. I put in my application online, but they've already turned me down for one job, so I'm not sure it's very likely I'll get this one. I won't be sad if I don't. It's nice working again, but the being here alone and the drive are enough to make it ok if they hire someone else.

Early New Year's

We're either having an old married couple's New Year's Eve, or a small town one - not sure what the difference would be.

Actually. I had made us dinner reservations at PF Chang's in Pittsburgh for this evening. Then Nerdstar suggested that we check out the Pittsburgh zoo while we were over that way. Well, I got to looking at the weather and yesterday had much better weather, so we kinda had our New Year's Eve last night.

We drove through some really cool neighborhoods in Pitts last night. We saw several orthodox Jews headed to evening services, and lots not white people. (After a couple of years in small, white towns, we're always happy to see not whites.) I love the old houses in the old neighborhoods and the fun little stores and shops and restaurants.

But, alas. We also discovered we simply can't live in Pitts, or most PA cities for that matter. For some reason known only to God, or maybe Satan, this state hates to invest in street and highway signs. It's not bad enough that two out of three streets change names sometime while you're driving along. You're lucky if the cross street has a street sign, but you can give up on the street your on having any sort of sign. Now, add the rivers and mountains going through Pitts, and the resulting den of snakes like road layout, and well, it was almost more than we could handle.

Give me back my nice, flat, well-lit, well labled, wide, straight Texas roads, with restaurants all along them!!

On to the New Year

This might have been my least stressful Christmas ever. And not nearly as depressing as I might have anticipated. I love my family, but we all know it's not always easy to spend extended time with them. We're both a little sad to not be with The Kid when he open presents, but he's at his mother's this week and won't get to open presents with my family until this coming weekend.

Nerdstar and I just got each other little gifts. She took me out to look at lcd tv's, but I just can't bring myself to spend over $1000 for something I don't really need. Even if we got a HD lcd, I'm not ready to upgrade our cable package to the HD channels, I feel we're spending too much as it is. So I come home and take a good look at the picture of our current tv and figure it's good enough for a while longer.

I sent my family a few gifts, The Kid got the Gamera dvd collection and his new favorite Godzilla movie, and a dinosaur book. He'll be thrilled.

Nerdstar and I both realized yesterday, after her sister bitched and moaned about getting crappy presents (except from Nerdstar) that neither of us got anything from our families. Nice. My folks said they'd take us out to a good dinner whenever we do make it down there.

We spend Sunday making our Christmas dinner of turkey and cornbread dressing and rolls and sweet potato pie because Monday one of Nerdstar's co-workers took pity on us and invited us over for lunch. We figured two Christmas dinners was better than one! Tonight we took the turkey carcass and such out of the roasting pan, added some water and made the best broth ever. Nerdstar was drinking it like a good wine!

Oh, and Christmas Eve I drug her to a church service. I really wanted to sing some Christmas carols this year. I think they're amazing. Her boss had invited her and her co-workers to their service, so we went there.

It wasn't that great. Not nearly enough Christmas carols. And the message was one of those super evangalistic types that I never understand. I know what the preacher is trying to do, I just can't imagine it ever working. If you go on the premise he was preaching to people who come to church maybe once or twice a year, or were there for the first time to appease some family member, then why the hell did he try to "preach the entire Bible" and make it all about reference the intended audience won't get. It's right up there with preaching to the choir every Sunday - pointless.

I did catch a glimpse of the type of worship I used to participate in when I went to church in Austin, and I can't express how much I miss it. But all the bullshit that goes with it, I just don't want to deal with. I always hold some hope in my heart that one day I'll find a church that's completely different.

Low Key

Things are just really low key around here these days. I finished my Christmas shopping a while back, mostly online. In fact, my family in Texas got their package back on Monday.

So, it's just Nerdstar and I around here for the holidays. We decided to go ahead and cook a little turkey and some dressing and a couple of other dishes.

We might head out to a Christmas Eve service, I've been wanting to go sing some Christmas carols.

See, very low key.

Huh?

Apparently, just a few weeks in a cold climate has turned Nerdstar and I into total GUYS! We've taken to watching Ultimate Fighting and now we're watching and laughing at the Video Game Awards. We don't even own a single gaming system. (Although we might check into them after Christmas) Add that to our MXC and Ninja Warrior viewings... what's next?? Bring on the beer and girls on trampolines!

Decisions

Along with supposedly simple things like what the hell to do for Christmas or New Years; Nerdstar and I have a terrible time trying to make bigger decisions.

(Christmas I think we're going to stay put and cook a decent meal. New Year's I made reservations at PF Chang's in Pittsburgh and we'll see if we do anything after that.)

There are tons of nice little houses around here under $100,000. And we would love to own a nice little house. But... we just don't know how long we're going to stay here. Her job is decent, but not her dream job. Between it possibly leading to better civilian jobs, or her currently unknown military career, it's just hard to say where we'll end up next, or when.

Then there's the whole issue of me getting a job. There's nothing to be had within a fifty mile radius. So today I actually applied online for a couple of jobs about 100 miles from here. One of them is only two or so night shifts a week - which would be sufficient to keep up my skills until we know more about the future and wouldn't be hell driving that far every day.

I think it'd be much easier for me to be unemployed for a while if I hadn't been unemployed so much in the past few years. But I'm out of dvds, and books, and such. And as I've written in the past, I'm terrible at self motivation. It's not like I can even get myself to use this down time (that I know won't last forever) to get into shape.

We've only been here two months. It feels a little longer.

Nerdstar has her own dislikes of living here - mostly having to do with a real lack of good food and diversity.

Bleh

The lethargy, depression, and frustration all increase just a little bit every day.

View

View

It was nice and clear this morning. We're supposed to get more of this today and tomorrow, then warmer for the weekend. Nice!

UPDATE: Between taking that pic and the time Nerdstar had to drive home from work it snowed at least 5 inches. While it's really pretty - there are two or three steep hills in our neighborhood. We were on the cell phones most of her way home, then about two long blocks from home she finally got stuck. I had to try to rescue her! A couple of neighborhood ladies came out and helped us try to push. Then the snow truck finally came through the neighborhood and we finally made it home. I'd say it took about an hour or so. My car is a 97 Buick which is heavy enough to get around on bad roads. Her little Toyota Matrix - not so heavy. Guess we'll have to get her some snow tires or something! Our land lady has the same type of car - so we're going to get her advice!

Nothing like your first winter in a place that really has winter. Thankfully it's going to warm up this weekend and it'll all melt away - this time...

Odd and Ends

These days I'm pretty much stuck in house wife role. What's sad is both Nerdstar and I would prefer it was me bringing home the bacon and her frying it up in a pan. I just don't really enjoy house work.

I've emailed a resume and cover letter to all the appropriate people I can find around here. It still amazes me that for a town of 20K they seem to have an over abundance of phlebotomists. How does that happen? Unfortunately, if something doesn't open up by the first of the year, I'm going to have to go back to doing something else. Yuck.

Today there are snow flurries and sunshine - a nice mix.

It's not going to get out of the 20s this week. The poor pets are not at all happy about it either. I feel kinda bad for them. I keep it pretty darn cold over night because Nerdstar and I generate lots of body heat under the flannel sheets and down comforter. The cats come and go throughtout the night and snuggle up to us. The poor dog has a bed, but you can tell he's not too happy about any of it. If he didn't constantly make the cats think he was going to eat them, they might let him on the bed, too - but that's never going to happen.

At least we're not in St. Louis - those poor people there without power all this time!

I do wish we had a fireplace. I can't understand why they're not standard in every house around here, but there seem to be lots without one.

And one final note - thermostats are crazy liars. I've got it set on 60 - there's not a chance in hell the temp in this house is 60. I know 60. 60 means you don't have to wear multiple layers of clothes.

16 Months

In 16 months I'll be 40. Sixteen seems like a big number. But not so much to me.

If I'm average, I'll have half of my life left. And not necessarily the better half. If I'm lucky, and if things like nanotechnology and all the medical discoveries about to be made on all those baby boomers pan out, I'm only 1/3 done with my life. Yes, 120 would be just fine with me. Because if I'm only 1/3 done, there might be less pressure. Pressure for what?

I wish I knew. I've spent my whole life feeling like I want to do something helpful. I want to make a difference in people's lives. When I was in my church going days it seemed simpler, but I can't say that I really felt I was making much difference. I've always believed making a difference can be as simple as smiling at strangers. But I've always wanted something just a little bigger.

Funny - sixteen years ago I graduated college with a sociology degree. Haven't done a thing with it.

Then twelve years ago I got certified to teach. One of my biggest disappointments is that I've never really taught. In one of my life's ironies - if I'd stayed put back where I grew up I almost certainly would have had a teaching job right after student teaching. Instead, I moved to Austin. That might have been one of the worst decisions I've made. Then again, maybe not. Hard to say.

I mostly know the life I want to have. A house, a kid, maybe a job I enjoy, maybe staying home with the kids, some good friends, some small part in the community I live in. I think all that would be enough. And it doesn't seem like any of it should be so hard to obtain.

Sixteen months. 40.

Home

Ah, it's so good to be out of the house, and by myself! The kid went back to his mother's tonight, so it's a sad time at our house. This every other week stuff is bullshit, but not a thing I can do about it.

Anyway. I made the most of the time I had with him. Tuesday afternoon he and I went ice skating for several hours. He'd never been before, and he loved it! I got a little bit of video on the camera of him out on the ice - not holding the wall or anything, just staking away. He's so cute. Omg, he's got mad skills with the teenage girls. (He's 5!) He'd find one out on the ice while I was taking a break and skate up to her and grab her hand and usually the girl was nice and went a lap around the rink with him before I'd call him over and make him leave her alone. He'll walk up to any pretty girl and just throw his arms around her. It doesn't bode well for the future!

Wednesday we went to see Happy Feet. It sucked. Maybe some people think the animation is cool or something, but mostly I was bored. I realized watching it why I've always been such a big Pixar fan - they don't preach at me. Not that they don't have nice, happy messages, just they don't pound me over the head with the evilness of MAN.

Yesterday he insisted on going ice skating again. This time my brother and Mom tagged along. The Kid found a cute teenage girl who worked on the ice and followed her around most of the time. When I told him to let her work he explained that he was working with her - helping her. Yep.

Other than that we watched one of the Godzilla movies about five times in three days. He absolutely loves them! It was funny, he's been conviced that not only is Godzilla real - he's Godzilla. So the dvd had one of the "making of" features that we watched. Now that he's seen how they build the sets and blow everything up - he wants to build sets in the back yard!

What sucks so much about his mother having him every other week is that it really limits his participation in anything he enjoys - like sports. I'd love to see him get into community theater or something as well. But, hell, she won't even take him to school the weeks she has him, much less anything else.

Now it's two days with the folks, and after five days already I'm pretty burned out. I realized this trip that after 20 years I'm pretty done psychoanalyzing them - they are who they are and they certainly aren't going to change. All I an do is let it all slide like water off a duck!

The food has been great so far! Fantastic turkey and dressing. My chocolate pie came out better than ever. Mom made french toast this morning. Yum.

Hope you all had a great holiday!! I'll be back Monday.

Weekend

Before I get to the weekend...

what the hell kind of forcast is this? I've never heard anyone mention that there seems to be some sort of force field over this area of the country that forbids anyone seeing any sunshine except maybe once a week. Sigh.

It's been a decent weekend. Yesterday we went to see Stranger Than Fiction and both enjoyed it. It's a sweet little movie. It was slow in a few places, but that's ok on a rainy Saturday.

Other than that it's been a pretty slow weekend. After all the driving Friday it was nice to sleep late, hang out and relax. Well, Nerdstar needs the rest, me not so much.

Oh yeah. At the movie there were two young men sitting in front of us, I'd say around 18 to 20. Around half way through the movie I looked down and noticed they were holding hands. It was so cute! I mean, this is a pretty small town in a pretty butch area of the country. You could tell they were young and hopefully in love and trying to find their way.

Nerdstar's not familiar with being young and having to steal away to get "together" time when and where you can - but boy it sure brought back memories for me.

Wrong Assumptions

It was a mostly dull weekend. Nerdstar had to go to Army drill Friday night, then all day Saturday and Sunday. So that meant we didn't really get to do anything fun. She still hasn't gotten word on when she can take her oath for her promotion, so we don't know if/when that will happen, or what will happen after that in her military career.

We experienced some sticker shock (for lack of a better term) when she got her first paycheck. When she agreed to take this job at a certain salary, we picked that salary partly because it seemed reasonable, and partly because we thought it would be a decent raise from her army pay. Well, what we didn't know is that apparently if Uncle Sam owns your ass, he doesn't take out very much in taxes. In the Army you get lots of pay "extras" like housing and such, that equals lots of money, that I'm not thinking gets taxes. So although I'm pretty sure her base pay is more, her takehome pay will now be substantially less due to taxes. That was incredibly depressing to realize.

Part of the reason we moved here was that life was supposed to be cheaper on a higher salary. Well, both rent and things like cable and utilities appear to be more than we were hoping, while take home pay is a lot less.

Couple all of that with the outlook for me getting a job is also a lot more grim than I anticipated and I've been rather depressed the past week or so.

But, that's how life is. If I know nothing else, I know that things will change again. Hopefully for the better.

Crazy

It hasn't really been that long, but not having a job is already driving me crazy. I don't know why it's so hard to be unemployed. I think part of it is that I really thought I'd get a job fairly fast. Nope. I really, really want to stick with being a phlebotomist. I don't want to go back to doing some sort of office work - although I might find a job faster that way. The very idea crushes my soul. It sucks that I had just gotten into the groove of my last job. Bleh.

So cross your fingers and say your prayers that I find a job soon.

Adjusting

One adjustment we're having to make to living in a colder climate - wearing a lot more clothes around the house. I've spent most of my life hanging out around the house in a t-shirt and undies. Those days are apparently over until, say, June.

Here

Yesterday I was up at 1:30 a.m. trying to get the cats in their huge cage before they could hide under the bed. I finally got back to sleep about 4 and the alarm went off at 6:30 to get ready for the movers, who were fantastic and showed up at 7:30. Of course, the rain started about 1 a.m. and ended, oh, today.

I finally got on the road about 12:30 yesterday. I had to cancel the water service and turn in the cable box and turn in the apt. keys before I could leave town.

At about 6:30 last night I finally had to give up driving in the rain with all the big rigs and their splatter. I was exhausted.

I did at least get to watch Heroes in the hotel before trying to fall asleep!

I was going to get up and hit the road early this morning, but I had to wait for the rain to finally, finally stop. Ugh.

So after driving another 9 or so hours today through some of the really beautiful parts of this country - I'm finally in our new town. I saw the little house we're renting. It's cute, but little. Not sure where we'll put everything. It'll be lots of fun looking for a house to buy in Jan/Feb when there are ? feet of snow on the ground.

Well, my brain and body are fried. More to follow soon...

Movin Right Along

I've got the Muppet Movie song in my head.

Apparently, everything has fallen into place. Nerdstar found a decent little house to rent and has scheduled the movers for bright and early Monday morning!

Today was my last day at work. I'm not at all sad to be leaving Kansas City, but I am sad to be leaving my job. It's the best job I've had in many years. It was weird driving home thinking that was the last time I'll see that place.

I've gotten, I'd say, 90% of our stuff packed, but man, this last 10% is the hard part. And I think I'm going to run out of boxes. (Yes, I saved almost all of the boxes from the last move.)

Monday morning is going to be hectic. I've got to get up early and get the two cats into their huge cage before the movers get here and/or they decide it's time to hide under the bed. Then, after the movers pack everything in their truck, I've got to do all the little stuff, like turn in the apt. keys, cancel the PO box and forward the mail, cancel the cable, electic, water, and gas. Fortunately, half of that can be done by phone.

Then it's the two day drive to my new, unseen, home.

Nerdstar's in charge of getting everything up and running at the new place, but I'll be in charge of what goes where and unpacking.

I'm not sure how long before we'll get internet set up at the new place, but we'll post what we can when we can.

October 16

That's the day Nerdstar starts her new job in a small town in Pennsylvania. The $$ was too good to say no to.

She got the job offer Monday while she's in Houston for a few days visiting her sister.

My emotions have been a roller coaster ever since. I'll be a little sad to leave my job, but am also aware that a year from now I'll wonder why I was sad. It's no secret we're not crazy about KC, but we're moving to a really small town, in the mountains of PA. It could be a frying pan/fire thing - but I don't think so. One thing I've hoped for in our new location is some really good outdoor activities. Well, if we can handle all the snow, there should be plenty to do outdoors. We'll see if I can get my fat ass in shape enough to even try skiing some bunny hills!

As of now I have no idea how the logistics of this are going to work out. We were planning on going to see The Kid the weekend of the 20th. It's 8 1/2 hours here to Dallas, 15 hours here to PA, and 20 hours Dallas to PA. Not much of that sounds fun. Plus all the packing and finding somewhere to live in said small town.

So that's our good news. Anyone want to come help pack??

Two Kinds

There are two kinds of talking during sex.

The first six months it's the expected "ohhh yes, right there, mmmmm you're so good" sort of talk.

Then forever after that it's more "mmmmmmmm, did you remember to take out the trash? oooohhhhh did you put milk on the grocery list?"

Number Crunching

Well, looking at the spreadsheet I keep for monthly bills last night, I realized that having Nerdstar unemployed means losing 2/3 of our monthly income. Yikes! It sucks to realize that all of my hard work won't even cover our bills, much less things like gas and groceries.

As of now, Nerdstar has too many variables in her employment prospects to make any sense out of them, but we're good for a few months at least. It's certainly hard to start spending like unemployed people!

I'm also not sure we're leaving pergatory as soon as I'd hoped - but you never know. If I'm actually employed this holiday season, it'll be the first time in many years!

Misc.

It's been a decent week so far. I'm sure glad that not only is tomorrow Friday, but it's a long weekend. Saturday is haircuts and massages!

Work has been ok this week. I've mostly been at other locations that the main draw station I work at. At one place I'm the only phleb there, and the other there are two of us and a lot less patients. I'm not crazy about working a location by myself, but I guess it's a sure fire way to learn more!

It's mostly nice having Nerdstar home, but damn can that girl frustrate me. I asked one thing of her Monday night - that she be home when I get home so we can cook dinner and spend time together. Well, days two and three of that request - didn't happen. Bleh.

Other than that not much to write about.

Weekend

Nerdstar finally landed back in KC about 1 a.m. Friday night. I had been watching the weather radar online and saw there was going to be a short clearing - thankfully the pilots had had a long day and saw the same clearing and took it.

It's been a good weekend, too much food, but that's life with my Nerdstar!

We went to see Little Miss Sunshine today. I loved it!! I don't think I've seen a better cast movie than that - could the expressions on the sons face have been any more perfect? And while I kept wondering what in the world the grandpa was rehearsing with the little girl, even I didn't see that routine coming! But in the end - isn't that how families are - doing the right thing and looking out for each other when push comes to shove?

On an unrelated note. We've taken to calling living in the midwest living in pergatory. I've also written about how at least 75% of my patients at work are old white people. The other week when one of the doctor's offices was closed and we got all of their patients as well, the door opened and in walked six or seven OWPs rather slowly. I looked up and caught a glimpse and had to walk to another part of the office and laugh - I was totally reminded of Night of the Living Dead and zombies! I told that to one of my coworkers and they laughed, too. I guess it's only fitting that there are the living dead in pergatory.

Just a little more waiting

About midnight my time, Nerdstar will be getting on a plane and heading back home to me. I think as of right now she's probably on the 3 hour bus ride to the airport.

As for me, between now and picking her up at the airport, I've got to be at work at 7:30 (an hour and a half earlier than usual) and on top of that - it's just me and the manager working the first hour and a half - fun! I'm literally praying no patients come through the door during that time! It's going to be a long 5 hours at work before hitting the door.

I told Nerdstar that I'm so very, very glad she's coming home on a Friday afternoon so we have all weekend together, but that it also means I don't have the energy to get the house all cleaned before she gets here. In the three hours between leaving work and picking her up at the airport, I have to at least wrap her welcome home presents!

I'm ready to have my snuggle bunny home with me again. I certainly hope she's as tired of her being away from home as I am!

Building A Life

As is so often the case with my entries, this one is full of half formed thoughts and ideas.

How do you build the life you want? Or more to the point, how do I build the life I want?

I believe the past seven or eight years brought about an almost complete deconstruction of me. The year I turned 30 I changed everything I could change. Then came Nerdstar and the year + of Iraq and unemployment. I can only hope that was the low point of my life. Then came the move to the midwest.

But for reasons I can not articulate, I truly believe a corner has been turned. It's crazy how just having a job I feel good at has helped that feeling of optimism.

And while we aren't at all sure where Nerdstar's next job will be, I'm hoping it's safe to say that within the next two months or so, we'll be moving again.

The next two building blocks I hope and pray for are a baby and even just a small set of friends - maybe a group to play poker and ride motorcycles with.

Building blocks of life.

Outsider

It's been a decent weekend. One more on my own before Nerdstar returns.

In my cross-training duties at work, there were a couple of afternoons last week I got to work with one of the ladies (R) who was really helpful back when I was taking the phleb class. She works for the same boss, but over in a different lab location. Back during the class, the only guy in the class was in a band, so Nerdstar and I, one of the instructors and her husband, and R and a friend went to check him out. The only problem was, it wasn't his band playing that night. Oh well, the band that did play was pretty good.

This week R mentioned going out to hear some music at this new venue she's found, so Friday after work we met up with another friend of hers for dinner and then some more ladies joined us at the club to hear music.

R's asked how Nerdstar's doing, and we've talked a little about her being gone and my trip over there and such, talked a little about what comes next after Nerdstar comes home - as in who knows what's next. She refers to Nerdstar as "your girlfriend" but I'm almost positive she uses the term "girlfriend" as a generic term as some straight women are known to do. I let it slide and usually answer the best I can.

So, it was kinda funny, kinda ironic when we were at dinner and all of the sudden R leans in and comments on how one of the young women at the table diagonol from us is caressing the other young woman's leg with her foot - and then goes on to say how she doesn't mind people being like that - as long as she doesn't have to see it. I almost choked laughing, but caught myself. She asked if I minded and said of course I didn't. HA! Straight women can be so confusing!

It was cool listening to the jazz band. There was some vibe about the venue that had me craving getting high like no one's business. Another irony, R and one of her friends had talked about how people they knew were always smoking pot, but evidently they don't. So while I was only one degree separated from pot, there's no way I could try to get some.

I had a rum and coke and was pretty tired and my contacts were drying out, so I was pretty mellow. I'd listen to the band and let my mind wander. I tried to peg just what it is that made me feel so different from the other women at the table. And it was nothing to do with race or sexual orientation. (I was the only white chick.)

I just can't quite adequately express it. It was just a microcosm of why I don't like living in the Midwest.

One thing I noticed was an attitude toward tipping. I'm one of those people who tends to tip fairly well due to having waited tables in the past. What I realized was that these women have the view that they work hard for their money (and they do) and that they're not going to tip you well unless they think you've worked hard to earn it. It's not a huge thing, but it's just one of those differences of perspective that feels big.

I grew up lower middle class. But somehow I never knew that. I never felt like I lacked for anything. Although I think I got sensible money habits from my parents. But I don't view life as a poor, struggling person.

I really don't know how to express any of it. I can sit and talk and joke and have a decent time with those ladies. But I still feel like an outsider. Maybe it's just the whole thing, maybe it is that I'm white, I'm college educated, I don't perceive myself as poor and underclass, I'm gay, I've traveled.

It sure would be nice to find a city and a group of friends I don't feel like an outsider in.

Monday Monday

Just another Monday. The hospital lab I work for has several auxilliary locations that we staff as well. With employees dropping like flies, we're all supposed to be cross training - but that mostly means me cross training. A co-worker's kid is sick and can't be at day care, so I'm at a different location today. I got here around 10 a.m, it's now 2:40 and I've seen exactly one patient. Now, that's good in that I haven't been overwhelmed with things I don't know. But it's bad because I'm bored out of my skull. I explained to my boss just Friday that I've spent plenty of time alone and unemployed, so I much prefer working at our main lab. (Yes, even with insane co-workers.)

So I've done much surfing and blog reading today. My little blogroll is growing, and I love each and every blogger on it!

Well, only 17 or so days until Nerdstar comes home. I'm really ready for her to be home. I'm starting to look at it in terms of how many more nights I have to walk the dog, how many times I have to do laundry and clean the litter boxes before handing those responsibilities over to her for a while! :-) She's planning on spending a month playing stay at home wife - should be fun! Thankfully, the big bucks she was hoping to make while in Japan have come through.

Lazy Day

One thing about my job, it really makes me appreciate weekends again.

Today has been a total nap fest for me.

Nerdstar's sister lent her a laptop to take back to Japan with her, so Nerdstar installed Skype. Not only can she chat from her little barricks room, we can talk for free! Pretty cool. So we talked for a while last night. It's not that we haven't been talking, it's just that she's probably spent a small fortune in phone cards.

I woke up at the ungodly for a weekend time of 7:20 this morning. I got to talk with Nerdstar before she had to head to bed. Then I promptly took a nap from about 9:30 this morning till noon. That's when I decided it was one of those no shower/no leave the house days.

After vacuuming and eating a sandwich and watching some tv and starting a roast cooking I took another hour + nap.

I hate summer. It's too damn long, the days are too damn long, and there's entirely too much sunshine! Growing up in the Texas heat, which lasts from mid May to October made me a night person. I remember there were many days when I was younger that I wouldn't leave the house until after dark, which meant around 10 pm just to run errands.

Today feels like that. Because if I don't go get gas and groceries in the cool of the dark tonight, it's going to feel over 100 around here again tomorrow.

Yawn.

Life

I know my blogging has been kinda lame lately.

In some ways there really isn't much going on. Nerdstar heads back to Japan tomorrow after laying her grandma to rest. I can only hope that from a distance I've been at least a little comfort to her.

That said, in some ways I'll be glad when she's back in Japan because we'll actually be able to talk more. She hasn't had a cell phone with her in Houston, and, of course, it's been a hectic, hectic week for her. (Yes, I can be that selfish.)

Work is work. Most days go pretty well. Yesterday was a total Monday, every one in the office was just a little on edge. There are rumors of changes here and there in the office, but I'm learning to take things in stride. It's hard, but I'm trying to get better about not letting things that haven't happened yet frustrate me. I'm also working hard at not getting mad/frustrated about things I have no control over. Yes, that includes traffic. Ugh. Yesterday on the drive home I discovered the route I take home has a nifty little detour going. No warning, no idea how long that part of the highway will be closed. It's little consolation that I have two alternate routes - both add about five or six miles to an already long drive home.

On top of it all, it's the long, dog days of summer, and I hate hot weather. And with the sun shining all the damn time, it just makes the days seem way too long.

Bleh

Nerdstar made it to Houston today. Tomorrow they'll spend getting everything ready for the funeral on Saturday. Then she'll have a few days to spend with Grandpa before heading back to Japan on Wednesday.

It's frustrating not being there with her. But her family just really wouldn't want me there. And this just isn't one of those situations where you make waves and make points about things. It just seems wrong that she's going through such an important event in her life, and I feel like I'm only peripherally involved.

Not much else going on other than that. I'm ready for her to be home. Mostly because it sucks having to do everything by myself. As I've said before, I could never be a single mother. It almost takes more energy than I have these days to come home from work at feed the pets and walk the dog and cook some dinner. The only good thing is that at least there's no time table to deal with. I do it all whenever I get my butt up to do it.

Well, ok, and I really miss snuggle time!

Go

You can read Nerdstar's entry about her grandmother's passing here, and leave comments of support.

Update

Well, Nerdstar's Grandma died about 1:30 in the morning. The only consolation was that it was not slow and painful. Nerdstar's been talking with her sister and aunt about everything, trying to cope. She's going to be able to catch a plane out in the next day or two and head to Houston. Her and her chain of command are trying to figure out the best way to take leave, and it may end up just being that they cancel her orders all together and she doesn't have to go back to Japan. We'll know more in the next 24 hours.

She's dreaded this day for a long, long time. It's frustating to be so far apart while she's so sad.

Sad

My poor Nerdstar just called. Her grandma had what they think was a stroke a couple of days ago, and now the prognosis is looking bleak. It's hard for Nerdstar to really know the particulars, getting info third and fourth hand. And of course, it's all complicated for her being all the way in Japan right now. The Army has emergency leave, but it's not clear yet if she will be granted it or for how long. And for all kinds of reasons (having to do with my work and her family), I won't be able to meet up with her down in Houston.

Her sister had just had her last day at her job and was in the process of starting her move down to Houston, so at least she'll be able to be there with/for grandpa if the worst should happen.

So please keep Nerdstar and her family in your thoughts and prayers. She's incredibly sad. Grandma has come through several tough illnesses in the past eight or nine years, but...

Slowly but Surely

I'm slowly getting back into the groove of things. Although, I woke up about 3 a.m. then at 4:15 or so after still not getting back to sleep, got up and surfed around the net some. Come 6 a.m. I tried to sleep until the alarm was going to go off at 7:30, no such luck. So about 6:30 I was making pancakes and finally bringing the dog food up from the car.

On top of all that lack of sleep, I went in an hour early today, so it was a 9 hour day. On top of that, we've got a new class of phlebotomy students that my coworkers and I help train. I try very hard to be patient and helpful, you know, since it was a few short months ago I was in their position, but it is really rather nerve-wracking watching a newbie draw someone's blood. Thankfully the patients who agree to let a student draw their blood are usually very patient as well.

I'm pretty ready for Nerdstar to come home. She's going to take a couple of weeks off and catch up on sleep and pet the fur kids and clean and cook when she does come back. The only downside of working until 6 p.m. is getting home at 7 and not feeling like cooking dinner - but there aren't any decent restaurants around here to stop at on the way home either. It'll be nice to have a cook around!

Nerdstar would be blogging, but now that she's been switched from one set of bosses and jobs to a different set of bosses and jobs (trust me, it's all a mess!) she doesn't even have a computer 90% of the time. Instead she's getting to do things like equipment inspections, room inspections, guard duty, and I think Friday they have to go climb Mt. Fuji. Fun Fun Fun!!

Life Is Good

Life is good hanging out with The Kid and the dog. Ramen is so happy to have a backyard to run around in.

The Kid is at Vacation Bible School and I'm at the public library with 44 minutes of internet time. But it's free and easy.

We had a full day yesterday. VBS, lunch, bought a new toy at his favorite store - the Dollar Tree, played on the play area at Chick-Fil-A, went to see Cars (we really enjoyed it!!), played indoors, played outdoors, played indoors, took a bath.

My favorite part of the day was hanging out in the backyard with the two of them.

It's a little weird staying at my parents' house without them there. I've only done that one other time - and that was my senior year in high school. It was also a little weird setting foot in the church I grew up in.

The Kid leaves tonight to spend the week with his mom - he alternates every other week. He doesn't like to go and told me he's ready to tell a judge he doesn't want to go there. Poor kid.

I'm looking forward to doing a little shopping the next couple of days. It's nice to spend time in a place with good food and good shopping and no real plans.

Woohoo!

I am on vacation!!

I've got a Mav's basketball game to watch tonight. (I cussed at the tv a lot the other night after their 1 point loss.) One last time I have to walk the dog before he was 3 weeks of backyard time! I've gotten 2 litter boxes ready, washed the dishes, gotten all of the bills set to be paid, and am almost packed (mostly because I'm just putting the whole laundry basket in the trunk).

Tomorrow morning I just have to finish loading the car, drop off the rent check, mail out a package to Nerdstar, get some breakfast, and hit the road.

I'm excited to see The Kid tomorrow. Thursday we take him to see Cars and get ice cream. I'm almost as excited to get to eat Whataburger, Chick-Fil-A and Braums Ice Cream!

I shoule be back online Saturday, I'm hoping to use some free wifi at Barnes and Noble while staying at the folks.

Death

I don't expect this post to be very coherent.

My best friend from kindergarten to high school graduation was Theresa. We've been in touch a few times over the years since then, but haven't stayed close. Growing up, our parents were good friends, too.

Today, my Mom called to tell me Theresa's mother had died. It makes me so sad.

I hate death. I mean really, really resent and hate it.

I don't know if it's because I'm 38 and feel like I haven't even gotten started with my life, much less want it to be half over. Or because death is, for all we know, so damn permanent. Even if there is something after this life, and it does last for "eternity", then that makes the shortness of life here and now seem even more of a bad deal. (This post isn't about starting a debate about religions or the "afterlife".)

If I'm ever given a choice to "freeze" at whatever age I am for as long as I want - I'd make that choice in a heartbeat!