Beth's Contradictory Brain

Nerdstar Update

From an email I got from her:

Today has been easier duty wise... even though we had spent the majority of the day outside. I saw the captain who said that he was going to send me home but he didn't say anything to me when he saw me... so I don't know and stay tuned. Sometime tomorrow we are supposed to bring everything back and at 3 am friday morning, we are supposed to get tested in land navigation... must get 5 out of 8 target or fail and that's another way to go home. I'll be walking around from 3 to 10 am... and I hope that I can find these targets!! If not, then you'll have to pick me up and head home! Lots of planes are flying overhead because they are trying to give airborne school students their day and night jumps. I took a shower in the dark tonight because the power went out in the shower tent.

If you had any idea how bad Nerdstar's navigation skills are... We've joked that we can't buy too big a house or else she'll always have to leave breadcrumbs to find her way around it. But, she also seems to come through when necessary - so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her.

Nerdstar Update by Me

Yes, it's 3:15 a.m. and I'm writing on my blog. Figure if I'm this awake at this time I might as well do something semi-productive.

I was hoping Nerdstar would have a chance to update her blog this weekend, but she got a little busy.

Last week was not her favorite week in life. She had to do a lot of physical training - even extra training because she's older and slower than all the other Army peeps who are in their early 20s. Evidently one of her company commanders is giving her a hard time. Frustrating. Then they had weapons training/qualifications. On that day she had to be at guard duty at 4:00 a.m. Then there was the daily PT, then briefings. Then she was at the weapons range until 11 p.m. And it was wet and muddy and smelled gross. And because that wasn't fun enough, she had to go back the next day and finish qualifying on weapons. (You'd have to ask her exactly what all that means - I don't know the types of weapons or what targets they have to hit.)

She's stuck eating either chow hall food or Subway. The chow hall isn't even open after 6:30 p.m. and most of the time they're finishing their day a lot later than that and Subway is the only place within walking distance. For those of you who know Nerdstar at all, you know food is the most important thing in her life. So this just adds insult to injury - having to put up with all this AND not get any good food.

Saturday after she had more extra PT time, she and a couple other army chicks went to a renaissance fair. When she texted me that's where she was heading I knew the biggest reason she was going was to eat some turkey legs. Sure enough, the text I got later was a big picture of the turkey leg stand. After that the chicks she was with decided to do driving all over Georgia. They ended up running out of gas at one point and almost driving off the road from being tired as well.

My two cents on that is that I wish she'd been smarter and not stayed out until after 1 a.m. because she'd had a long week and needed to rest up. But I know when you're not the one driving/making the decisions, sometimes you're along for a ride that goes farther than you'd like. Sigh.

Today she finally got to sleep late. She spent a lot of time re-packing gear to head out into "the field" this week. My understanding is that for four days they head a little further into the woods for field training, land navigation and such. These are not Nerdstar's strengths. And while out there they'll be staying in what are basically large warehouse rooms with bunk beds - but no co-ed.

What's made a lot of this more bearable is that she's had her blackberry with her and we can text back and forth. I'm kinda surprised the army lets them keep them during all of this.

One other thing that's my two cents. I've always said that in theory the army should have one set of standards. If you can do X,Y and Z as is necessary to perform any certain job in the military, then I don't care your gender, sexual preference, height, weight, age, etc. Qualify and the job is yours.

Well, 90% of the people in this course with Nerdstar are in men in their early 20s. And there's just qualify or don't qualify. So it's naturally harder for her sometimes. But so far she's done fine. And I'm proud of her for that. I could not have made it through 2 days of what she's had to do. I couldn't even stand all the noise in her dorm, or the constantly being around all those people, or even just being awake all the hours she's had to be awake.

Keep her in your prayers, she's got five more weeks of this class.

Nerdstar Update

Here's her take on her first week.

I'm baaaaack!

I am finally back from Iraq, it took a few days between Kuwait, then Germany, Canada, Maine, New Jersey (our luggage is still there), Illinois, and finally, Washington!

I was/am so glad to see Beth and Ramen! Looking forward to making up for all the missed conversations, sex, walks, and everything else! It has so far been a kind of grueling week of outprocessing, with leaders who don't necessarily know what they are doing. It's a relief to go back to the hotel room and not the barracks when the day is through!

Beth is so wonderful, she showered me with lots of hugs, snuggles, and ..... well, you know! This past year and a half has been hard on her and I've got lots of making up to do, and lots of stuff to work out , but I am confident that things will hopefully all come together in time.

I am so looking forward to this roadtrip home! Seeing the rest of our pets, and seeing my families again! I will write more after this whole army business is over! I've got some snuggling to do!

Nerdstar

The Latest

Here's the latest...

I am at Kuwait now, at Camp Doha, where central command used to be. They put us up in a big warehouse full of bunk beds and it's unisex.

My main task today is do a 2 hour weapons guard, eat some fast food, read, and try to keep lines of communications open with you so you'll know what's
going on when I do.

5 p.m. her time is about 8 a.m my time. Fortunately, it doesn't matter what time I start driving tomorrow - and hopefully it'll still be tomorrow. If not, well, not much I can do about it other than be flexable.

At least she's where it's safe, but I can't imagine having to spend a week sleeping in a big warehouse full of other people!

Nerdstar Update

This is the email I got from her this morning:

I am at the airfield now, and they are trying to, as space becomes available, get us on the c-130 flights to Kuwait city, the first flight will leave around noon but I probably won't be on it. Hopefully, I'll be able to get on a flight before the day is over.

I will give you more updates as events warrant.

As for me, I'm off to get Ramen all cleaned up and to do laundry. I haven't been able to shake all the worries and get excited yet. I'll breathe easier once she's in Kuwait. I'll have four days on the road to daydream about finally seeing her again!

Nerdstar Update

Yes, there was a significant change in the countdown days until Nerdstar comes home. It's still a very approximate number, but at least it's getting smaller!

A few weeks ago Nerdstar told me they were talking about a mid September date for her little unit to leave Iraq. The biggest questions regard their replacements, I don't think the answers to those questions are totally answered yet, so you never know how the picture will change.

Mostly I've been too afraid to even say "September" out loud for fear of jinxing it. Then I got this message from her this morning:

(Yep, I finally had to edit the official word out... I figured I would. No big deal. You get the jist of what it said.)

So, yes, it's looking good. Keep your fingers crossed and prayers said!

My worry levels, however, will remain rather elevated until she's actually in my line of sight. As I've written about before, there are just too many instances of bad things happening to soldiers in the weeks before their homecoming. Her little base is still getting a few mortar attacks most days.

Yikes!

These next few days may be a bit tense, 4 mortar attack on this FOB, and one of them hit where I was drying my clothes, so I lost all these pt shirts and undies, most of them got shrapnelled beyond recognition, but they're just army issued clothes that I don't have to return, I've got plenty more, but the undies? Well, I am doing more undies shopping when I get back anyways! I am going to mail one of these shirts back home, I think my clothes should get a
purple heart! So needless to say, I got lucky again.

on autopilot in Iraq

Hello everyone! It's nerdstar again, almost at the end of "the mission" and cannot wait to come back home! I've been away since last May and even though time has a way of passing by rather fast, still each day just have this tendency to stretch.
All of us are on some sort of autopilot mode now, now that our jobs have been more defined, you are either pulling tower guard duty until the end of time, or you have one of those jobs where you sit in a hardtop building, somehow trying to make everything run smoothly. We've had our mortar attacks here and there, but it's really a kind of surreal when you are not "out there" seeing how things really are. Most of us have jobs that keep us on post and we cannot travel much to anywhere else, unless you get sick, needing to goto the field hospital, or getting supplies from another post.
I don't know if all deployments of war could be defined as the one that we have right now. Where the enemies could shoot at you but you cannot shoot back, where the biggest concern of the moment is the cat population on post, and the biggest gossip of the day is who is doing who. We've got combat stress specialists here, but if you are not infantry or on patrols, and did not see a lot of carnage, then I guess the "stress" just comes from being stuck here, doing the same thing from day in and day out, eating the same food, and watching people make big issues out of small things just because they can.
I try to cope with this repetitiveness by simply making fun of everything, even if it doesn't seem funny to other people, thinking about the trip back home, Vegas, Captain and Tenille, my pets, home and everyone in it, and taking lots of photos, some terrible, but some fun (not a professional photographer here!)
Sometimes, I'd think that I was a minor character in "Lord of the Flies", and other times, I felt like I was back in high school, with all the dramas between people (I have to say that I was a part of that too at one time.), except you have to live with the people in that high school.
I miss being a hermit, that sort of was the kind of life that we've lead in Austin, just us and the pets. I also found out that, I am not as introverted as I thought that I once was, I actually like going out of the FOB on patrols, bumming for a seat on other peoples' missions, and just seeing what's out there.
Well, I've got to close this entry for now, there's now a line of people waiting to use the computers, but I will write more to y'all soon about life here. Take good care and dodge that mortar!

Nerdstar Update

I got this email from her this morning. Mostly I'm glad to see her sense of humor is still intact! (Well, of course I'm glad her body is still intact!)

We've been mortared left and right ever since mid-evening yesterday! I haven't heard of any deaths yet but there were some brown and root people who got injured. Report from the other FOB said that there were insurgents who were dressed up like ninjas shooting ak-47's, grenades and rockets at that FOB! I never thought that we'd be attacked by ninjas! Didn't even know they had ninjas in Iraq! We should have samurai warriors here instead of us!

There's this private whom, because he was kept out of his room due to lock problems, went off at the sgt. in charge of the mayor cell (like the facility managers of the FOB, who are nothing but a bunch of lazy asses anyways), that private got ordered to go to anger management classes and they are going to chapter him out of the army... he must have really went off at that sgt.

Looks like this is the same story in the news.

August 1

Yeah, it's the start of another new month, which means one is finished and I'm that much closer to having my Nerdstar home. We still don't know exactly when she'll be coming home. We have our fingers crossed and prayers said for sooner rather than later.

I keep trying to get her to write an update for here, but they keep having troubles with the servers over there. She got to go out on a patrol in one of the Mosul neighborhoods with the new psych. ops. unit stationed there. Mostly they were surrounded by all the kids. She said she took a lot of pictures, so eventually she'll mail them back here and I'll get them developed and on the fotopage. She's doing well for the most part. Fortunately things have been mostly quiet over there for her, although I always hate writing that for fear of jinxing it.

I've rounded the corner where I'm anticipating her being home more than I worry - so that's good but scary. Once we actually know a more definite timeframe, I'll bore you all to tears every day with all the minute details of getting ready for her to come home.

Sums it up

This is part of my IM with Nerdstar.

cinchsack: a mortar round just exploded
cinchsack: third time today
cinchsack: looks like we are back to the way things were
bethlyn327: yuck
cinchsack: two of them went off during lunch
cinchsack: we saw all these people running out of the chow hall
cinchsack: i stood up, looked around, and then sat back down to eat
bethlyn327: lol
bethlyn327: did they hit the chow hall or just close?
cinchsack: i don't know where they hit exactly
cinchsack: but sounded close
cinchsack: they've always been trying to hit the chow hall
bethlyn327: that's so rude !
cinchsack: yeah, but they are doing it all for Allah
bethlyn327: i'm sure he's thrilled
cinchsack: yeah

bethlyn327: thank god when this deployment is over we're done
bethlyn327: i couldn't do this even another year
cinchsack: i can't either
cinchsack: and they're wondering why i won't reenlist?
bethlyn327: i hate not having any control over such big things like being 8 million miles apart
cinchsack: it's like, they'll tap you every 6 months or so
cinchsack: yeah
bethlyn327: it might be tollerable if you were stateside all the time
bethlyn327: but even then, i don't know
bethlyn327: or if we weren't gay maybe
cinchsack: yeah
bethlyn327: so far they say they've kept up enlistment numbers
bethlyn327: but i can't imagine that in another year or two they will
cinchsack: the only reason why the enlistment # is up is because of stop loss
bethlyn327: they've said they're hitting new recruit #s too
cinchsack: it's like, you try to get out, but they pull you back in
cinchsack: most of them are gay
bethlyn327: huh?
cinchsack: heheeheheh
cinchsack: gay documentary filmmakers, looking for the next bright idea
bethlyn327: freak
bethlyn327: let's just move to a little island and have kids and pets
cinchsack: yeah!
cinchsack: or minnesota
bethlyn327: minnesota is damn cold baby
cinchsack: yeah, but I've got body heat!!!!
bethlyn327: but that doesn't help when we have to leave the house
cinchsack: we'll shop for groceries on the net
cinchsack: and only go out to dump trash or play in the snow
cinchsack: ramen's fur is going to be so plush
cinchsack: and little man and silly's fluffy!
bethlyn327: and money will just fall from the sky?
cinchsack: yeah!
bethlyn327: woohoo!
cinchsack: we'll live off of welfare
bethlyn327: lmao
bethlyn327: ok
cinchsack: at least we won't use it to buy beer
cinchsack: and cheap cheese
cinchsack: or butter
cinchsack: or cigarettes
bethlyn327: you crack me up
bethlyn327: what a pair we are
cinchsack: heheehehe
bethlyn327: if either of us had any ambition we might actually be dangerous
cinchsack: yeah
bethlyn327: kind of like Pinky and the Brain hehehe

cinchsack: i had a little talk with my nco about promotion
cinchsack: i stated that how come he's giving me such a hard time when, before, he promoted all those numbnuts that eventually got into trouble
bethlyn327: yeah
cinchsack: of course, he gave me a bunch of bull
cinchsack: asked me why i wanted to get promoted so fast
cinchsack: fast?
bethlyn327: LOL
bethlyn327: what an ass
cinchsack: I said to him that I will be getting out in may
cinchsack: I'd like for this to be the last thing that I do
bethlyn327: heh
cinchsack: whatever
cinchsack: he's just trying to save army $
bethlyn327: can you take it over his head?
cinchsack: the company commander, fat bastard, was there too, he heard everything
cinchsack: but knowing him, he won't do shit
bethlyn327: can't hurt to ask
cinchsack: he was there, in fact, I asked him to join in
cinchsack: he didnt' say a word
bethlyn327: what a bunch of pricks
cinchsack: yeah
bethlyn327: i wish you were over there with better people
cinchsack: well, my sanity is on the top prioirity right now
cinchsack: screw these numbnuts
bethlyn327: yeah
bethlyn327: just come home safe and get out
cinchsack: yeah
cinchsack: that's on top of the list
bethlyn327: in the long run none of this will matter
cinchsack: yeah
cinchsack: that's true
bethlyn327: i know it's hard to keep perspective
bethlyn327: especially when this year seems more like ten
bethlyn327: but a year or two from when you get home it'll all be a bad dream
cinchsack: yeah

Back to Light and Furry

Nerdstar and I have had good luck and timing and have been able to IM the past three days for quite a while. Her and Zachary got to make faces at each other! Zach doesn't quite understand how a webcam works yet - he wanted to hold it and move it around and look at the video on the screen, he didn't get that the camera picked up the pictures to put on the screen. It was kinda like watching Blair Witch!

Today when Nerdstar logged on I asked how she was and she said, "Look." And without the benefit of tone of voice or anything, in the time between when I read "Look" and could actually see her on the screen, I was so afraid I'd be looking at a mangled Nerdstar. (Nope, no logic to it whatsoever, if she were truly mangled she wouldn't be online.)

What I did see when the picture came thru was her holding a tiny little orange tabby kitten. Can you say too cute for words! One of the other soldiers was trying to take care of the momma cat and she had the kittens in his trailer a couple of weeks ago. But when I asked about them the other day Nerdstar said his chain of command had made him get rid of them. Yes, that pissed her off, and no, it doesn't make any sense to me. On her way to the computer lab she heard this kitten crying very loudly from under one of the trailers, so she brought it along.

I'm not sure it's even possible to try to raise it if she can't find the momma cat. She's going to look and to try. I found her a good webpage about taking care of abandoned kittens, the problem is actually finding any of the stuff required over on her base. The other problem, if it manages to survive for the rest of her time over there, and doesn't run off, what to do with it when she leaves. I can only imagine how sad she'd be if something bad happened to it!

Anyway, it was lots of fun to see her and this tiny little kitten in a box on my computer screen!!

UPDATE: This is part of the email I got from Nerdstar this morning:

I am keeping a different cat now, still a kitten, but more grown than little man when we got him, it's a she and how I got to keep her was because one of the mail clerks rescued her from the helipad and she couldn't think of anyone else to keep her. I hope no one finds out!!!! I made a littler box of sand from the sandbags laying around the area, and we've already taken a nap together.

Today was so very hot, hotter than any other days that I've known, so I just tried to hole up in the air conditioned area (today's my day off), and just read and slept.

Nerdstar related news

Two topics Nerdstar and I talked about yesterday when she called were: are things going to get more violent over the next week or so, and is the Stryker Brigade now at Ft. Lewis going to replace them and when. Well, there are tons of links on the Stryker Brigade News website today about all of it.

Starting in October, more than 4,000 soldiers with the Army's second Stryker brigade will deploy to Iraq, where they will replace another unit from Fort Lewis, post officials announced Wednesday.

We were really hoping that replacement process would start a little sooner, if the replacements were starting to move over in September, there would be a better chance of Nerdstar coming home in late October. The process of moving one brigade in and the other out takes a long time. But, with luck I'll have her home by Thanksgiving, which is what I've kinda figured all along.

"I would surely hope that they get home before Christmas," Beninato said of soldiers in the 3rd Brigade. "But there's no guarantee." (added: That sentence pisses me off, if they'd get it together and start sending the replacements in say, August/September there would be a guarantee that not only would the Styrkers be home by Christmas, they might actually be home within a year of deployment. It's not like decent planning couldn't guarantee that, which has been my biggest complaint about military operations to date - poor planning and logistics.)

As for the violence going on in Iraq today, we talked about how the targets aren't primarily US soldiers and bases, it's Iraqis who are working toward establishing their own freedom. The only good thing about that for me is that at least Nerdstar is still relatively safe. She doesn't get to wander off of base too often, and probably not at all while things are "hot", and maybe if the bad guys are busy attacking other targets, they won't lob as many mortars into the base.

UPDATE: I got this short email from Nerdstar:

I am in my bosses' office because they are expecting some attacks overnight, the city has been under a curfew and some key places in the city has been attacked and they lost some Iraqis. When I walked down to this place, I saw strykers standing by, ready to be sent somewhere. I hope it'll be a quiet evening, I am so tired of these "warnings" and stuff. Just send us all home, for crying out loud. So if you didn't hear anything from me, it's because I am trapped here until further notice.

More on Nerdstar

Nerdstar called again this afternoon because she'll be out of touch for a couple of days. This is the email I got from her:

How are you doing today? It was great to hear your voice! I miss you and the kids very much, looks like I am about to fill up yet another journal again!

It doesn't feel as depressing/empty in the room the less time that I spend there, maybe in time, people will want to come in and chat. I think in general, I am glad that there are not as many people who'll have to put up with daily mortaring and this sweltering heat... I wish I was one of them though.

It's hitting 106, 108 every day over there. And it's more humid than I thought it was, so that's bad. To answer the questions in the comments from the last post - all we know about her brigade coming home is that they're the first to be rotated out in the fall. We hope that means October instead of November, but we won't have any idea of a timeline until their replacements start showing up.

On the phone today she kept trying to talk me into coming to see her over there now that she has her trailer to herself :-) I explained that even if I found her basecamp and made it there, the army guards wouldn't let me in. We joked that I'd just say I was there to see Nerdstar. It's a nice daydream. But trust me, if I thought there was any chance I could actually do it, I'd be booking the next flight to Iraq!

As for the "live porn" - she could write a year's worth of soap opera material based on her roommate's adventures in Iraq. I keep trying to get her to write about it on here, but her roommate knows this site exists, so she was waiting until she was gone. Nerdstar said it was weird not having anyone knock on the trailer door at all hours of the night last night. I'll just say there was more than one night Nerdstar had to sleep somewhere other than her trailer.

Good Timing

My Nerdstar has had fantastic timing lately. Last week I had just gotten out of the shower when the phone rang and it was her. Today, I just logged off the computer and was about to head out to get some lunch and run some errands and the phone rang, again, it was her. It's always so good to talk to her. Especially since I was feeling really down the other night. She always makes me smile and laugh.

Her life in Iraq just got a lot more calm - her floosy of a roommate is done with her time in Iraq. Nerdstar now has her little trailer all to herself. Now that there won't be live porn in her room, maybe she can get more sleep.

It's a tricky time emotionally. We're over halfway done with this longest year, but there's no set return date yet. We're both starting to daydream about her homecoming, but really it's too far away to start anticipating.

I'll be busy for the next couple of weeks, so that will help.

Mostly I hope that I'm not just wasting this year. It's hard not to play what-if over and over.

Nerdstar Update

I just took my pt test this morning and I passed! That's something that I'll never will have to think about again! Yay!

Yesterday, I was on a convoy all day long to get some armored door on our humvee, and it was so hot and dusty there, I felt like I was a piece of Monglian bbq!

The guy that I saw getting pulled out of his trailer has passed away last night in his sleep, one of the other guy has lost one of his eyes due to shrapnel wounds.

Today, I am just going to try to take it easy, the past few days has been quite taxing physically and mentally.

No words

Needless to say reading this email from Nerdstar makes me cry:

I wish that my life was unexciting today. 6 trailers got taken out by mortars, I was in the area and saw/heard everything. One of the guys who got injured got pulled out of his trailer, he was lifeless, and bled so much that you couldn't tell where he was bleeding from, the rest of the people in the trailer (this happened around 1 in the afternoon) got either burns or burns/shrapnel wounds, a few of them had to be airlifted to Baghdad, because the med. facilities here couldn't do much of anything for them.

Me and few other people pulled fire extinguishers out of other un-hit trailers and started spraying, but it was no use, the insulation materials of the trailers burned really fast and before you know it, everything was in flames.

There's this one sgt., who usually cuts my bangs, and her soldiers were the ones who got injured and when she found out, she was shaking and I kind of lost it too.... a few minutes later. I've never seen anyone so bloodied and screamed so loud in my life, and the people that got hit were really young too.

I was in one of the trailers that got destroyed just a few minutes earlier, I stepped out, figured I can use a few minutes to check my e-mail, and then it happened, two of the people who were still in that trailer got 2nd. degree burns.... I think someone wants me to live.

I miss you, and wish that I could just go home now, I wish that everyone could go home.

I will write more to you soon, hug yourself and the kids for me!

I have to admit I don't pray for Nerdstar very often. And lately the worry has been a little more below the surface. But, last night when I finally went to bed after not hearing from her all day, the worry level increased and I said the briefest of prayers. There's just no explaining the complete randomness of who gets hurt/killed and who doesn't - and that's what makes it so hard. Well, that and being completely unable to do a damn thing from here to make my girl any safer.

This is twice she's left a building less than thirty minutes before it was blown up. Hopefully she's like a cat and has nine lives!

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the soldiers involved.

Nerdstar Update

Fortunately we were in an IM when I got this email...

I went on a convoy with my commander and 1st. sgt., to check out a bunch of schools made of mud! They wanted to make sure that the locations of the schools were correct so when they make the proposal to give out $ and supplies, they'll know where exactly these schools are. I took some pictures, and these villages are the most primitive looking places that I've ever seen!

We might have to move to Baghdad in a few weeks, it seems like General Sanchez has a hair up his ass... he wants to reposition the troops. There is no official order yet, but everyone is saying that it's coming, and it'll hit us like a bat out of hell. There will be no trailers, so we'll be going back to the tent, and we'll be back to eating army foods, cooked by army cooks, there is currently no brown and root support where we might be going... (a bit south of Baghdad)

If that's true, then it's going to suck so bad. Our commander has already told us to start packing up... I will let you know if/when it becomes official.

I need to do laundry too, my clothes are so dusty, and I was dirty too from the convoy, the shower water turned brown when I was taking one!

Then this is part of our IM:

bethlyn327: ugh... just read your email
bethlyn327: that really sucks
cinchsack: yeah, now, after your convoy, I've got more really dirty clothes
cinchsack: yeah, isn't it?
bethlyn327: hopefully it's just a nasty rumor
bethlyn327: would they move the whole stryker brigade?
cinchsack: for a nasty rumor, it seems like everyone has already accepted that as facty
cinchsack: they said that the "warning order" was supposed to come down tonight
cinchsack: or earlier this afternnoon
cinchsack: yes, it'll suck big time
bethlyn327: just seems unnecessarily dangerous to go moving so many troops around
cinchsack: yeah, some feather up someone's ass
bethlyn327: how far south of baghdad?
cinchsack: I dunno
bethlyn327: one of those dangerous places
cinchsack: but at a place with no "facilities".
cinchsack: so it'll be back to the basics
bethlyn327: no email or anything huh?
bethlyn327: i'll go crazy
cinchsack: I dunno
bethlyn327: you'll have to start writing snail mail all the time!
cinchsack: yeah
cinchsack: I'll be like human jerky in all that heat and no ac!
bethlyn327: oh man, that will suck!
bethlyn327: i mean, in some ways i know it seems more fair, but...
cinchsack: but?
bethlyn327: but i don't care about fair! i care about you being safe and comfy!
cinchsack: I don't know how we can get out of it
cinchsack: I don't want to go to a place that's more dangerous and a lot less comfy
bethlyn327: i know

I know there are some people who would object to me putting out such a rumor about troop movement, honestly, I don't care. My goal with these post about Nerdstar and I during this deployment are simply to show how this affects two people and their families.

UPDATE: I've seen the news stories about Sanchez being replaced. I haven't caught Nerdstar online since to ask her if that will make any difference.

Nerdstar update

I think other than going to bed, going to Whole Foods makes me miss Nerdstar more than anything. I just want to pack up the whole store and send it to her. Her love of food is rivaled only by her love for me, although there can be a serious debate about which comes first!

She's doing pretty well over there. She's been a lot happier since she finally got a job to do. She said their truck broke down yesterday, but fortunately not while they were on a convoy. She's been having roommate troubles, but her roommate is somewhere else this week and then coming back to the states next month. At least living with this girl makes living with me look much easier! It's in the 90s over there and she says it's already really hot. Several times when I've seen her on the webcam she's got her camelpack water stray thing in her mouth all the time.

Nerdstar Update

The new job is great! I finally have something to do and new people to meet! Their convoys are very safe, they take more precautions than a lot of other
people who run convoys that I've been on, so I feel pretty safe!

The kind of convoys that I am usually on are for supply runs, they usually screen the route early in the morning to ensure that there are no ied's, all
these intel people would be on shift for 24/7 to try to make sure that the threat is mininum. They will cancel convoys if the threat is too high.

I've been so tired in the past few days, with the roommate conflict and the new job, that I didn't go and work out like I usually do, but it's getting better so my routine should be re-established. I am also going to try to come back to computer lab so we can IM again!

Nerdstar Update

From her latest email:

Sorry that I wasn't able to be online yesterday or the night before. A total of 6 mortar rounds went off in the last 2 days/nights, and two of them went off about 30 feet away from where we were in the computer lab, I guess it was something of a sign that I shouldn't linger any longer in that area.

I am safe and sound though, so don't worry!

I went on a convoy to give the chief warrant her leave packet, we took the long way to the airfield and the ride was rough, we got tossed around the back of the truck somewhat, thank God that no one fell out of it!

I got so tired afterward that I just fell asleep, but not for too long, my roommate came back from her convoy and was bitching about how her bosses don't let her do anything on convoys anymore since her co-worker got hurt.

And this group needed help with getting someone from the med. clinic, a 22 years old had a heart attack while playing volleyball... supposedly, he had a pre-existing heart condition, so my question is, why is he even here?

Andy's 5 Questions

Yesterday Stephen wrote a post about Andy Rooney's 5 Questions to soldiers. I decided to take it to the source and emailed them to Nerdstar to get her answers. Here they are:

1. Do you think your country did the right thing sending you into Iraq?

My country would have done the right thing by sending me into Iraq with a specific duty, I did not come here just to be here and not do much of anything.
I am a supply clerk to a unit with minimal supply activity.

2. Are you doing what America set out to do to make Iraq a democracy, or have we failed so badly that we should pack up and get out before more of you are killed?

There is a lot of misunderstanding between the Iraqi people, what they wanted, and what we think they wanted. Military might will quell the conflicts for a
little while. There is a large distance between the common Iraqis and the so called leaders, to which, some of them already were in positions of power before
the coalition took over, and have very little clues as to what their people are going through. Sometimes, America does't have all the answers.

3. Do the orders you get handed down from one headquarters to another, all far removed from the fighting, seem sensible, or do you think our highest command is out of touch with the reality of your situation?

Extremely so, to the higher headquarters people, it's all about what they can present to their superiors that seems to be filling all the gaps. We've got cooks who are not cooking, supply clerks who are not doing supply operations, in general, there seems to be a lot of misplacement of personnels. Some of us, just plain don't have defined duties.

4. If you could have a medal or a trip home, which would you take?

A trip home, of course!

5. Are you encouraged by all the talk back home about how brave you are and how everyone supports you?

If the claims were only correct! Americans seem to go through phases of supporting the troops and then not so much so.

Nerdstar Update

This is part of an email I got from her this morning:

Sorry that I was not able to get on. We got bombed big time last night. The first one landed at the gym, and it injured about 25 people and killed one. There were firefights at the gates, and another bomb just exploded outside one of the gates. We had to get our full combat gear on and stay in buildings instead of
our trailers, and it'll be that way for the next two nights. I don't know if what's happening in Fallujah is coming up here, but they said that what happens or
doesn't happen in the next two nights will be a good indicator of what's to come.

I am alright, even though I was at the same gym just 30 minutes before. For some reasons, I decided not to work out at my usual work out time and opted for a work out about one hour earlier than usual. See, Nerdstar will live for a long time!

Stupid and Frustrating

More exerpts from one of our IMs. The breaks are where I deleted unrelated sappy stuff. This isn't graphic or anything, but it is about troops dying. The rest is our unrefined bitching and moaning.

Update

Nerdstar and I got to IM again last night. She says there are still explosions several times a day around their camp, but nothing more serious yet. At that time her roommate had been gone 24 hours and she didn't know anything yet. I got this email from her this morning:

My roommate didn't get shot at, she's at the airfield, where the hospital is, as
well as everyone else on the convoy. I guess they are waiting until the person
who got shot gets somewhat recovered so they could come back. So I guess she's alright.

Damn

This isn't an easy entry to read, it's about the real danger over there, and about soldiers and others being killed. Unfortunately that's the reality of it. I wish to God it wasn't.

The 1st. annual nerdstar's snacks for the troops drive!

Greetings from Iraq! This is nerdstar and I'd like to say thanks to those who sent me birthday cards and they really made my birthday! Some friends of mine treated me to the local Arabic restaurant on base and donated snickers bar to me, which I enjoyed it in a flash!

I'd like to request a favor, we'd really appreciate it if all or some of you faithful readers of this blog can donate some snack foods, nothing fancy, like ramen, m&m's, snack cakes, etc. and send it to :

Spc.
HHC 3-2 SBCT
APO AE 09385

We'd really appreciate it!

Update:
I don't think you can send too much beef jerky, dried fruit mixes, oreos, or even canned speghetteos.
Beth

Another update: She's also mentioned pens, writing pads, stationary, books, magazines, powdered drink mixes - unsweetened kool aid little packs, nuts.

So Sad

This is from Nerdstar's email:

It has been a pretty sleepy day so far, overnight, this infantry solider killed himself because (this is heresay) he got dumped by his girlfriend. No one has
said anything about it yet, this is typical 3rd. brigade, just like how they dealed with the rape at Camp Udairi.

The weather here was so hot that I had to turn the AC on for a while. I heard that they are also going to inspect all of our rooms for contrabands like alcohol, etc. because... get this they've actually got someone to go through trash and found jack daniels bottles. I say bring it on, and please clean out my room while you are at it.

I can't imagine how hard it is for a family to have a soldier be killed while over, but man, suicide that would be even harder. I can't imagine the stress and pressure and other crap that soldiers go thru being deployed. The army has psychologists and chaplains and try to do what they can for the soldiers, but it's still so hard to be deployed and away from home. Then if things back home aren't going well, and from what I hear lots of soldiers get breakup and divorce notices while away, I can only imagine how devastating that can be.

In going back thru all my entries trying to put them in categories, I was reading last night how mad I was at Nerdstar when she was finally sent to Iraq. But I also knew very quickly that I had to put all that aside and do whatever it took to help her get thru this. Because no matter how bad I think I have it here at home, she has it so much worse.

Greetings from Mosul

Hi everyone! I am experiencing some residual jet-lag and a case of the sinus headache, what welcome back gifts they are! Everyone has been saying hello to me, nothing here has changed too much, depends on where you look at.

There are, a lot more people here, from different divisions and countries, that'll likely make this place more interesting. That's not to say that I'll know enough of them to really get the big picture.

Some of the air force guys have left to go home, lucky for them, they don't usually get deployed for more than 4 months, 6 at the most. One of them, who's sort of dating my roomate, has donated his stash of ramen, which is great because I have yet to feel the urge to eat dining facility food.

Speaking of dining facility, all the contracted female cooks at our facility got shipped to another facility. Words has it that our commanding officer thought that the female cooks are just walking temptations for the male soldiers, so they got shipped out...interesting. We now have a all-Phillappino male staff at the dining facility.

I am trying to get the sleeping routine right again, this morning, around 5 am, I woke up to the sounds of Isalamic prayer broadcasted via loudspeaker (very common in this neck of the woods, as well as the rest of Iraq, where loudspeakers are available), and couldn't go back to sleep for a while. I had forgotten about that, I guess I'll just have to get used to it and then tune it out all over again, that and the noises of jets flying all over the place, I guess it's to scare off the insurgents, I heard that they don't like loud jets.

I ran into this friend of mine from our linguist group (possibly my only female freind in that group), and she told me how she just doesn't feel the same about her marriage anymore. I was a kind of surprised to hear that but not overtly, because this time is a time of change for a lot of people. I think I've also changed in the way that I know that the b.s. and the personality differences are predictable and I am accepting it. I know that doesn't sound much from stuff like straying from spouses or the like, but I was really, really angry when I first got here...I'll talk about that part later.

I've got to go and look busy now, will write more later!

Back in Iraq

Hi again everyone! Nerdstar here and I just wanted to report that I am back in Iraq now, all jet-lagged but in one piece.

It was a series of long flights that took me back, but not long enough to keep me away from Iraq, sadly. I flew from Austin, to Atlanta, then Amsterdam and finally to Kuwait. I had a layover in Amsterdam for like 8 hours and despite some hesitation of my fellow travellers to go out and see historical downtown, I just went ahead and took the train down there. I must take Beth back there with me, the atmosphere there is so free and liberated, nothing is taboo over there, it seems. I took walks and took pictures of some of the buildings, got some postcards, and no, I did not get any hallucingenics, I mean, isn't this tour in Iraq hallucinating enough?

I miss Beth and the pets so much already, but even though there are still 8 more months that I'll have in Iraq, at least I can began to see the end of it. I am going to, once again, be a very grateful person when I get back stateside! I hope that, if there's one thing that I wanted for my birthday, is that we'll all come back safe and sound, because if we don't, then how are we able to tell our superiors to piss off when it's time to reenlist? (Not to put down anyone else who just loves the military lifestyle and wanted more of it!)

I will began, when I get back to my camp, to write more about the stuff that goes on there so you guys and gals can began to get a sense of things. I know that there are already many other blogs by the soldiers, but stick around and perhaps you'll find something different in this one!

Take good care, everyone!

Toughts at the end of my leave

Hi, it's nerdstar again, and I am near the end of my leave. I wish that it was for a longer time, or better yet, the end of this deployment. Just came back from visiting my family, and there wasn't enough time spent with both Beth and them. I don't know how exactly to reconcile the problems between me, my family, and her, I'll have the remaining time in Iraq to think about it, how do you even began to campaign for people to accept each other?
I am going to miss everyone a lot, especially Beth and the kids. (I've been petting them as much as I could.) I am going to keep on trying to stay safe, wake up my mind and body a little more, and wait for the time that I can finally go back home for good again!
I will be updating what's going on via this blog, hope y'all come and visit again soon!

Loving all things funny and sometimes stupid

Hi again! I just wanted to say this week has been great in my exposure to bad movies and shows on cable tv ("Joe's Apt.", "E-True Hollywood Story","Crank Yankers", just a few examples.), and I also got a few DVD with titles such as "Good Times-the first season", and a few Spongebob Squarepants DVDs. I also have been flooding Beth with lots of non-sequiturs, even though I know that as we prepare to goto our perspective families, there will be lots and lots of stress.
Humor is what is missing amongst the general body of soldiers in Iraq. I think it's one of the most important components of survival, whether or not you are a deployed soldier. Over where I am at, there are so much dramas and rumors about and between people, the frustration is more poignant when you add on the ban on sex, drinking, and the most important of all, free speech. (Some people say that the ban on sex is the worst of all, but I think some viewings of badly produced porn may just be the cure for that, but that's just what I think.)
I think it'll be interesting to see what becomes of this ban on everything, I, for one, will go back prepared. I have prepared a whole collection of funny movies and books to keep me connected to all things funny and sometimes stupid. Having Beth with me also relaxes me, and reminds me that what's out there is simply a badly constructed social experiment,and that there will be a end to it.

It's good to be back!

Hi everyone! Almost fresh off of the plane from New York! After so many change of planes I am finally back on good ole US soil! It is so nice to finally take a shower, eat pizza, pet the pets, and you know...snack!! :-) It has been really cold from my stop in Athens and on, like this global freeze sort of thing!
I plan to take it easy for a few days, just concentrating on the Mrs. and the kids, and then deal with my genetic family, I look forward to seeing everyone! Not to mention some of the shopping that I will do for my fellow troopers (There's really not that many).
By the way, did I tell you how good it is not to be in my grungy, making everyone look sexless uniform?
Thanks for all the support, online or otherwise, so far! I am not going to think about my return to Iraq for as long as I can....all I can say is that how about we send Bush/Cheney back to Iraq instead of me? I'd like to see how long they'd last!
Ramen is giving me that "I need attention" stare, I must tend to him now! Later!

YIKES! Nerdstar Update

I am at the airfield now, thankfully, there is a internet cafe across the street. While we are holding for the plane to take us to Kuwait, we'll be staying in the lovely tent!

I am not suprised that there was a long wait for phones in Kuwait, but hopefully, I will be in luck when I get there.

Last night, a mortar round exploded about 30 feet in front of me, I was standing with my 1st. sgt., and it was loud! I sort of froze there and then collected whatever senses that I had and ran to get my combat gear on. For as many times as they have been trying to shoot us, I am glad that most of them shoot terribly!

I can't wait to get back to you too! I was telling my roomate, "guess what? I am going to have some sex"! throughout the evening.

Woohoo

If I have to be woken up by the phone ringing, it sure is nice to have the voice on the other end be Nerdstar!! What a nice surprise! She says she can now tell the difference in what an incoming IED (improvised explosive device) and RPG (rocket propelled grenade) sounds like. Great. Fortunately the guys firing them are lousy at it. Her poor roommate is just nice enough and good looking enough that she constantly has guys hitting on her. When it's probably about a 400 or 500 to 1 ratio of men to women I can only imagine. Still no word on when she might get her two weeks leave. She's been lucky so far in not betting sick. There was a stomach virus going around and her roommate got the flu. Sounds like she's hanging in there.

Small Sample

It's hard to explain just how much Nerdstar's life is all about food, or how random our conversations can be. This is just a small sample of our IM in the wee hours of the morning:

bethlyn327: i'm so ready for you to be home
cinchsack: I am ready to be home!
bethlyn327: so we can travel around
bethlyn327: Vegas, NYC
cinchsack: yes
bethlyn327: and anywhere else you want
cinchsack: cake town
cinchsack: cheese city
bethlyn327: nerd
cinchsack: heheheh
cinchsack: that would be so nice!
cinchsack: ice cream mountain
cinchsack: pizzaville
bethlyn327: i'm so glad you fantasize about food and not other women!
cinchsack: you should know that by now
cinchsack: you and food
cinchsack: food and you are on the top of my list
cinchsack: of course, you are on the very top
bethlyn327: it'll be a month of nonstop food and sex when you get back
cinchsack: that's right!

Nerdstar Update

It's raining here too, it's the rainy season in Mosul, I don't know about the rest of Iraq. I don't have a job/job yet, and neither does my "brother", but it really doesn't bother me too much. I go on mail convoys every other day and I guess when things are up and running, they'll make me one of the mail clerks.

My convoy rides have been pretty safe so far, the most "hostile" thing that has ever happened to me so far was this little boy sticking his tongue out at us, we all laughed. Most of the kids and some of the adults in the city just waved at us or gave us thumbs-up signs.

Brown and Root contracts the food and the living facilities here, and the food is a lot better. They live slightly better than we do, and have access to civlilian vehicles, plus they get paid a lot more, and their rules are not as strict, but there's got to be a reason why a lot of them were ex-military... the lower level workers can get jerked around a lot.

I miss you, and it seems like now the realization that there has been no sex (at least for me), and other kinds of intimate contacts are sinking in, for some it's more diffucult than others. :-(

I will write more to you soon, I get to use the net at about, so far, every other day... I will hopefully in time get into a routine about stuff, and use the net more often... now if I can just find the phone so I can call you!

Sigh of Relief

I wasn't expecting to hear from Nerdstar for at least several more days, so getting an email from her this morning really brightens my day. Here are some excerpts about what's she's up to now:

I've just arrived at Mosul yesterday, they put us up in small trailers, I am rooming with a very quiet girl from the psychological operations group, they do the pamphlets and other media stuff to get people to like us.

I don't know where I'll be working at yet, but not too worried right now, I just got here, no need to hurry on anything.

I am just trying to find out where everything is around here, I am sitting in one of Saddam's palace, we are in a complex with high walls and at least 3 palaces, of course, they've converted the biggest palace for operations planning and the rest of the palaces have been bombed out and needs repair, but they are still standing.

Internet here costs $2.00 a hour, not too bad.

I live next to one of the translators, a very nice guy, he treated us to Iraqi styled lunches,tea, even got me a pure wool blanket so I wouldn't get cold... don't worry, I paid him for it, it was only like $10.00. The color was pretty tacky but at least it works like a charm!

Troops Moving

Whenever I manage to drag myself out from under my cozy down comforter, I turn the tv to CNBC to get a feel for how the market is doing and if I might be making a few bucks on my stocks, then I switch to Fox News to make sure my life and world aren't in immediate danger.

I caught a decent story about the huge troop movement going on over in Iraq. They're going to bring home close to 100,000 soldiers who have been there way over a year. From what I know, Nerdstar's people are replacing the 101st near Mosul. On the bulletin boards on StrykerNews I've read that some of the advance people are already there. The guy on Fox News was saying that there is going to be some overlap of personnel in locations and that's a good thing so the new guys can talk to the old guys about how it all works in that locations. Makes sense to me. My guess is that Nerdstar is part of the people bringing up the rear and while they have to move to the new location, there still won't be room for them for a while.

I think I feel a little less worried about this move with so many soldiers moving around. It makes my Nerdstar's truck less of an obvious target.

In reading those bulletin boards I've also learned that Nerdstar and I have been damn lucky to be able to email as much as we have. A lot of families haven't heard from their soldier since they left Kuwait several weeks ago.

Word is, there will be a lot more internet and phone access, not to mention hot showers finally, once they get settled into the new camp.

I'm worried, until she's actually in my sight I'll worry, but I'm not panicked.

Nerdstar Update

The trouble also is, now when I write letters, I can't even send them because they took the mailbox away, and tore down the mail sorting tent! We don't even know when we are going up to Mosul!

DVD player is in storage until I get to Mosul, where we are more settled, I am using the DVD player from the folks that I work for to watch DVD's.

I am making friends and making conversations, mostly from the supply section people that I have worked with. Random people at the tent that I live in, and there is an Iraqi translator who used to be an admiral in the Iraqi coast guard who has been the nicest person so far, he loaned me his wool blanket before I got the poncho liner because I was feeling cold, too bad that I've got to go back to my company tent to hang out with him because he sleeps in the same tent with my useless leadership. I will try to take some pictures and write more in a letter or two.

I haven't done much in the last few days, today the PX truck came from another camp, and after hours of waiting, I finally got into that little PX trailer, I had only 3 minutes to shop. I got 3 tins of Vienna sausage, and two tins of Chef Boyardee spaghetti.

Cold and shot at Nerdstar

Having a good time with the little monkey? I just changed into a pair of ski socks that I got at REI before I left, man, this cold just seeps thru all the corners of the body! I've got cotton, polypro layers, plus my uniform, a friend's polypro jacket (we as reservists, never even got issued those), this big, black jacket that looks more like the stuff that people wear when they climb Mt. Everest or somewhere like that.

We got attacked at the base, the Iraqis fired AK-47's and mortar rounds at us, the location was like 200 yards from my evening work tent. I guess we've suppressed their fire, according to the radio transmissions that I've heard.

Right now, most people are in their combat gears, in case if anything else happens... the attack was about 2 hours ago. I heard that they roused everyone who was asleep up to run into the bunkers that were dug... man, that must suck!

Don't worry, nerdstar is alright, I was chewing on a piece of turkey jerky stick when I ran out of our tent... there were people who were like, "hey, don't smoke"! I was like, "it's a piece of jerkey stick that I'm chewing on"! hhahahahhaaahahaha! I know, it wasn't all that funny, but I tried.

That's My Girl

I finally got a phone call from Nerdstar right about 1 am, the Air Force guys she's working with let them use their satellite phone. I guess I'm not worrying too much because my first thought wasn't about the call being bad news, it was "oh yeah! My girl is calling." She's also getting more internet time and I got this in an email from her:

"I will probably be able to do more e-mailing than phoning, I don't really think they are going to set up the phone service anytime soon, but there is internet connection in the supply room, and I've volunteered to work overnight so I could have more net access.

Don't worry, I don't think I'll ever be in a stryker again, I made my lack of liking for that vehicle fairly clear to my chain of command. Let the infantrymen have their vehicles and let me have my 5 ton truck, at least I can see where I am going!

Thanks for making the REI trip for me! It really would come in handy when the really cold weather strikes! Can I ask you for another favor? Goto starbucks and get a few bags of coffee (3-4 bags, pre grounded)one type of each blend. Why coffee you ask? Well, I found out that it's a way to get to the air force's good side, so that there can be more chances for me to use their phone, and watch their DVD's. (This sgt. has a extensive collection of Southpark DVD's!) No big hurry on that though."

That's my girl - wheeling and dealing and bribing people! I'm laughing, you have no idea how that's not the image people who know her have of her. She always comes across as nice and quiet. Me, I'm not too surprised, just impressed! And yes, I'll be making a trip to Starbucks pretty soon.

Another Nerdstar Update

This pretty much sums it up about what we are doing, 4th. Infantry Div. (4th. ID) is in charge of us.

I went on a recon mission on a stryker, they were using me to do body searches on females detainees... well, we didn't have any that day, but I did get to ride in a stryker for about 12 hours, and let me tell you, it's a bad idea if you are even slightly closterphobic! I was stuffed inside the vehicle with 11 men, and I don't like not being able to see where I am going! Thank God that's over!

Nerdstar Update

I just want to tell you that I am safe so far, living is still a kind of miserable, but I am getting used to it slowly.

I don't know if I am losing weight, but my clothes are looser fitting, and I guess I will let you be the judge of that! But I am still eating like a pig because of the coolness of the climate and the physical stuff that we go thru at times.

I am glad that they've got Saddam, but I don't know if it will change our times for being here, I am hoping that it'll be a shorter stay in Iraq also!

I rode in the stryker for 12 hours yesterday! It was one of the most cramped, and clusterphobic experiences in my life! I can't write too much more about it here, the line is not secure.

(I edited out the personal mushy stuff, don't want you to think there wasn't any.)

Stryker Brigade Update

Update by the embeded reporter.

I still haven't heard from Nerdstar, other than that four sentence email, so I don't have any idea really what her every day activities are. I don't assume she's out on any of these patrols or anything, being a supply clerk. But I know they had her driving a big truck and she's certified to drive the hummers. I'll feel much better once I hear from her.

One Down

My poor Nerdstar has been overseas for a month now. One down, probably eleven more to go. We knew she wouldn't be able to call or email much once they got to the new camp. Apparently, that's more true than I would like. I hadn't heard from her at all for a week. This morning I just got a short email saying she's safe and adjusting. It sucks unbelievably to not be able to talk to her, to hear her voice and get a better idea of how she's doing, to not share to even a small extent the shit she's going thru.

This is when I wish I had much better writing skills. That I could come even close to accurately describing how hard this is. How long the days and nights are. How the levels of worry and fear and dread fluxuate but never go away. To only be able to imagine how hard all of this is for her, and to be so far away and unable to help her get thru it at all. Yes, I email her every day, and send letters and stuff, but it seems so feeble. She's far from home, with nothing familiar around, worried about her grandparents, about me, the pets, her safety. I might be lonely, but I have our home, pets, family. I'm sure she worries about life moving on without her. It takes an extraordinary amount of trust to get thru a year like this.

I got one of her pay stubs in the mail today - extra pay for "hostile fire." Yeah, that makes me feel better. I'll say it again and again, this just sucks.

Stryker Brigade update

The embeded reporter from Tacoma had this story in the paper today. The Brigade made it's way to this camp in stages. Nerdstar and company are pulling up the rear, so they're on their way there over the next few days. She said she's not even sure how long they'll be in this location before having to move again. A couple of weeks ago she managed to obtain a small, thin matress and to find a place for it in the truck she's driving. If the cots don't arrive before she does, she said she can always sleep in the back of the truck. NONE of this sounds fun to me!! She also wasn't sure when she'd get a chance to shower again, check email again, or call again. Laundry has been a constant problem.

I miss my girl a lot. I try not to worry as much as I miss.

Nerdstar Update

We are going to depart Kuwait on Sunday, it'll be a 3 day journey, first two days are not expected to be dangerous, but the third day will be. The people who have gone up there so far had not reported any ambushes.

Do you remember the girl who got raped? Well, we had a Lt.Col. come to talk to us last night, he said that the investigator said that there was no rape and that the girl might have made up or staged the whole thing. I don't know that girl personally, but a lot of the people who knew her swore that she was telling the truth, so someone is trying to cover up stuff. I thought that it was not fair for someone like that to make any comments about the investigation while it's still going on. I don't think a lot of the females feel safe amongst 3rd. brigade. I am just so sick of this army game, you know?

Nerdstar Update

They hadn't caught the rapist yet, apparently, he not only raped her but also beat her up pretty badly. Go to www.tribnet.com, that imbeded reporter has a story on it. I am about to go and read it myself.

I think we'll be driving up into Iraq before the week is over, if you had not heard from me for more than 3 days, chances are good that I am on the road now. It'll take us driving 3 days, at 12 hours a stretch, to get up to where we are going. I will be driving a 5 ton truck with our high-maintenanced xo as my passenger, and I will try to suppress my urge to punch him in the face when this is all over, he's so anal retentive it hurts!

Nerdstar mentioned the rape to me in an email a few days ago. The news story linked above is a good one. The reporter is from Tacoma and is embedded with the unit.

I cannot imagine how pissed I'd be if that happened to me while I was on active duty. Nerdstar said she hope the girl gets to go home. I don't know if she will or not. Maybe after the investigation.

That story, and this new story by the same reporter do absolutely nothing to make me worry any less.

Nerdstar's Thanksgiving

We were supposed to go to the weapons range, got up at like, 4 in the morning, got in our vehicle and parked it in a convoy formation, then, 6 am came and they told us to go to the chow hall to eat a quick breakfast, and when we came back, we were told that there's a halt to the movement because someone's weapon got stolen or have lost it. So we had to stay in our vehicle or around it, I drove a big ole 18 wheeler like vehicle (it actually has 8 wheels), because my
"brother" lost his license. I've been getting a lot more driving time in that vehicle, I think I should be able to drive that on the convoy, but no.

So I took a nap, listened to some radio, laughed at stupid jokes for a bit.

We then were sent to lunch, and at lunch, they had beef, turkey, and ham! Also fake champagne, apple pies with whipped cream , shrimp cocktail, and mashed potatoes! Not bad, but home is still better though!

Supposedly Miss America came here during lunch time, but no one saw her, I bet she got off the plane and said "oh fuck this place!" and took the next flight back home! :-)

It has been really hot today, and I was hallucinating a bit, for some reasons, I thought about Zachary a lot.

They kept up in our vehicles til' 2 in the afternoon, then they had a stupid formation where someone said that there were also over $10,000 worth of merchandises stolen from our tiny ass px, so they sent us all to our tents and searched thru. all of our bags, I heard that they didn't find anything. Typical army.

Maybe we'll have to do what we should have done today tomorrow, but as of
right now, I haven't heard anything yet.

Ended the day, at the last minute, filling our sandbags again.

Scary

I got a call from Nerdstar this morning. Her morale is still pretty low, but she's hanging in there. As every other soldier over there has commented on, she's stunned by the sand and dust.

She's with this Stryker Brigade. Info like this and other info she's given me in the past few days is why I'm so worried for her. They sent 300 of these vehicles over there and I'm sure that they'll be in the news a lot during December once they start moving and heading toward their mission.

Nerdstar Update

Excerpts from emails she's sent me:

It seems like it'll be tent living for us for at least the next 6 months, the so called “mission” has changed. No living in the trailer park environment like they've first advertized, and shower may not be readily available once we leave Kuwait.

Man, it sucks here, all of us are coming down with some sort of respiratory ailment, I heard that this guy has already came down with pneumonia! But at least we are safe so far.

Our acting first sgt. is trying to get neck gators for us so we don't breathe in more sand than we needed to... we'll see what happens to that. They issued more of that stuff to the people on active duty than the reservists, even though we are pretty much doing the same damn things... speaking of army of one... I think that it's all bullshit.

I don't think the morale is high here, we all miss home and all the people and comforts.

For now I am still stuck with the headquarters team, without a job really. The acting 1st. sgt. is in the same boat as I am. Right now what's keeping me busy is maintaining the vehicles that we've got.

I heard that our mission will now be more of a offensive mission, and we'll probably be living in tents for the rest of the year because they wanted us to be "more mobile".... they can bite my ass!

I am feeling sad too for not being with you and the kids. Just hoping that the year will go by fast, or maybe in 6 months they'll not need us anymore... not that they need us now.

1st Saturday

I got a call from Nerdstar at 5:30 this morning. She's already in Kuwait. That just seems so weird to me. I'm sure it's even more strange for her - going from the overly green Seattle area to the completely brown desert of Kuwait. I spent about two and a half hours this morning getting a little package ready to send to her and mailing it out.

Other than that it just seems very surreal. I support this war. I think the people of Iraq deserve every chance at freedom. Nerdstar having to be over there doesn't change any of that. I've kept up with what's going on over there, and I still will. I'm optimistic that another year of our troops being over there will see changes we can't quite bring ourselves to hope for yet.

When Nerdstar was on active duty at Ft. Lewis it seemed more like a job than real military service for both of us. Now it's real. And I'm proud of her.

Weekend Update

I achieved my biggest goal this weekend - sleeping a lot! It's been a long time since I've felt caught up on sleep. Mother Nature was very helpful for a change and provided the perfect sleeping weather - cold and cloudy and rainy.

But the real highlight of my weekend was picking up the first of a seven dvd series called Noir. DenBeste wrote up a couple of reviews of it much better than I ever could, fortunately I read the nonspoiler one! My local Best Buy had at least six of the seven dvds. It's hard not to go pick them all up today. I'm even tempted to pick up the soundtrack in spite of it being all in Japanese.

I've thought more about the job stuff and have decided to continue to slowly look for another job. Beth has been gracious enough to help me rework my resume. I just figure, why stay at a job that I'm not really that happy with, and now will be under scrutiny to do better at. My manager is writing up a "personal improvement plan" which just makes me feel too much like a juvenile deliquent.

My poor Nerdstar is having all kinds of trouble the last few days. The run around with her and a couple of other people's reassignment paperwork is coming to a boil. Now she's having increasing trouble with someone of higher rank spreading rumors about her being gay. It's getting ugly, as it always does when it comes down to one person's word against another. Nerdstar at one point a long time ago trusted this person, and this person has turned out to be fairly mentally unstable.

It sucks because I can't be there to help her thru all this.

Fortunately, I'm at least feeling more calm this weekend. Today it's just going ot get some lunch, grocery shopping, and more being a slug.

Update

It’s been good being up here this week, no work stress for me, hanging out with my girl when she’s not at work. The weather has been great, too. Only about twenty minutes of rain last night, other than that it’s been cool and sunny, perfect. I think it’s also made me aware that I really like living in Austin for now. Yes, the summers are hell, but it’s a great city. The best reason for staying in Austin though, is the restaurants. Yep, Nerdstar’s finally rubbed off on me enough that good food is a good reason to live in a particular city.

Well, the latest word on deployment for Nerdstar’s unit is that they fly out at 1 am on November 13th. Unfortunately, she still has no word at all on her paperwork to be reassigned back to Austin instead. But, they have been given a four day weekend. So, we decided to change my flight to tomorrow AND book her on that return fight to Austin and have her fly back here Monday afternoon. Crazy! I tend to worry about the house and pets when we’re not home, and this is the longest we’ve left them. So instead of just extending my time here, since we got a reasonably priced flight for her, we decided that if it’s possible for her to spend some time at home – what the hell. Thank God we’ve got money in the bank to do all of this.

Go with the flow. It’s hard to do sometimes; you’d think practice would make it easier. Not really. I told Nerdstar my philosophy is hope for the best but plan for the worst. Sometimes it sucks, though, always having to be prepared for the worst to happen, it takes a lot of mental energy. I just refuse to end up regretting not doing things later.

hello again

Hi, this is nerdstar, and I just want y'all to know that I will be blogging tomorrow about the absurdity of our situation. I would blog now, except the librarian is kicking everyone out...it is getting a kind of late. Before I leave, I'd like to solicit some advice, prayers, and good wishes for us, because we are pretty much all going through the same emotional and spiritual toils right now...thanks!!!

Grandma and Ramen

For those of you who are wondering, if you are wondering about it, my grandma has been doing pretty well in the last two days, eating more and had more energy, thank you very much! She's going to the hospital to finish her rounds of tests and by next Monday, her doctor will read the results and give his opinions and suggestions for her treatment/non-treatment. By then, I don't think that we can hide the fact of her illness anymore. I think she'll be sad, but I know that she also knows that she could not possibly live forever. I hope that, nomatter what, we'll do our best to make her as happy as we can, and also to show her our appreciation of her with the time that remains.

Now, my dog Ramen has been staying at grandma's house for the last 3-4 days, and it's just amazing to see them interact with each other. Every morning, when she gets up, she makes a point of feeding Ramen toast, and at first, he'd eat it, but since toast is not meat, he had been refusing it. I'd get up and grandma would ask me, "why doesn't your dog eat"? Then I'll find out that she had been trying to feed him toast again. One of the reasons why Ramen remained with Beth was because we were afraid that Ramen would be a really overweight dog.

I have no idea whether or not Ramen was trained before we've adopted him, and what language he used to know. The reason why I stated this stemmed from this afternoon, grandma told Ramen to look for grandpa, Ramen looked at her and then proceeded to run towards grandpa! She had spoken to him entirely in Chinese!

He'd also nap next to her bed, and would not get up until she does. In some ways, they are a lot alike in personalities. Most of all, I think he really helps her not to think about her pain so much.

He is also teaching me so much about what it really means to be a faithful friend, to which I've so far found no parallel.

Now, would a palm pilot do all that? (see the first "Life with pets" entry)

back home

Hello again, nerdstar here. I am finally at my folks' home and up late with a can of root beer, the trusty dog, and the laptop. Everyone is finally asleep now, so there is sufficient peace and quiet to write about some things.
I saw my sister and her new husband since they got married about a month ago. I really wished that we could have been there, from the photos I could tell that it was a good wedding, and I wish them many happy years together!
Another milestone, Beth finally got to meet my sister, and it went without a hitch, to my relief. (see prev. entry by Beth) I was a bit worried but not really, I figured that they were going to really hate each other, or not, and so far, I don't think that they do.
My body has just about shut down after my plane landed near home. I don't have to think about the f*ckheads that I've left behind, no more loud music coming from down the hallway, no elephantfeet thumping upstairs, and no leaders who are just using their troops to advance themselves. I've slept a lot.
Beth was here with me for most of the weekend, she took Ramen here and I think that my folks were happy to see him, he's such a gentle dog, just perfect with older folks and young children, I think that he has a great potential for as a therapy dog! (If I only had the time and the $ to train and certify him!)
It was really good to see her, and I am looking forward to spending some more time with her later this week!
My grandma is still a kind of weak physically, but she was happy to see everyone, and had even managed to eat a bit more than usual! (She, due to her stomach cancer, had gotten to the point to which she was mainly drinking ensure, soup, and milk to get her nutrition.) I am praying that, against all the odds, that there may still be ways of treating her disease.
I will go into the hospital with her as she is scheduled to get her last two tests before the doctors report their findings the following Monday, I have heard that her doctor is the world's most famous in the field of stomach cancer, and if I can, I will ask him some questions and try to understand it in my limited medical knowledge.
On that note, I will goto bed, and a goodnight to everyone!

subsistence

Hello again everyone! Nerdstar again, with further tales of my deployment. Since I am all about the food, I will rant about the kind of stuff they've been serving here on post. I will take perhaps a digital pic or two later on to be included on this site for your viewing pleasure!
Imagine that you are back in school, and I am not talking about college, but grade school. Do you remember the kind of plastic plates that had little compartments on them? That is what they use to serve the thousands of us who passes thru. this post.
Now, imagine your canned veggies, swimming in butter, government grade, your soup exploding with saltiness, re-constituted eggs, then you have a pretty good idea what army food is like. I say army food, because there are differences between army, navy, and air force food. (the air force have the best, by the way.)
I am more used to it now, the starchiness and the grease used to send me, and others like it, straight to the bathroom, but by now, I've more or less developed a "iron stomach", so I can pretty much digest brillo pads without any problems!
Not that I am trying to put all the wonderful army cooks (or its contractors) down, but it's just that when you cook for thousands of people, you just can't concentrate on specific fat contents, fine flavors, or the presentation too much. Every once in a while, alright, every weekend, I'd find myself craving for other things.
Since I've been at Ft. Lewis, when I do go out to eat, I have eaten mostly non-American foods, mostly Mediterranean, followed by Indian, then followed by Vietnamese noodle soups,sushis,and last but not least, pseudo-Thai dishes. Now, being Chinese, my favorite cuisine have been and will always be Chinese, so why haven't I eaten much of any Chinese food? (Okay, I did go do dim-sum twice in Seattle.) Well, I just don't think that Chinese food here is "all that", unless you are really into one of those "wok and roll" places that sells some of the most greasy Chinese fares for about a buck. (I might not be rich, but I am not yet THAT poor.)
Eating kind of loses meaning if you don't have loved ones around you, adding more "bleh" to the whole experience. When Beth said that she hated eating alone, I understand exactly what she meant. I don't know which is better though, eating alone, and trying to rush so you'll finish your stuff faster, or eating with a bunch of people, not a lot of who you like or admire very much.
And yes, it's true, Starbucks are everywhere like they've dominated the world. While I am proud to say that I haven't yet became an addict, I do have to say that the occasional tiredness and the often boredom of the day prompted me to get a cup or two of "cafe Veronas"! (4 packs of sugar, 1/5 half and half or 2% milk, well blended.)
Since my body is the type that gets used to stuff really fast, even with more exercise, I am sorry to report that I have neither lost or gained any weight. Which is okay, my supermodel dreams have already came and gone.
On a final note of the day, I got bronchitis for some odd reason, could be a side effect of the flu shot that they gave me late last week, or just my body's way of dealing with things.
So I will go for now, because I got to wake up at 5:30 AM, even though the first formation is at 7 AM, you've got to get into the shower, get that monkeysuit that we called uniform on, and grab a bite of that starchy dinining hall food! MMMMMMMM!

My deployment stories

Hello everyone! This is Nerdstar, and I have been at Ft. Lewis, Wa., since early May, and I am still here, waiting on that seemingly illusive piece of paper that will either dictate me going over to Iraq, or bringing my butt back home to Texas.
Beth has been strongly urging me to write my experiences down for y'all, she said that it will be a good way to vent some of my frustrations, so here it goes....
I will try to place the characters and the events in some sort of order, but I will not follow a strict chronological sequence, so please bear with me!
Just some background, I am a supply sgt. for this military intelligence company, belonging in the army reserves, what made this particular deployment "special", was the fact that just about all the members of this company came from other parts of the country, and not all of them have jobs in the military intelligence fields. They are, in essence, the last group of Arabic linguists in the reserve system, and how did the government find them? Well, all of them, at one time in the past or another, had been taught Arabic courses and even if they were only taught that for a week, it got on their permanent record.
Needless to say, most were really surprised to be called up to serve active duty, some of them had left the service behind and were enjoying some really good jobs out there in "the real world".
Well, they came because of 1. possible career advancement. 2. they had to do it, or get reprimanded (some actually want to do the 20 years and retire.)3.needed the $ and have no other job/career prospects.
My reason for volunteering myself on this mission was a mixture of reason #1 and reason #3. While I don't plan on retiring in the reserves, I wanted to see if I could find some military work in the Chinese language field.
I had originally volunteered myself back in Jan., but their company commander (who is now my commander) said that they already had someone, so no thanks. I didn't take it personally and went about my life.
Then, 4 months later, I got a call from my 1st. Sgt. (he is the highest grade person, enlisted, in a company.), asking me to pack up my stuff, because they wanted me to goto Iraq as a supply person.
I only had 4 days to prepare for this, and I was not qualified in the unit supply field ( I was a warehouse supply clerk back in my "GI Jane" days.), but they didn't seem to care, so off to Ft. Lewis I went.
When/if there is more time, I will tell you, more in depth, about the people on this really, really, long trip, so stay tuned!

Hot as hell!

Hi everyone!
This is Nerdstar, coming at you from hot and sunny Austin, Tx., where I am currently on a 4 day pass from my military duties. I arrived late on Friday night and Beth was right, I should have flown Southwest, but no...I was trying to save some dough! It is so nice to be with the pets, all of whom, because of the intense Texas heat, are in some sort of a heat-induced stupor, sleeping a lot. I don't blame them, in fact, I had been sleeping a lot as well. We went to eat at Saltgrass steakhouse, Co Co's (this Taiwanese eatery), and tonight we are going to launch our attack at Rudy's bbq, you see, people in the Northwest don't really appreciate things like that.
I wished that we could have gone to some places and done some things, but the weather is hot, and the summer movie selections are less than exciting, or even watchable at best, so we just stayed in our little duplex most of the time. I know that Beth tried to keep the place clean, but I think that it's about time that we call a molly maid or something!!
I am leaving early tomorrow morning and I wish that I could take her and the pets with me, part of me thought about what would happen if I just decided not to get on the plane!
Yet, getting deployed has been giving us steady pay and some possibilities for a sort of career so I guess I must stick it out. I wish I didn't have to make a living fighting, but when the economy has been the way it is, drastic times requires drastic measures.
Oh, by the way, I also should mention that you can't get fish tacos in Seattle, my welcome home meal was held at Magnolia's, very nice! Also, we trekked to Amy's ice cream on her bike and I had myself a big cup of peanut butter banana ice cream,it was nice!
I'll start exercising next week......