Beth's Contradictory Brain

The Latest

Here's the latest...

I am at Kuwait now, at Camp Doha, where central command used to be. They put us up in a big warehouse full of bunk beds and it's unisex.

My main task today is do a 2 hour weapons guard, eat some fast food, read, and try to keep lines of communications open with you so you'll know what's
going on when I do.

5 p.m. her time is about 8 a.m my time. Fortunately, it doesn't matter what time I start driving tomorrow - and hopefully it'll still be tomorrow. If not, well, not much I can do about it other than be flexable.

At least she's where it's safe, but I can't imagine having to spend a week sleeping in a big warehouse full of other people!

Nerdstar Update

This is the email I got from her this morning:

I am at the airfield now, and they are trying to, as space becomes available, get us on the c-130 flights to Kuwait city, the first flight will leave around noon but I probably won't be on it. Hopefully, I'll be able to get on a flight before the day is over.

I will give you more updates as events warrant.

As for me, I'm off to get Ramen all cleaned up and to do laundry. I haven't been able to shake all the worries and get excited yet. I'll breathe easier once she's in Kuwait. I'll have four days on the road to daydream about finally seeing her again!

Nerdstar Update

Yes, there was a significant change in the countdown days until Nerdstar comes home. It's still a very approximate number, but at least it's getting smaller!

A few weeks ago Nerdstar told me they were talking about a mid September date for her little unit to leave Iraq. The biggest questions regard their replacements, I don't think the answers to those questions are totally answered yet, so you never know how the picture will change.

Mostly I've been too afraid to even say "September" out loud for fear of jinxing it. Then I got this message from her this morning:

(Yep, I finally had to edit the official word out... I figured I would. No big deal. You get the jist of what it said.)

So, yes, it's looking good. Keep your fingers crossed and prayers said!

My worry levels, however, will remain rather elevated until she's actually in my line of sight. As I've written about before, there are just too many instances of bad things happening to soldiers in the weeks before their homecoming. Her little base is still getting a few mortar attacks most days.

Yikes!

These next few days may be a bit tense, 4 mortar attack on this FOB, and one of them hit where I was drying my clothes, so I lost all these pt shirts and undies, most of them got shrapnelled beyond recognition, but they're just army issued clothes that I don't have to return, I've got plenty more, but the undies? Well, I am doing more undies shopping when I get back anyways! I am going to mail one of these shirts back home, I think my clothes should get a
purple heart! So needless to say, I got lucky again.

on autopilot in Iraq

Hello everyone! It's nerdstar again, almost at the end of "the mission" and cannot wait to come back home! I've been away since last May and even though time has a way of passing by rather fast, still each day just have this tendency to stretch.
All of us are on some sort of autopilot mode now, now that our jobs have been more defined, you are either pulling tower guard duty until the end of time, or you have one of those jobs where you sit in a hardtop building, somehow trying to make everything run smoothly. We've had our mortar attacks here and there, but it's really a kind of surreal when you are not "out there" seeing how things really are. Most of us have jobs that keep us on post and we cannot travel much to anywhere else, unless you get sick, needing to goto the field hospital, or getting supplies from another post.
I don't know if all deployments of war could be defined as the one that we have right now. Where the enemies could shoot at you but you cannot shoot back, where the biggest concern of the moment is the cat population on post, and the biggest gossip of the day is who is doing who. We've got combat stress specialists here, but if you are not infantry or on patrols, and did not see a lot of carnage, then I guess the "stress" just comes from being stuck here, doing the same thing from day in and day out, eating the same food, and watching people make big issues out of small things just because they can.
I try to cope with this repetitiveness by simply making fun of everything, even if it doesn't seem funny to other people, thinking about the trip back home, Vegas, Captain and Tenille, my pets, home and everyone in it, and taking lots of photos, some terrible, but some fun (not a professional photographer here!)
Sometimes, I'd think that I was a minor character in "Lord of the Flies", and other times, I felt like I was back in high school, with all the dramas between people (I have to say that I was a part of that too at one time.), except you have to live with the people in that high school.
I miss being a hermit, that sort of was the kind of life that we've lead in Austin, just us and the pets. I also found out that, I am not as introverted as I thought that I once was, I actually like going out of the FOB on patrols, bumming for a seat on other peoples' missions, and just seeing what's out there.
Well, I've got to close this entry for now, there's now a line of people waiting to use the computers, but I will write more to y'all soon about life here. Take good care and dodge that mortar!

Nerdstar Update

I got this email from her this morning. Mostly I'm glad to see her sense of humor is still intact! (Well, of course I'm glad her body is still intact!)

We've been mortared left and right ever since mid-evening yesterday! I haven't heard of any deaths yet but there were some brown and root people who got injured. Report from the other FOB said that there were insurgents who were dressed up like ninjas shooting ak-47's, grenades and rockets at that FOB! I never thought that we'd be attacked by ninjas! Didn't even know they had ninjas in Iraq! We should have samurai warriors here instead of us!

There's this private whom, because he was kept out of his room due to lock problems, went off at the sgt. in charge of the mayor cell (like the facility managers of the FOB, who are nothing but a bunch of lazy asses anyways), that private got ordered to go to anger management classes and they are going to chapter him out of the army... he must have really went off at that sgt.

Looks like this is the same story in the news.

August 1

Yeah, it's the start of another new month, which means one is finished and I'm that much closer to having my Nerdstar home. We still don't know exactly when she'll be coming home. We have our fingers crossed and prayers said for sooner rather than later.

I keep trying to get her to write an update for here, but they keep having troubles with the servers over there. She got to go out on a patrol in one of the Mosul neighborhoods with the new psych. ops. unit stationed there. Mostly they were surrounded by all the kids. She said she took a lot of pictures, so eventually she'll mail them back here and I'll get them developed and on the fotopage. She's doing well for the most part. Fortunately things have been mostly quiet over there for her, although I always hate writing that for fear of jinxing it.

I've rounded the corner where I'm anticipating her being home more than I worry - so that's good but scary. Once we actually know a more definite timeframe, I'll bore you all to tears every day with all the minute details of getting ready for her to come home.

Back to Light and Furry

Nerdstar and I have had good luck and timing and have been able to IM the past three days for quite a while. Her and Zachary got to make faces at each other! Zach doesn't quite understand how a webcam works yet - he wanted to hold it and move it around and look at the video on the screen, he didn't get that the camera picked up the pictures to put on the screen. It was kinda like watching Blair Witch!

Today when Nerdstar logged on I asked how she was and she said, "Look." And without the benefit of tone of voice or anything, in the time between when I read "Look" and could actually see her on the screen, I was so afraid I'd be looking at a mangled Nerdstar. (Nope, no logic to it whatsoever, if she were truly mangled she wouldn't be online.)

What I did see when the picture came thru was her holding a tiny little orange tabby kitten. Can you say too cute for words! One of the other soldiers was trying to take care of the momma cat and she had the kittens in his trailer a couple of weeks ago. But when I asked about them the other day Nerdstar said his chain of command had made him get rid of them. Yes, that pissed her off, and no, it doesn't make any sense to me. On her way to the computer lab she heard this kitten crying very loudly from under one of the trailers, so she brought it along.

I'm not sure it's even possible to try to raise it if she can't find the momma cat. She's going to look and to try. I found her a good webpage about taking care of abandoned kittens, the problem is actually finding any of the stuff required over on her base. The other problem, if it manages to survive for the rest of her time over there, and doesn't run off, what to do with it when she leaves. I can only imagine how sad she'd be if something bad happened to it!

Anyway, it was lots of fun to see her and this tiny little kitten in a box on my computer screen!!

UPDATE: This is part of the email I got from Nerdstar this morning:

I am keeping a different cat now, still a kitten, but more grown than little man when we got him, it's a she and how I got to keep her was because one of the mail clerks rescued her from the helipad and she couldn't think of anyone else to keep her. I hope no one finds out!!!! I made a littler box of sand from the sandbags laying around the area, and we've already taken a nap together.

Today was so very hot, hotter than any other days that I've known, so I just tried to hole up in the air conditioned area (today's my day off), and just read and slept.

Nerdstar related news

Two topics Nerdstar and I talked about yesterday when she called were: are things going to get more violent over the next week or so, and is the Stryker Brigade now at Ft. Lewis going to replace them and when. Well, there are tons of links on the Stryker Brigade News website today about all of it.

Starting in October, more than 4,000 soldiers with the Army's second Stryker brigade will deploy to Iraq, where they will replace another unit from Fort Lewis, post officials announced Wednesday.

We were really hoping that replacement process would start a little sooner, if the replacements were starting to move over in September, there would be a better chance of Nerdstar coming home in late October. The process of moving one brigade in and the other out takes a long time. But, with luck I'll have her home by Thanksgiving, which is what I've kinda figured all along.

"I would surely hope that they get home before Christmas," Beninato said of soldiers in the 3rd Brigade. "But there's no guarantee." (added: That sentence pisses me off, if they'd get it together and start sending the replacements in say, August/September there would be a guarantee that not only would the Styrkers be home by Christmas, they might actually be home within a year of deployment. It's not like decent planning couldn't guarantee that, which has been my biggest complaint about military operations to date - poor planning and logistics.)

As for the violence going on in Iraq today, we talked about how the targets aren't primarily US soldiers and bases, it's Iraqis who are working toward establishing their own freedom. The only good thing about that for me is that at least Nerdstar is still relatively safe. She doesn't get to wander off of base too often, and probably not at all while things are "hot", and maybe if the bad guys are busy attacking other targets, they won't lob as many mortars into the base.

UPDATE: I got this short email from Nerdstar:

I am in my bosses' office because they are expecting some attacks overnight, the city has been under a curfew and some key places in the city has been attacked and they lost some Iraqis. When I walked down to this place, I saw strykers standing by, ready to be sent somewhere. I hope it'll be a quiet evening, I am so tired of these "warnings" and stuff. Just send us all home, for crying out loud. So if you didn't hear anything from me, it's because I am trapped here until further notice.

More on Nerdstar

Nerdstar called again this afternoon because she'll be out of touch for a couple of days. This is the email I got from her:

How are you doing today? It was great to hear your voice! I miss you and the kids very much, looks like I am about to fill up yet another journal again!

It doesn't feel as depressing/empty in the room the less time that I spend there, maybe in time, people will want to come in and chat. I think in general, I am glad that there are not as many people who'll have to put up with daily mortaring and this sweltering heat... I wish I was one of them though.

It's hitting 106, 108 every day over there. And it's more humid than I thought it was, so that's bad. To answer the questions in the comments from the last post - all we know about her brigade coming home is that they're the first to be rotated out in the fall. We hope that means October instead of November, but we won't have any idea of a timeline until their replacements start showing up.

On the phone today she kept trying to talk me into coming to see her over there now that she has her trailer to herself :-) I explained that even if I found her basecamp and made it there, the army guards wouldn't let me in. We joked that I'd just say I was there to see Nerdstar. It's a nice daydream. But trust me, if I thought there was any chance I could actually do it, I'd be booking the next flight to Iraq!

As for the "live porn" - she could write a year's worth of soap opera material based on her roommate's adventures in Iraq. I keep trying to get her to write about it on here, but her roommate knows this site exists, so she was waiting until she was gone. Nerdstar said it was weird not having anyone knock on the trailer door at all hours of the night last night. I'll just say there was more than one night Nerdstar had to sleep somewhere other than her trailer.

Good Timing

My Nerdstar has had fantastic timing lately. Last week I had just gotten out of the shower when the phone rang and it was her. Today, I just logged off the computer and was about to head out to get some lunch and run some errands and the phone rang, again, it was her. It's always so good to talk to her. Especially since I was feeling really down the other night. She always makes me smile and laugh.

Her life in Iraq just got a lot more calm - her floosy of a roommate is done with her time in Iraq. Nerdstar now has her little trailer all to herself. Now that there won't be live porn in her room, maybe she can get more sleep.

It's a tricky time emotionally. We're over halfway done with this longest year, but there's no set return date yet. We're both starting to daydream about her homecoming, but really it's too far away to start anticipating.

I'll be busy for the next couple of weeks, so that will help.

Mostly I hope that I'm not just wasting this year. It's hard not to play what-if over and over.

Nerdstar Update

I just took my pt test this morning and I passed! That's something that I'll never will have to think about again! Yay!

Yesterday, I was on a convoy all day long to get some armored door on our humvee, and it was so hot and dusty there, I felt like I was a piece of Monglian bbq!

The guy that I saw getting pulled out of his trailer has passed away last night in his sleep, one of the other guy has lost one of his eyes due to shrapnel wounds.

Today, I am just going to try to take it easy, the past few days has been quite taxing physically and mentally.

No words

Needless to say reading this email from Nerdstar makes me cry:

I wish that my life was unexciting today. 6 trailers got taken out by mortars, I was in the area and saw/heard everything. One of the guys who got injured got pulled out of his trailer, he was lifeless, and bled so much that you couldn't tell where he was bleeding from, the rest of the people in the trailer (this happened around 1 in the afternoon) got either burns or burns/shrapnel wounds, a few of them had to be airlifted to Baghdad, because the med. facilities here couldn't do much of anything for them.

Me and few other people pulled fire extinguishers out of other un-hit trailers and started spraying, but it was no use, the insulation materials of the trailers burned really fast and before you know it, everything was in flames.

There's this one sgt., who usually cuts my bangs, and her soldiers were the ones who got injured and when she found out, she was shaking and I kind of lost it too.... a few minutes later. I've never seen anyone so bloodied and screamed so loud in my life, and the people that got hit were really young too.

I was in one of the trailers that got destroyed just a few minutes earlier, I stepped out, figured I can use a few minutes to check my e-mail, and then it happened, two of the people who were still in that trailer got 2nd. degree burns.... I think someone wants me to live.

I miss you, and wish that I could just go home now, I wish that everyone could go home.

I will write more to you soon, hug yourself and the kids for me!

I have to admit I don't pray for Nerdstar very often. And lately the worry has been a little more below the surface. But, last night when I finally went to bed after not hearing from her all day, the worry level increased and I said the briefest of prayers. There's just no explaining the complete randomness of who gets hurt/killed and who doesn't - and that's what makes it so hard. Well, that and being completely unable to do a damn thing from here to make my girl any safer.

This is twice she's left a building less than thirty minutes before it was blown up. Hopefully she's like a cat and has nine lives!

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the soldiers involved.

Nerdstar Update

Fortunately we were in an IM when I got this email...

I went on a convoy with my commander and 1st. sgt., to check out a bunch of schools made of mud! They wanted to make sure that the locations of the schools were correct so when they make the proposal to give out $ and supplies, they'll know where exactly these schools are. I took some pictures, and these villages are the most primitive looking places that I've ever seen!

We might have to move to Baghdad in a few weeks, it seems like General Sanchez has a hair up his ass... he wants to reposition the troops. There is no official order yet, but everyone is saying that it's coming, and it'll hit us like a bat out of hell. There will be no trailers, so we'll be going back to the tent, and we'll be back to eating army foods, cooked by army cooks, there is currently no brown and root support where we might be going... (a bit south of Baghdad)

If that's true, then it's going to suck so bad. Our commander has already told us to start packing up... I will let you know if/when it becomes official.

I need to do laundry too, my clothes are so dusty, and I was dirty too from the convoy, the shower water turned brown when I was taking one!

Then this is part of our IM:

bethlyn327: ugh... just read your email
bethlyn327: that really sucks
cinchsack: yeah, now, after your convoy, I've got more really dirty clothes
cinchsack: yeah, isn't it?
bethlyn327: hopefully it's just a nasty rumor
bethlyn327: would they move the whole stryker brigade?
cinchsack: for a nasty rumor, it seems like everyone has already accepted that as facty
cinchsack: they said that the "warning order" was supposed to come down tonight
cinchsack: or earlier this afternnoon
cinchsack: yes, it'll suck big time
bethlyn327: just seems unnecessarily dangerous to go moving so many troops around
cinchsack: yeah, some feather up someone's ass
bethlyn327: how far south of baghdad?
cinchsack: I dunno
bethlyn327: one of those dangerous places
cinchsack: but at a place with no "facilities".
cinchsack: so it'll be back to the basics
bethlyn327: no email or anything huh?
bethlyn327: i'll go crazy
cinchsack: I dunno
bethlyn327: you'll have to start writing snail mail all the time!
cinchsack: yeah
cinchsack: I'll be like human jerky in all that heat and no ac!
bethlyn327: oh man, that will suck!
bethlyn327: i mean, in some ways i know it seems more fair, but...
cinchsack: but?
bethlyn327: but i don't care about fair! i care about you being safe and comfy!
cinchsack: I don't know how we can get out of it
cinchsack: I don't want to go to a place that's more dangerous and a lot less comfy
bethlyn327: i know

I know there are some people who would object to me putting out such a rumor about troop movement, honestly, I don't care. My goal with these post about Nerdstar and I during this deployment are simply to show how this affects two people and their families.

UPDATE: I've seen the news stories about Sanchez being replaced. I haven't caught Nerdstar online since to ask her if that will make any difference.

Nerdstar update

I think other than going to bed, going to Whole Foods makes me miss Nerdstar more than anything. I just want to pack up the whole store and send it to her. Her love of food is rivaled only by her love for me, although there can be a serious debate about which comes first!

She's doing pretty well over there. She's been a lot happier since she finally got a job to do. She said their truck broke down yesterday, but fortunately not while they were on a convoy. She's been having roommate troubles, but her roommate is somewhere else this week and then coming back to the states next month. At least living with this girl makes living with me look much easier! It's in the 90s over there and she says it's already really hot. Several times when I've seen her on the webcam she's got her camelpack water stray thing in her mouth all the time.

Nerdstar Update

The new job is great! I finally have something to do and new people to meet! Their convoys are very safe, they take more precautions than a lot of other
people who run convoys that I've been on, so I feel pretty safe!

The kind of convoys that I am usually on are for supply runs, they usually screen the route early in the morning to ensure that there are no ied's, all
these intel people would be on shift for 24/7 to try to make sure that the threat is mininum. They will cancel convoys if the threat is too high.

I've been so tired in the past few days, with the roommate conflict and the new job, that I didn't go and work out like I usually do, but it's getting better so my routine should be re-established. I am also going to try to come back to computer lab so we can IM again!

Nerdstar Update

From her latest email:

Sorry that I wasn't able to be online yesterday or the night before. A total of 6 mortar rounds went off in the last 2 days/nights, and two of them went off about 30 feet away from where we were in the computer lab, I guess it was something of a sign that I shouldn't linger any longer in that area.

I am safe and sound though, so don't worry!

I went on a convoy to give the chief warrant her leave packet, we took the long way to the airfield and the ride was rough, we got tossed around the back of the truck somewhat, thank God that no one fell out of it!

I got so tired afterward that I just fell asleep, but not for too long, my roommate came back from her convoy and was bitching about how her bosses don't let her do anything on convoys anymore since her co-worker got hurt.

And this group needed help with getting someone from the med. clinic, a 22 years old had a heart attack while playing volleyball... supposedly, he had a pre-existing heart condition, so my question is, why is he even here?

Andy's 5 Questions

Yesterday Stephen wrote a post about Andy Rooney's 5 Questions to soldiers. I decided to take it to the source and emailed them to Nerdstar to get her answers. Here they are:

1. Do you think your country did the right thing sending you into Iraq?

My country would have done the right thing by sending me into Iraq with a specific duty, I did not come here just to be here and not do much of anything.
I am a supply clerk to a unit with minimal supply activity.

2. Are you doing what America set out to do to make Iraq a democracy, or have we failed so badly that we should pack up and get out before more of you are killed?

There is a lot of misunderstanding between the Iraqi people, what they wanted, and what we think they wanted. Military might will quell the conflicts for a
little while. There is a large distance between the common Iraqis and the so called leaders, to which, some of them already were in positions of power before
the coalition took over, and have very little clues as to what their people are going through. Sometimes, America does't have all the answers.

3. Do the orders you get handed down from one headquarters to another, all far removed from the fighting, seem sensible, or do you think our highest command is out of touch with the reality of your situation?

Extremely so, to the higher headquarters people, it's all about what they can present to their superiors that seems to be filling all the gaps. We've got cooks who are not cooking, supply clerks who are not doing supply operations, in general, there seems to be a lot of misplacement of personnels. Some of us, just plain don't have defined duties.

4. If you could have a medal or a trip home, which would you take?

A trip home, of course!

5. Are you encouraged by all the talk back home about how brave you are and how everyone supports you?

If the claims were only correct! Americans seem to go through phases of supporting the troops and then not so much so.

Stupid and Frustrating

More exerpts from one of our IMs. The breaks are where I deleted unrelated sappy stuff. This isn't graphic or anything, but it is about troops dying. The rest is our unrefined bitching and moaning.

Update

Nerdstar and I got to IM again last night. She says there are still explosions several times a day around their camp, but nothing more serious yet. At that time her roommate had been gone 24 hours and she didn't know anything yet. I got this email from her this morning:

My roommate didn't get shot at, she's at the airfield, where the hospital is, as
well as everyone else on the convoy. I guess they are waiting until the person
who got shot gets somewhat recovered so they could come back. So I guess she's alright.

Damn

This isn't an easy entry to read, it's about the real danger over there, and about soldiers and others being killed. Unfortunately that's the reality of it. I wish to God it wasn't.

The 1st. annual nerdstar's snacks for the troops drive!

Greetings from Iraq! This is nerdstar and I'd like to say thanks to those who sent me birthday cards and they really made my birthday! Some friends of mine treated me to the local Arabic restaurant on base and donated snickers bar to me, which I enjoyed it in a flash!

I'd like to request a favor, we'd really appreciate it if all or some of you faithful readers of this blog can donate some snack foods, nothing fancy, like ramen, m&m's, snack cakes, etc. and send it to :

Spc.
HHC 3-2 SBCT
APO AE 09385

We'd really appreciate it!

Update:
I don't think you can send too much beef jerky, dried fruit mixes, oreos, or even canned speghetteos.
Beth

Another update: She's also mentioned pens, writing pads, stationary, books, magazines, powdered drink mixes - unsweetened kool aid little packs, nuts.

So Sad

This is from Nerdstar's email:

It has been a pretty sleepy day so far, overnight, this infantry solider killed himself because (this is heresay) he got dumped by his girlfriend. No one has
said anything about it yet, this is typical 3rd. brigade, just like how they dealed with the rape at Camp Udairi.

The weather here was so hot that I had to turn the AC on for a while. I heard that they are also going to inspect all of our rooms for contrabands like alcohol, etc. because... get this they've actually got someone to go through trash and found jack daniels bottles. I say bring it on, and please clean out my room while you are at it.

I can't imagine how hard it is for a family to have a soldier be killed while over, but man, suicide that would be even harder. I can't imagine the stress and pressure and other crap that soldiers go thru being deployed. The army has psychologists and chaplains and try to do what they can for the soldiers, but it's still so hard to be deployed and away from home. Then if things back home aren't going well, and from what I hear lots of soldiers get breakup and divorce notices while away, I can only imagine how devastating that can be.

In going back thru all my entries trying to put them in categories, I was reading last night how mad I was at Nerdstar when she was finally sent to Iraq. But I also knew very quickly that I had to put all that aside and do whatever it took to help her get thru this. Because no matter how bad I think I have it here at home, she has it so much worse.

Greetings from Mosul

Hi everyone! I am experiencing some residual jet-lag and a case of the sinus headache, what welcome back gifts they are! Everyone has been saying hello to me, nothing here has changed too much, depends on where you look at.

There are, a lot more people here, from different divisions and countries, that'll likely make this place more interesting. That's not to say that I'll know enough of them to really get the big picture.

Some of the air force guys have left to go home, lucky for them, they don't usually get deployed for more than 4 months, 6 at the most. One of them, who's sort of dating my roomate, has donated his stash of ramen, which is great because I have yet to feel the urge to eat dining facility food.

Speaking of dining facility, all the contracted female cooks at our facility got shipped to another facility. Words has it that our commanding officer thought that the female cooks are just walking temptations for the male soldiers, so they got shipped out...interesting. We now have a all-Phillappino male staff at the dining facility.

I am trying to get the sleeping routine right again, this morning, around 5 am, I woke up to the sounds of Isalamic prayer broadcasted via loudspeaker (very common in this neck of the woods, as well as the rest of Iraq, where loudspeakers are available), and couldn't go back to sleep for a while. I had forgotten about that, I guess I'll just have to get used to it and then tune it out all over again, that and the noises of jets flying all over the place, I guess it's to scare off the insurgents, I heard that they don't like loud jets.

I ran into this friend of mine from our linguist group (possibly my only female freind in that group), and she told me how she just doesn't feel the same about her marriage anymore. I was a kind of surprised to hear that but not overtly, because this time is a time of change for a lot of people. I think I've also changed in the way that I know that the b.s. and the personality differences are predictable and I am accepting it. I know that doesn't sound much from stuff like straying from spouses or the like, but I was really, really angry when I first got here...I'll talk about that part later.

I've got to go and look busy now, will write more later!

Back in Iraq

Hi again everyone! Nerdstar here and I just wanted to report that I am back in Iraq now, all jet-lagged but in one piece.

It was a series of long flights that took me back, but not long enough to keep me away from Iraq, sadly. I flew from Austin, to Atlanta, then Amsterdam and finally to Kuwait. I had a layover in Amsterdam for like 8 hours and despite some hesitation of my fellow travellers to go out and see historical downtown, I just went ahead and took the train down there. I must take Beth back there with me, the atmosphere there is so free and liberated, nothing is taboo over there, it seems. I took walks and took pictures of some of the buildings, got some postcards, and no, I did not get any hallucingenics, I mean, isn't this tour in Iraq hallucinating enough?

I miss Beth and the pets so much already, but even though there are still 8 more months that I'll have in Iraq, at least I can began to see the end of it. I am going to, once again, be a very grateful person when I get back stateside! I hope that, if there's one thing that I wanted for my birthday, is that we'll all come back safe and sound, because if we don't, then how are we able to tell our superiors to piss off when it's time to reenlist? (Not to put down anyone else who just loves the military lifestyle and wanted more of it!)

I will began, when I get back to my camp, to write more about the stuff that goes on there so you guys and gals can began to get a sense of things. I know that there are already many other blogs by the soldiers, but stick around and perhaps you'll find something different in this one!

Take good care, everyone!

THoughts at the end of my leave

Hi, it's nerdstar again, and I am near the end of my leave. I wish that it was for a longer time, or better yet, the end of this deployment. Just came back from visiting my family, and there wasn't enough time spent with both Beth and them. I don't know how exactly to reconcile the problems between me, my family, and her, I'll have the remaining time in Iraq to think about it, how do you even began to campaign for people to accept each other?
I am going to miss everyone a lot, especially Beth and the kids. (I've been petting them as much as I could.) I am going to keep on trying to stay safe, wake up my mind and body a little more, and wait for the time that I can finally go back home for good again!
I will be updating what's going on via this blog, hope y'all come and visit again soon!

Loving all things funny and sometimes stupid

Hi again! I just wanted to say this week has been great in my exposure to bad movies and shows on cable tv ("Joe's Apt.", "E-True Hollywood Story","Crank Yankers", just a few examples.), and I also got a few DVD with titles such as "Good Times-the first season", and a few Spongebob Squarepants DVDs. I also have been flooding Beth with lots of non-sequiturs, even though I know that as we prepare to goto our perspective families, there will be lots and lots of stress.
Humor is what is missing amongst the general body of soldiers in Iraq. I think it's one of the most important components of survival, whether or not you are a deployed soldier. Over where I am at, there are so much dramas and rumors about and between people, the frustration is more poignant when you add on the ban on sex, drinking, and the most important of all, free speech. (Some people say that the ban on sex is the worst of all, but I think some viewings of badly produced porn may just be the cure for that, but that's just what I think.)
I think it'll be interesting to see what becomes of this ban on everything, I, for one, will go back prepared. I have prepared a whole collection of funny movies and books to keep me connected to all things funny and sometimes stupid. Having Beth with me also relaxes me, and reminds me that what's out there is simply a badly constructed social experiment,and that there will be a end to it.

It's good to be back!

Hi everyone! Almost fresh off of the plane from New York! After so many change of planes I am finally back on good ole US soil! It is so nice to finally take a shower, eat pizza, pet the pets, and you know...snack!! :-) It has been really cold from my stop in Athens and on, like this global freeze sort of thing!
I plan to take it easy for a few days, just concentrating on the Mrs. and the kids, and then deal with my genetic family, I look forward to seeing everyone! Not to mention some of the shopping that I will do for my fellow troopers (There's really not that many).
By the way, did I tell you how good it is not to be in my grungy, making everyone look sexless uniform?
Thanks for all the support, online or otherwise, so far! I am not going to think about my return to Iraq for as long as I can....all I can say is that how about we send Bush/Cheney back to Iraq instead of me? I'd like to see how long they'd last!
Ramen is giving me that "I need attention" stare, I must tend to him now! Later!

YIKES! Nerdstar Update

I am at the airfield now, thankfully, there is a internet cafe across the street. While we are holding for the plane to take us to Kuwait, we'll be staying in the lovely tent!

I am not suprised that there was a long wait for phones in Kuwait, but hopefully, I will be in luck when I get there.

Last night, a mortar round exploded about 30 feet in front of me, I was standing with my 1st. sgt., and it was loud! I sort of froze there and then collected whatever senses that I had and ran to get my combat gear on. For as many times as they have been trying to shoot us, I am glad that most of them shoot terribly!

I can't wait to get back to you too! I was telling my roomate, "guess what? I am going to have some sex"! throughout the evening.

Woohoo

If I have to be woken up by the phone ringing, it sure is nice to have the voice on the other end be Nerdstar!! What a nice surprise! She says she can now tell the difference in what an incoming IED (improvised explosive device) and RPG (rocket propelled grenade) sounds like. Great. Fortunately the guys firing them are lousy at it. Her poor roommate is just nice enough and good looking enough that she constantly has guys hitting on her. When it's probably about a 400 or 500 to 1 ratio of men to women I can only imagine. Still no word on when she might get her two weeks leave. She's been lucky so far in not betting sick. There was a stomach virus going around and her roommate got the flu. Sounds like she's hanging in there.

Small Sample

It's hard to explain just how much Nerdstar's life is all about food, or how random our conversations can be. This is just a small sample of our IM in the wee hours of the morning:

bethlyn327: i'm so ready for you to be home
cinchsack: I am ready to be home!
bethlyn327: so we can travel around
bethlyn327: Vegas, NYC
cinchsack: yes
bethlyn327: and anywhere else you want
cinchsack: cake town
cinchsack: cheese city
bethlyn327: nerd
cinchsack: heheheh
cinchsack: that would be so nice!
cinchsack: ice cream mountain
cinchsack: pizzaville
bethlyn327: i'm so glad you fantasize about food and not other women!
cinchsack: you should know that by now
cinchsack: you and food
cinchsack: food and you are on the top of my list
cinchsack: of course, you are on the very top
bethlyn327: it'll be a month of nonstop food and sex when you get back
cinchsack: that's right!

Nerdstar Update

It's raining here too, it's the rainy season in Mosul, I don't know about the rest of Iraq. I don't have a job/job yet, and neither does my "brother", but it really doesn't bother me too much. I go on mail convoys every other day and I guess when things are up and running, they'll make me one of the mail clerks.

My convoy rides have been pretty safe so far, the most "hostile" thing that has ever happened to me so far was this little boy sticking his tongue out at us, we all laughed. Most of the kids and some of the adults in the city just waved at us or gave us thumbs-up signs.

Brown and Root contracts the food and the living facilities here, and the food is a lot better. They live slightly better than we do, and have access to civlilian vehicles, plus they get paid a lot more, and their rules are not as strict, but there's got to be a reason why a lot of them were ex-military... the lower level workers can get jerked around a lot.

I miss you, and it seems like now the realization that there has been no sex (at least for me), and other kinds of intimate contacts are sinking in, for some it's more diffucult than others. :-(

I will write more to you soon, I get to use the net at about, so far, every other day... I will hopefully in time get into a routine about stuff, and use the net more often... now if I can just find the phone so I can call you!

Sigh of Relief

I wasn't expecting to hear from Nerdstar for at least several more days, so getting an email from her this morning really brightens my day. Here are some excerpts about what's she's up to now:

I've just arrived at Mosul yesterday, they put us up in small trailers, I am rooming with a very quiet girl from the psychological operations group, they do the pamphlets and other media stuff to get people to like us.

I don't know where I'll be working at yet, but not too worried right now, I just got here, no need to hurry on anything.

I am just trying to find out where everything is around here, I am sitting in one of Saddam's palace, we are in a complex with high walls and at least 3 palaces, of course, they've converted the biggest palace for operations planning and the rest of the palaces have been bombed out and needs repair, but they are still standing.

Internet here costs $2.00 a hour, not too bad.

I live next to one of the translators, a very nice guy, he treated us to Iraqi styled lunches,tea, even got me a pure wool blanket so I wouldn't get cold... don't worry, I paid him for it, it was only like $10.00. The color was pretty tacky but at least it works like a charm!

Troops Moving

Whenever I manage to drag myself out from under my cozy down comforter, I turn the tv to CNBC to get a feel for how the market is doing and if I might be making a few bucks on my stocks, then I switch to Fox News to make sure my life and world aren't in immediate danger.

I caught a decent story about the huge troop movement going on over in Iraq. They're going to bring home close to 100,000 soldiers who have been there way over a year. From what I know, Nerdstar's people are replacing the 101st near Mosul. On the bulletin boards on StrykerNews I've read that some of the advance people are already there. The guy on Fox News was saying that there is going to be some overlap of personnel in locations and that's a good thing so the new guys can talk to the old guys about how it all works in that locations. Makes sense to me. My guess is that Nerdstar is part of the people bringing up the rear and while they have to move to the new location, there still won't be room for them for a while.

I think I feel a little less worried about this move with so many soldiers moving around. It makes my Nerdstar's truck less of an obvious target.

In reading those bulletin boards I've also learned that Nerdstar and I have been damn lucky to be able to email as much as we have. A lot of families haven't heard from their soldier since they left Kuwait several weeks ago.

Word is, there will be a lot more internet and phone access, not to mention hot showers finally, once they get settled into the new camp.

I'm worried, until she's actually in my sight I'll worry, but I'm not panicked.

Nerdstar Update

The trouble also is, now when I write letters, I can't even send them because they took the mailbox away, and tore down the mail sorting tent! We don't even know when we are going up to Mosul!

DVD player is in storage until I get to Mosul, where we are more settled, I am using the DVD player from the folks that I work for to watch DVD's.

I am making friends and making conversations, mostly from the supply section people that I have worked with. Random people at the tent that I live in, and there is an Iraqi translator who used to be an admiral in the Iraqi coast guard who has been the nicest person so far, he loaned me his wool blanket before I got the poncho liner because I was feeling cold, too bad that I've got to go back to my company tent to hang out with him because he sleeps in the same tent with my useless leadership. I will try to take some pictures and write more in a letter or two.

I haven't done much in the last few days, today the PX truck came from another camp, and after hours of waiting, I finally got into that little PX trailer, I had only 3 minutes to shop. I got 3 tins of Vienna sausage, and two tins of Chef Boyardee spaghetti.

Cold and shot at Nerdstar

Having a good time with the little monkey? I just changed into a pair of ski socks that I got at REI before I left, man, this cold just seeps thru all the corners of the body! I've got cotton, polypro layers, plus my uniform, a friend's polypro jacket (we as reservists, never even got issued those), this big, black jacket that looks more like the stuff that people wear when they climb Mt. Everest or somewhere like that.

We got attacked at the base, the Iraqis fired AK-47's and mortar rounds at us, the location was like 200 yards from my evening work tent. I guess we've suppressed their fire, according to the radio transmissions that I've heard.

Right now, most people are in their combat gears, in case if anything else happens... the attack was about 2 hours ago. I heard that they roused everyone who was asleep up to run into the bunkers that were dug... man, that must suck!

Don't worry, nerdstar is alright, I was chewing on a piece of turkey jerky stick when I ran out of our tent... there were people who were like, "hey, don't smoke"! I was like, "it's a piece of jerkey stick that I'm chewing on"! hhahahahhaaahahaha! I know, it wasn't all that funny, but I tried.

That's My Girl

I finally got a phone call from Nerdstar right about 1 am, the Air Force guys she's working with let them use their satellite phone. I guess I'm not worrying too much because my first thought wasn't about the call being bad news, it was "oh yeah! My girl is calling." She's also getting more internet time and I got this in an email from her:

"I will probably be able to do more e-mailing than phoning, I don't really think they are going to set up the phone service anytime soon, but there is internet connection in the supply room, and I've volunteered to work overnight so I could have more net access.

Don't worry, I don't think I'll ever be in a stryker again, I made my lack of liking for that vehicle fairly clear to my chain of command. Let the infantrymen have their vehicles and let me have my 5 ton truck, at least I can see where I am going!

Thanks for making the REI trip for me! It really would come in handy when the really cold weather strikes! Can I ask you for another favor? Goto starbucks and get a few bags of coffee (3-4 bags, pre grounded)one type of each blend. Why coffee you ask? Well, I found out that it's a way to get to the air force's good side, so that there can be more chances for me to use their phone, and watch their DVD's. (This sgt. has a extensive collection of Southpark DVD's!) No big hurry on that though."

That's my girl - wheeling and dealing and bribing people! I'm laughing, you have no idea how that's not the image people who know her have of her. She always comes across as nice and quiet. Me, I'm not too surprised, just impressed! And yes, I'll be making a trip to Starbucks pretty soon.

Another Nerdstar Update

This pretty much sums it up about what we are doing, 4th. Infantry Div. (4th. ID) is in charge of us.

I went on a recon mission on a stryker, they were using me to do body searches on females detainees... well, we didn't have any that day, but I did get to ride in a stryker for about 12 hours, and let me tell you, it's a bad idea if you are even slightly clousterphobic! I was stuffed inside the vehicle with 11 men, and I don't like not being able to see where I am going! Thank God that's over!

Nerdstar Update

I just want to tell you that I am safe so far, living is still a kind of miserable, but I am getting used to it slowly.

I don't know if I am losing weight, but my clothes are looser fitting, and I guess I will let you be the judge of that! But I am still eating like a pig because of the coolness of the climate and the physical stuff that we go thru at times.

I am glad that they've got Saddam, but I don't know if it will change our times for being here, I am hoping that it'll be a shorter stay in Iraq also!

I rode in the stryker for 12 hours yesterday! It was one of the most cramped, and clusterphobic experiences in my life! I can't write too much more about it here, the line is not secure.

(I edited out the personal mushy stuff, don't want you to think there wasn't any.)

One Down

My poor Nerdstar has been overseas for a month now. One down, probably eleven more to go. We knew she wouldn't be able to call or email much once they got to the new camp. Apparently, that's more true than I would like. I hadn't heard from her at all for a week. This morning I just got a short email saying she's safe and adjusting. It sucks unbelieveably to not be able to talk to her, to hear her voice and get a better idea of how she's doing, to not share to even a small extent the shit she's going thru.

This is when I wish I had much better writing skills. That I could come even close to accurately describing how hard this is. How long the days and nights are. How the levels of worry and fear and dread fluxuate but never go away. To only be able to imagine how hard all of this is for her, and to be so far away and unable to help her get thru it at all. Yes, I email her every day, and send letters and stuff, but it seems so feeble. She's far from home, with nothing familiar around, worried about her grandparents, about me, the pets, her safety. I might be lonely, but I have our home, pets, family. I'm sure she worries about life moving on without her. It takes an extraordinary amout of trust to get thru a year like this.

I got one of her pay stubs in the mail today - extra pay for "hostile fire." Yeah, that makes me feel better. I'll say it again and again, this just sucks.

Stryker Brigade update

The embeded reporter from Tacoma had this story in the paper today. The Brigade made it's way to this camp in stages. Nerdstar and company are pulling up the rear, so they're on their way there over the next few days. She said she's not even sure how long they'll be in this location before having to move again. A couple of weeks ago she managed to obtain a small, thin matress and to find a place for it in the truck she's driving. If the cots don't arrive before she does, she said she can always sleep in the back of the truck. NONE of this sounds fun to me!! She also wasn't sure when she'd get a chance to shower again, check email again, or call again. Laundry has been a constant problem.

I miss my girl a lot. I try not to worry as much as I miss.