Beth's Contradictory Brain

More Work Stuff

Well, I decided to give myself a break from all the drama at work and I called in sick today. It's the first time I've called in since being hired back around the first of May. Then, I'm pretty sure I can get through two more days until the weekend. Then, it's only one more week until I'm off several days for Christmas.

The problems at work aren't new. I've been optimistic things would change around there almost since day one. The Bad Apple is supposed to be leaving us soon - although with my luck she'll change her mind again. Then maybe one of the people who works afternoons with me and isn't usually very helpful will change to the early morning shift. Although that would still leave the bitch I got into it with yesterday on the later shift with me. But at least the two wouldn't be allies.

One thing that pissed me off yesterday is that no one came to my defense. I bust my ass every day - and most days help out everyone who can't be bothered to learn their jobs for themselves. Yet no one told the bitch yesterday she was out of line.

There's a guy who works down in the main lab who's wanting to come back and work the later shift in our lab. If that actually happened it would be a good thing. I'd finally have someone there from 3 to 6 with me who knows their job.

Part of what's so frustrating is that I keep trying to be patient and optimistic, and I feel like I keep getting kicked in the nuts - so to speak.

I do know that every job has it's hassles and assholes. So finding a new job might not solve the problems. But I'll keep my ears open for something new and just try to ask the right questions if I ever get an interview.

UPDATE: I know, this entry was already long enough...

But it's 6:34 and I'm waiting for Nerdstar to make her way home through traffic. While I had hopes of finding enough around the house to do to keep myself busy/entertained today - it kinda ended up being boring. I'll keep that boredom in mind the next two days at work and see which one is worse. I'm not sure the weather helped today, but I'm grateful we're not in the middle of the country without power or heat.

This Close

I am THIS CLOSE to quitting my job. I am so tired of all the bullshit with my coworkers. I keep trying very hard to just go in to work, be really nice to my patients, get things done, and go home. And I am really nice to my patients. But after waiting seven months at this job for things to be better coworker wise, well, I just don't see it happening.

Last week I had the shitty, useless supervisor come behind something I'd corrected and almost screw it all up simply because she wouldn't listen to me that I had taken care of the problem. She was totally out of line, but I'm sure there were no consequences for her. (Our manager was already gone for the day, so I took it straight to his boss.)

Then today, this lady, who's been there not even a month, and I got into it. I tried training her a couple of weeks ago on the computer system, but somehow I managed to totally annoy her, so that ended and who knows when she'll actually get trained. (The other new guy who's been there probably two months has just this week gotten adequately trained.) Whatever. I couldn't care less. But, new lady has had a total attitude toward me ever since. No problem, I can go weeks without talking to someone at work. But today she was a complete bitch, then went right out and told another coworker I was being a bitch and that's when I went off that she should in no way discuss anything of the kind with another coworkers. And the (mostly) good supervisor seemed to take her side on this.

Then her and another employee spent the rest of the afternoon not doing much of anything.

Add in some other drama I can't even write about and it's just all too much bullshit.

The problem with quitting is I have spent too much time unemployed in the past several years, and I know it tends to be depressing. Yes, in a city this size there are other kinds of jobs out there, but I don't really want a different kind of job - and I have nothing to wear to work other than scrubs anyway. There aren't really a lot of other hospitals around, and the LabCorp and Quest locations around here are actually worse to work for than my little lab.

I did apply to a hospital a little south of here. We'll see if I even hear back.

I think I'd like to work in a doctor's office - but those jobs are the kind you only get if you know someone...

Ugh. I do know that once I hit that "I'm Done" place - they won't even get two weeks notice out of me.

Tired, Sore, Grumpy and Frustrated

That kinda sums me up lately, and it's not a lot of fun. My body has mostly adjusted to being on my feet all day, but then my left hip seems to have gotten slightly out of place like my right hip did back in KC. I've got a chiro appointment in the morning that will hopefully take care of it.

So far here in DC we haven't been too impressed with our various doctors. The dentist I went to the other day was the worst ever. I was just there for a cleaning and she was terribly rough and not even very thorough. She didn't use the waterpressure cleaning thingy.

Nerdstar had a dermatologist she went to that was ok, but not great. Then Friday I went to a different one to finally get my little skin cancer patches checked out. They're the unharmfull kind. Again, he didn't have a soft touch. He got things done, but I think it could have been a little less painfully. Plus, his schtik was getting you to tell him jokes, then he told me an off color version of one of the ones I knew. Icky.

Nerdstar's been going to the chiro I'm going to tomorrow and thinks he's pretty good. I know how simple it was for the one in KC to fix my right hip, so we'll see how he compares.

So that's the sore part.

Tired is just tired.

Grumpy and frustrated go together. The bad apple at work just seems to keep getting worse, and seems to keep getting away with all of it. And for lots of reasons it just frustrates the hell out of me every day. Part of it is the unfairness of the situation. Part of it is that her sucking really does make my day harder.

I had to work yesterday. Fine, we all work some Saturdays. (It's just 8 to noon.) I was happy that at least the bad apple wasn't going to be there. As of 8:05 I was the only worker there and there were about 12 patients already signed in. The guy who just works part time showed up about 8:10. Another new person got there about 8:10 - but couldn't log onto the computer. So at that point I'm asking where the woman who's worked there a long time is - and I'm told that bad apple is going to take her place. Bullshit. That meant that of the three of us there who know the computer system and everything else, I know the most - which is a lot, but not enough. To make it all worse, bad apple didn't even show up until after 9. I don't have any idea who approved the switch in people, but what a mess.

I keep trying to just hang in there and be patient and not say anything. Everyone knows the situation, including the boss, but so far things aren't changing very much. I know she won't be there for more than a few months, but I'd be much happier if she wasn't there more than a few more days.

And all of that means that by the time I'm home every day I'm tired and grumpy and out of patience. Which sucks for Nerdstar.

Mostly this weekend we've taken it easy and napped.

A Little Rant

I really, really like my job. I like the hours. I like the patients. I think the hospital is decent.

BUT. I cannot stand my co-workers. It's almost a case of one bad apple spoiling the bunch, but it's a little more than that. Moral and teamwork barely exist. Naturally, it's a top-down problem. I think in the 3 weeks I've worked there the manager has been there for maybe 5 of them, and those were non-consecutive. He's been with the hospital for 35 years and this job is basically his way of getting paid to be retired. So he doesn't care one whit how things run. He thinks he does. He likes to play nice and not enforce rules or tell anyone no. But that just creates a place where people look after themselves with no consideration for anyone else.

And the bad apple takes advantage of all of it. She's one of those people working hard at not working. Then there's the over-educated guy trying very hard to get a better job (and I sincerely hope he does, he's a nice guy). And the pregnant chick who I doubt will be there in two months. And the other nice guy who's leaving in two weeks.

So of people who intend to stick around a while, there's a lady who's so slow at doing things I don't even really count her as there. There's a guy who's so sick I'm not sure how much he counts. Although he's told me every day I've been there how hard he works. And it's not that he's not working, but... Then there's the bad apple, and her friend who just got hired. Bad apple is going to totally rub off on her friend, who I think would be a good worker if BA wasn't around.

I try to not let it get to me when there's a slow patch and everyone wanders off and I'm left feeling responsible for getting the patients out of there in a timely manner. But I tend to have this problem of letting it all get to me.

I'm hoping there's a slight chance that the boss man will be in the office more starting next week, and that might solve a few problems. But I'm not holding my breath. And even if he doesn't decide to come in more regularly, I can hope that he'll at least hire some decent folks to replace the ones leaving.

It's just that it's a stressful enough job without working with some really useless, annoying people.

Bleh.

Bad Days

I really like the patients at my current hospital more than I liked the ones in KC. Then again, I generally like the people in the DC area more than those in KC. As I've said, I like the diversity here - and that people who choose to live here generally seem to be energetic people who want to "make it" in life.

But the last couple of days when I've walked into one of the draw rooms and asked the patient how they're doing, I've gotten a lot of people saying "not so good".

Today, I had an elderly gentleman say that his wife had died two months ago - on his birthday. That's so sad. I had another elderly gentleman say he was ready to die. I had a middle aged woman say her doctor told her she's about to die, but that they'd told her that three years ago as well, but if they couldn't find a way to stop all her pain, she was ready to die. Worst of all, today I had a couple, the woman six or so months pregnant, and they'd just been told some really, really bad news about the pregnancy (I didn't ever find out exactly what). Her husband had gone to get something just as I was finishing drawing her blood, and after I was done she started to cry. I told her it was ok to cry, that between the hormones and bad news of course she was crying, and I hugged her for a moment. It was all I could do to not cry with her.

It wasn't long after that I had my lunch break, which gave me some time to think.

I don't write much here about my faith in God, or my beliefs. Mostly because they're so ill defined. But I do have a lot of faith in God. And there's still a part of me that really wants to be a person God works through.

In very simple terms, I have two goals at work. One is to not fuck up. I don't want to miss when I try to hit a vein. I don't want to draw the wrong tube or order the wrong test. All of that because I don't want to cause a patient discomfort or for them to have to come back and redo a draw because of something I did. Two is that I really want every patient to feel "good" when they leave my part of my job. (Eventually my time will be split between registering patients on the computer and drawing blood.)

Now, is it necessary for God to be a part of any of that? I don't know. But some part of me still believes that God really does bless people - and he generally does so through other people. I truly believe even just smiling at strangers can make a difference.

What's funny is that one of my co-workers "found God" about two years ago - and she's one of my least favorite co-workers. She tells people "God bless you" after she draws their blood - and I've seen it make people uncomfortable. Another of my co-workers is leaving this job in a month to go begin the process to be a Franciscan Monk. He has no reverence that's visible.

I really have no idea what I feel diferentiates me from them.

Anyway. I thought this post would be something other than what it's ended up being. Something about dealing with the public and trying in some small way to make their day just a little better.

Update

Work is going pretty well. It's a busy, busy place. Apparently there's going to be quite a bit of personnel turnover in the next few weeks. One lady who was out on maternity leave isn't coming back after this week. Another guy's last day is next Tuesday. I think another lady who's pregnant is kinda planning on not coming back after the baby in October - which will probably end up being August or September for her last day. Fun. Boss man said the other day he's about to hire 3 more new people. Another lady was hired just before I was - so our staff is going to be at least half, if not more, newbies.

That's not necessarily a bad thing - as long as he hires some more decent folks.

The best thing about work the last couple of days is how many patients have told me how good my "sticks" are. That means a lot to me. There are, and I'm sure will continue to be, a few patients every day with veins I can't locate. My personal philosophy is that unless I can find two good veins, I won't try to hit one hard to get one. I figure if they've only got one good vein, and by chance I miss it or something, then there's not a good backup for another phleb to hit. The goal is to get a patient's blood with as few sticks as possible. I'm usually right when I don't think I'm going to get blood out of a particular vein - so why try and miss just to have someone else have to try the second time. Of course, I hope over time to get better at harder veins.

The downside of work this week is that I'm spending 7 of the 8 hours drawing blood - which means I'm on my feet and putting my back at bad angles for all 7 hours. My back hurt so much today I was almost in tears. That's what I get for not working for 7 months. Ouch! Hopefully by the end of the week those muscles will toughen up! Eventually I hope to spend a couple of days a week doing the registration side of things, and a couple of days drawing blood. But it will be a few more days before I get trained on the registration side.

Just like the UN

Thursday and Friday were my early days at the new job. For some reason, I had to do two days of training with the lab's in-patient stick team. These folks do the blood draws all over the hospital - the floors, ER, GI, nursery, etc.

This is exactly the job I DON'T want. I don't enjoy drawing blood from people who are in the hospital. They already have all their IV lines, they've had blood drawn twenty million times already, and they're usually a hard stick. It makes me feel bad to have to stick them again. And honestly, some are just a little beyond my current competence level.

But, I got through the two days and made a decent enough impression.

Not only was I the only person on the stick team who is White, I was the only person even born in this country. It was fun listening to all the different accents. Two of the ladies are from Korea, two from Ethiopia, three or four people are from the Phillipines, and one of the men was Hispanic - I'm not sure exactly where from. It's also fun watching people with different accents try to understand each other!

Monday I start my real schedule at my real job. Apparently the out patient lab is still really understaffed. The manager told me Friday afternoon he's about to start the process to hire 3 more people.

Excited and Nervous

Yesterday I finally had the final interview for the job I've been hoping to get at the hospital. It was a "peer" interview, where you chat with three of your potential coworkers. It's an idea I really like. The three I met with seemed nice enough, I'd say we talked for about ten minutes, nothing too serious. From what I can tell they mostly want someone who's not going to call in sick all the time.

Today I got the official job offer. I start on the 7th, which is ok because I'll be out of town this coming Monday anyway. We're going to Dallas to see The Kid for his birthday!

A couple more cool things about this hospital are that on your very first day instead of spending it with HR doing orientation, you spend it hanging out in your actual department getting to know the folks, then you spend two days with HR doing all the fun paperwork. Also, over the course of the first month, once a week they give you and a supervisor and/or coworker vouchers to go to lunch to have some "down time" to get to know them.

I'll be working in the outpatient lab just like I was hoping to. We do the blood draws. Then the main lab is down the hall where they process everything. The overall supervisor, who I've spoken with more than would be normal because the lab manager is on vacation, told me there are at least 40 nationalities representated in the employees of the lab. I think that's cool. Also, this will be the first job in many years where I don't have all female bosses and coworkers - yippee!!

It's always a little nerve-wracking to be the new guy at a job. But I can't tell you how excited I am to finally be employed again - at a job I really think will be a good one!

Employed

A couple of weeks after moving here I was looking for jobs online and ended up updating my resume on Monster. It looks like that might have paid off.

Yesterday morning a nice young man in Pitts called about a phlebotomy job in a town about 40 miles from here. He ended up being really nice and going ahead and checking references and everything for our interview today at noon so that if it all worked out, I wouldn't have to drive all the way to Pitts twice.

I start training Monday morning. Thankfully it's only for two days because the training is just this side of Pitts, which means it's about an hour and a half drive to be there at 7:30 in the morning.

Ultimately I'll be working for Lab Corp, which is really funny because I applied to them online and they didn't want me.

I think I'll be more excited about the whole thing once I get through the two days of training and then actually see the location I'll be working at.

Burned Out

One of the most frustrating aspects of any job, particularly one you're new to and therefore still at least a little happy to go to every day, is working with people who are burned out.

I'd say out of 6 people who work in our little outpatient lab every day, one other lady was in the phleb. class I was, so she's still happy to be at work (although there are other complications for her that I hope get resolved this week). One lady is having her baby tomorrow, but is one of the hardest working people I've seen - even very, very pregnant. The other three are pretty burned out. One of the worst parts of that is that they have tons and tons of knowledge I don't have, but sometimes getting it out of them takes way too much effort. The least burnt out of the three is looking to relocate to a different hospital, so that will make things suck even more.

I've already told Nerdstar that when I start to get that burned out feeling, tell me to find something new to do. That's one of the big reasons I went into this line of work - because there are plenty of different types of jobs in a hospital/lab setting. When the day comes I no longer enjoy dealing with patients, it'll be time to move to a job where I don't have to.

Lack of Diversity

I really do like my new line of work. Some days it's a little more stressful than I'd like - but that's as much because of moody co-workers as it is my abilities.

I've only been doing this since mid-March, but it seems a lot longer. I didn't realize how much I'd progressed until we had the current class of students and I got to see just how slow they are, and then also being able to "re-direct" when they've missed the vein.

If you offered me $1000 I couldn't begin to guess where Nerdstar's next job will be. Part of me had really hoped she could do another short tour at Leavenworth so I could get at least close to a year of experience before having to find a job in a new city. I also felt like it was just so nice to have a job I like going to every day.

But...

While I'm not getting bored with being a phlebotimist, I'm getting bored with our patient demographics! On a busy day we draw over 90 patients, on a slow day it's between 50 and 70. On a good day there are at least four of us there at any given time. Out of those patients, at least 70% are white people over 60, maybe 65. Another 15% are pregnant minority women - most under 22 or so.

It's not that I don't like either set, I'd just like to see a lot more diversity! That would require moving to a different part of the country!

Obligation?

YES! I got an email today saying that I have been invited to the phlebotomy program. Very cool. I hope it's the start of good things. It starts Jan. 9.

So the very current struggle in my brain is about obligation and not being an ass. I'd love nothing more than for tomorrow to be my last day at the sucky job. But...

See, in spite of hating it, I'm actually doing a really good job, and my boss would probably do just about anything to keep me. I have a feeling that in spite of how much it sucks, she's probably tried to make it as stress free as she possibly could. (Unfortunately not enough.) So I'm really, really going to hate telling her I'm quitting. So I can be a total ass and just call the temp agency Monday and tell them to let them know I quit. Or I can play nice and at least work until next Friday.

It's a question of how much of an obligation I feel I have to these people. Technically, probably not much, as I am a temp. But what kind of person would I be if I just didn't show up starting Monday? And can I live with being that kind of person?

As much as I'd like to live a life that's all about me, well, it's just not always doable. I've never been Catholic, but you'd never know that by all the guilt I feel over stupid things.

Oh well. Either way. The very good news is I won't be working the week of Thanksgiving when my folks are here. And, I'll be free to go to Dallas for Christmas and Nerdstar and I can meet up in Austin for New Years. I can't wait!!

My Job Sucks

Man, it's either drought or flood for me job wise. Why can't I just find a simple job, show up for eight hours, do a little work, surf a little net, and go home?

I'm getting to work at 7 am, taking about a 25 minute lunch, and on good days I'm out of there at 5:30. 9.5 hours Plus a 35 to 45 minute drive. And it's 9.5 hours of solid work. Trying to solve shit that shouldn't be a problem. I've got 180+ brand codes of coffee products (Folgers etc.) that are all fucked up because of Katrina hitting New Orleans where the plant was. And the people who can tell me what to do about those codes will do anything other than just fix the problem. Nice. When you see the little signs in your grocery store that they don't have some Folger's products, that's why. Although you'd think by now they'd get their act together and figure out an alternate plan.

You'd also think that two weeks after dipshit quit, the nice boss lady would be nice enough to hire even a chimp to help out with the work load. Nope.

I sit in my little cube with three midwestern grandmothers within four feet. Not the most exciting of conversations when I do take a minute to look up from the paperwork.

I've been waiting, somewhat patiently, since the phlebotomy interview two and a half weeks ago for an answer. They said they'd have the notifications to us by the 7th, that was yesterday. I emailed them today and haven't heard anything. Even if the answer is No, I'd like to know so I can make plans.

I think about just quitting every day. But I don't want to be a quitter. (A common theme) I keep thinking any day now it's going to get better. But I realized driving home that's probably not going to happen. Honestely, I don't even think I'll get time off for Thanksgiving while my folks and the kid are here. (Trust me, I'll certainly quit before then.)

It's just the hassle of quitting a job. Having to tell them, try to answer why without too much honestly. Letting the temp agency know without screwing up them ever sending you to another job - you know, if the blood thing doesn't work out.

UGH. It's driving me crazy. And in turn I'm driving my poor black and blue Nerdstar crazy.

Weekend

Nerdstar sums up the weekend pretty well.

And while she may not be, I'm impressed with her bike riding. I know Kansas has a rep for being flat, but the little corner of Kansas/Missouri we're in is all rolling hills. So bike riding around here is not easy at all.

Work is still work. I hope to hear about the phlebotomy program in about a week. In the meantime, my boss called (her office is in a different building) Friday morning to talk about trying to juggle responsibilities so it's not so stressful, but really, until she hires an additional person, it's going to suck. At least three times in six or so minutes she said she was trying to make sure I wasn't going to quit on her. I mostly avoided answering, knowing that if the program works out I'll be quitting by mid December at the latest. But I certainly intend to at least give a week or two notice. The last week at work wasn't as stresful, but it was still a 47 hour week. The boss wants me to take on more responsibility - taking over the most fucked up part of the job in my little office. I was wondering why she didn't have the lady who's been there longer do the fucked up stuff and just let me do more of the worked out stuff. I have a feeling the other lady also refused to do the fucked up stuff and kept the easy stuff - and I don't blame her a bit. So we'll see how this week goes.

This and That

The interview yesterday was actually fun. There are two women who work part time to make one full-time person, so they were conducting the interviews together. It was supposed to be a short and to the point process, but we sat and chatted for about 35 minutes. We talked about my jobs dealing with oral history, Nerdstar's job with the military, Mpaquest and how exit signs are also mile markers - which comes in very handy for learning how to get around in a new city. At the end they said they should have me come back once a week just so we can all talk and they can learn more. How nice was that? I certainly hope that translates into getting into the program. They're taking six people this time and they said everyone gets a job at the end of the program who wants one - so that was good news.

They said they'll send out notices within two weeks.

Back at the job from hell... dipshit girl who honeymooned in Branson came in yesterday, gave her two week notice, worked half assed all day, then this morning just called in and quit. Nice. So my day was a little rougher than I would have liked. I didn't get done until 6, and that was only because the non-supervisor lady took pity on me. Hopefully tomorrow I'll know better what to look for to not have the same ton of problems.

Either way, I don't intend to be at that job past Christmas.

Ugh

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I ended the work week on a pretty big down note Friday evening. After a long week of feeling like the shit kept rolling downhill onto me, I was dead tired and very frustrated. I had hoped that Friday would go relatively smoothly, I'd get out of there at a decent time (God forbid after only 8 hours) and that come Monday my job would consist of only my job and things would go much more smoothly. But about five or so Friday, (my 8 hours having been up at 3:30) it all went to hell. There was me, the lady who had been training me who's not a supervisor, but has worked there forever and I think is like me in that she just wants to get shit done right and get done. There was our immediate supervisor - who I'm pretty sure thinks I'm a pain in the ass who doesn't want to learn every little detail - even though those details were about a job I won't be doing. Then there was our manager who is really nice, but not always helpful. There were a ton of issues, none of which I could offer any help with, and about 5:30 I saw no immediate end to. I was trying to finish up the issues with one stupid peace of paper, but the immediate supervisor would keep making me wait at least ten minutes before answering my questions every time I'd walk over there to try to find out the right processes. Also about 5:30 the manager came over to our building to try to do what she could to start resolving issues. I think the lady who'd been training me would have been happier to not have to explain every little thing to our manager and just gotten it done herself.

About 6:00 I was physically and mentally done. I was shaking and frustrated. What sucks is that all three of these women have been putting in 80+ hour weeks for a month or two. It's not that I expect sympathy, but I was asked to do way too much last week with zero training on at least half of it. So I went over to our manager, told her I was about to pass out and that I was sorry, but I was going home. At that point if she'd said "then don't come back on Monday" I would have jumped for joy.

I don't really feel bad for looking out for myself. But it's just damn frustrating. I'm smart and I'm a hard worker - and it was partially those two facts that got me fucked over last week. I'm sure they thought I could handle the other person's job on top of my own, but they just never gave me enough information to do any of it well or right.

I'm also pretty sure that the immediate supervisor and the lady who's been there forever were pisssed that I left. So working with them tomorrow won't be fun.

On top of that, I have to leave tomorrow at 2:30 for an interview for a phlebotomy program. (Keep your fingers crossed on that for me, I really want that to work out!)

We'll see how this week goes. I'm trying to not be a quitter. If I have any luck at all, I'll get accepted into the phlebotomy prgoram that starts in January and I'll work this stupid job until Christmas.

Work Is Not My Life

Week three of the new job, and I'm finally all set up at my own desk, with a working computer and such. Nice. But, because some chick is out on vacation for her honeymoon (to Branson, Missiouri - which tells you all you need to know about the women I work with) and because of the rollover to the new computer system, this week is still a little crazy. I worked over ten hours yesterday and just under nine today. I fully expect it to be better next week.

I work mostly with five or six women. And while I know things have been busy, they all seem to enjoy working eleven + hour days. Um, no thanks. I swear they don't even take lunch breaks, they work at their desk and eat. Um, no thanks.

I don't mind working hard. I'm all about getting my job done, and done right. If you ask me to do something, I'll never say no. I'll never ask you to do my job for me. I prefer to live and let live at work. This job seemed nice in that I should have a set routine every day that I work through without much interaction. I hope that next week that's more how this job ends up being.

In the meantime, I'm not sure I'm making the best impression. (Thank God I'm there to make money and not impressions!) I take my lunchtime away from my desk. I generally bring my lunch and a book and read in the breakroom. Today one of the ladies came in and joked about me not eating at my desk. I said, "no way!" Then, because I was as done as I could be for the day, I left about 4:15 (not 3:30 which is 8 hours) and a different lady said, "well, aren't you special." I said, "Yep, always have been."

I do understand there's not much to life up here in the void of the midwest, but I would NEVER prefer to be at work when I could be ANYWHERE else! They don't seem to share that philosophy.

Oh well. While I'm glad to have a job, I'll never be sad to see this one end.

A Job is a Job

Sorry for the lack of posts. I was not informed when I agreed to take this job that the hours would be from 7 a.m. to 4:45 p.m. (I'm hoping for 8 hour days soon!) IF I had been informed of the hours when the temp agency first let me know the job existed I would have said thanks, but NO thanks. I was never a morning person, but two years of getting up around 9 a.m. is making it damn near impossible to now get up at 5:50 a.m. And I'm afraid that next week they'll want me to start being there at 6:30. UGH! Other than that it's a perfectly boring job. That, too, might change Monday. They're switching over to a new inventory system (sort of) and the way it affects what I was hired to do is that it totally fucks it. Nice. Not that I care enough to be stressed.

It's a job. I'm not looking to quit any time soon. But I am hoping for a good reason to quit - like Nerdstar getting a better job in a different state, or a program I've applied to to be a phlebotomist. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm dead on my feet and my eyeballs feel like they're going to fall out of my head.

$$

Now that it appears my financial situation is changing, let’s see if I can manage to write about some things I’ve been reluctant to write about. It seems it’s easier to write about sex than money.

It’s been 22 months since I quit my last job. Ten months of that Nerdstar was in Iraq. A month or so on the road. Then the holidays. Then the move seven months after her arrival back in the states. Did I look for a job during any of that time. Yes. Vigorously? No. The time Nerdstar was in Iraq was harder on me than I thought it should have been, but that’s how it was. Then there was the uncertainty before the move.

Do I feel I have to make excuses for 22 months of being unemployed? Sometimes. I know Nerdstar’s sister and one of her friends from college feel I’m taking advantage of her. I feel I stood by her through some damn hard times.

But it’s been hard. For both of us I’m sure. (Nerdstar has her own blog if she cares to weigh in.)

We’ve also talked a couple of times about if things would be different if: 1. she was a man, 2. if we were married and/or 3. if we had kids. I think it would have, but how I can’t articulate.

We’re not into gender roles and all the associated issues. But I still end up feeling guilty for not holding up my end of this partnership financially. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t feel that way if I were straight.

Before she went to Iraq, when we both went through times of employment and unemployment, we split most things 50/50. The exception being food bills – my girl eats at least twice as much as I do. When she was being deployed, we consolidated everything to make it easy to pay all the bills, and “just in case.” I used up my savings and such paying “my” bills as long as I could.

Now, as I mentioned in the last post, I joke with Nerdstar about being her indentured servant. Like I’m somehow responsible to pay her back for the past 22 months. But will I really feel any less bothered by the whole thing a year from now? I guess I hope so.

Day One

I work in the office of older ladies with very bad hair. It's almost bad enough for me to get a camera phone just to show you guys, but, that would be rude. Heh.

I think the job will be fine. Getting up ass early won't be fun, but oh well. After two years of a pretty leisurely schedule, I can't complain.

New Kid

Well, the new job starts tomorrow. I actually intend to keep this one more than a week. I'm still not entirely sure exactly what I'll be doing. I know they're getting a new computer system starting tomorrow, so at least I'll be in on the ground floor for training. The temp agency mentioned my hours might end up being from 6:30 to 3 or so. Ummm, I sure hope not. But, I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I have mixed feelings about finally working again. I told Nerdstar I kinda feel like I'm her indentured servant for the next six months to a year.

So, we'll see. See how the job actually is, how the co-workers are. Things like that. I know they needed to hire three or four other people, so at least I won't be the only new kid.